オートファジー || Autophagy

オートファジー
ootofajii
Autophagy

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: 柊キライ (Hiiragi Kirai)
Composed by: 柊キライ (Hiiragi Kirai)
Release date: 19 August 2019

Requested by: taringtajam + Innomi
Watch the official video on YouTube!

Update (14 June 2020): Further updates to improve accuracy (無理矢理). Thank you for the comments, Tackmyn!

Autophagy literally means ‘self-eating’, but it looks like it’s how cells in the body remove unwanted or damaged components.

Miyashita Yuu also covered this song (link to cover version).


愚かしいとか 馬鹿らしい そんなことを僕の前で試行しないで
言葉にしては苛まれ 囚われては被害者振ることも出来ないから

orokashii toka bakarashii sonna koto o boku no mae de shikou shinaide
kotoba ni shite wa sainamare torawarete wa higaisha furu koto mo dekinai kara

How foolish. How absurd. Don’t try out such things in front of me.
I put it into words and am tormented. I can’t play the victim when I’m taken prisoner, after all.

穏やかに暮らしてほしい

odayaka ni kurashite hoshii

I just want them to live in peace.

ハロー はははは ハロー ははははは
脳内案内人 そう かわった人ね
ハロー はははは ハロー ははははは
止めどない もう なかったことに

haroo ha ha ha ha haroo ha ha ha ha ha
nounai annainin sou kawatta hito ne
haroo ha ha ha ha haroo ha ha ha ha ha
tomedo nai mou nakatta koto ni

Hello! Hahahaha. Hello! Hahahahaha.
An intracerebral guide? Oh, how weird…
Hello! Hahahaha. Hello! Hahahahaha.
It’s endless. Let’s pretend that it never existed.

ただただ 心を突き放し しっし 蝕みの時 霧 海鳴り 光
僕は待ってないのに踊られても困るし君 君
過去の孤独の問いに身 脈打ち苦しい 寄らないでよ

tada tada kokoro o tsukihanashi shishhi mushibami no toki kiri uminari
boku wa mattenai noni odoraretemo komaru shi kimi kimi
kako no kodoku no toi ni mi myakuuchi kurushii yoranaide yo

I just push my heart aside. Shoo! At the time of ruin, the mist, the sound of the sea, and light are there.
I’m not waiting, but your dancing is bothering me!
When faced with questions from my past isolation, my body pulses and hurts. Don’t come near me!

ハロー
なかったことに
ハロー
わかった頃に
ハロー

haroo
nakatta koto ni
haroo
wakatta koro ni
haroo

Hello!
Like it never existed—
Hello!
When I realised it—
Hello!

愚かしいとか 馬鹿らしい そんなことを僕の前で口にしないで
「生きてく上で避けられず 割り切るしか」 そう言うあなたは困ってなさそう

orokashii toka bakarashii sonna koto o boku no mae de kuchi ni shinaide
“ikiteku ue de sakerarezu warikiru shika” sou iu anata wa komatte nasasou

How foolish. How absurd. Don’t say such things in front of me.
“You can’t avoid it while you’re alive. There’s nothing to do but put up with it.” You say that but don’t seem troubled.

脳髄から締め出したくて

nouzui kara shimedashitakute

I want to lock you out from my brain.

アロー ああああ アロー あああああ
到来 難題に問う 無駄なことは?
アロー ああああ アロー あああああ
止まらない 振り返らない
アロー

aroo aaaa aroo aaaaa
tourai nandai ni tou muda na koto wa?
aroo aaaa aroo aaaaa
tomaranai  furikaeranai
aroo

‘Allo. Ahhhh! ‘Allo. Ahhhh! (1)
I ask a difficult question that arrives. What’s futile?
‘Allo. Ahhhh! ‘Allo. Ahhhh!
I won’t end. I won’t look back.
‘Allo.

忘れさせて
ハロー はははは ハロー ははははは
脳内案内人 そう かわった人ね
ハロー はははは ハロー ははははは
止めどない もう なかったことに

wasuresasete
haroo ha ha ha ha haroo ha ha ha ha ha
nounai annainin sou kawatta hito ne
haroo ha ha ha ha haroo ha ha ha ha ha
tomedo nai mou nakatta koto ni

Let me forget.
Hello! Hahahaha. Hello! Hahahahaha.
An intracerebral guide? Oh, how weird…
Hello! Hahahaha. Hello! Hahahahaha.
It’s endless. Let’s pretend that it never existed.

これから心が宿った頭蓋 無理矢理隅まですすいで洗いたい バイバイしたい
僕はやってないのに騒がれても鬱陶しい しっし
今脆くも生きてる日々に 愚かに憂い 消えたいと願う

kore kara kokoro ga yadotta zugai muriyari sumi made susuide araitai bai bai shitai
boku wa yattenai noni sawagaretemo uttoushii shisshi
ima morokumo ikiteru hibi ni oroka ni urei kietai to negau

My heart once dwelled in my skull. I want to forcibly rinse it corner to corner now. I want to say bye.
I didn’t do it, but your fussing is irritating me. Shoo!
I grieved foolishly during days I lived through tender-heartedly. I wished to disappear
.

ただただ 心を突き放し しっし 蝕みの時 霧 海鳴り 光
僕は待ってないのに踊られても困るし君 君
過去の孤独の問いに身 脈打ち苦しい 寄らないでよ

tada tada kokoro o tsukihanashi shishhi mushibami no toki kiri uminari
boku wa mattenai noni odoraretemo komaru shi kimi kimi
kako no kodoku no toi ni mi myakuuchi kurushii yoranaide yo

I just push my heart aside. Shoo! At the time of ruin, the mist, the sound of the sea, and light are there.
I’m not waiting, but your dancing is bothering me!
When faced with questions from my past isolation, my body pulses and hurts. Don’t come near me!

今に弾ける悪の芽よ

ima ni hikeru aku no me yo

O seeds of evil, which will soon burst open!

ハロー
なかったことに
ハロー
わかった頃に
ハロー

haroo
nakatta koto ni
haroo
wakatta koro ni
haroo

Hello!
Like it never existed—
Hello!
When I realised it—
Hello!


(1) アロー (aroo) is interpreted as ‘allo, a contracted form of ‘hello’, in line with the previous usage of ハロー (haroo – hello) in the song. アロー can also be interpreted as ‘Arrow.’

14 thoughts on “オートファジー || Autophagy

  1. Innomi December 14, 2019 / 9:42 pm

    Wooooo!! It’s finally here! Thank you so much for the translation!! I see you’ve linked Yuu’s cover too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Releska December 14, 2019 / 9:44 pm

      Yeah! I love flower’s version but Yui’s cover makes me see the song in a different light too. I love listening to different versions of a single song!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Innomi December 15, 2019 / 5:49 am

        Right?! His version is super cool and sort of theatrical!

        By the way, I wanted to suggest updating some of your oldest translations, as a special for the blog’s 5th anniversary! Or compiling a top 20 for your favourite translations!

        But then again, you have a lot of requests so…I thought it might be a lot of work.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Releska December 15, 2019 / 8:34 pm

          Thanks for the suggestion! I wanted to do something for my blog’s fifth birthday but I ended up running out of time >_> I have some more milestones coming up next year so… we’ll see 😎

          Like

    • Releska May 16, 2020 / 12:57 pm

      Hello! Lovely to meet you (^_^) I’d definitely appreciate any suggestions to bring us closer to the core of the song’s meaning. I’ll have a read through and make some revisions. Thank you so much!

      Like

    • Releska May 16, 2020 / 2:32 pm

      Just leaving another comment to let you know that I’ve updated the translation based on our discussion. It was great to talk more about the song, and I’ll take your comments on board for future Hiiragi Kirai translations…!

      Like

  2. Violet May 16, 2020 / 3:16 am

    Hello Releska! I wanted to let you know that over on the Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki a native Japanese speaker has requested that some corrections/edits be made to this translation. We won’t edit it in accordance with your terms, but if you’re interested in revising the translation yourself, their suggestions can be found here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PmK47C1d3bdSujWOOzypiKroiXq31LhWQqBuGsbcK4Y/edit#heading=h.f1et0oy62prc

    I hope you’re doing well, and thank you for all the great work that you do!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tackmyn Y. May 16, 2020 / 1:09 pm

      Oh my, that’s me! I forgot to tell you that I already told it to Releska… I’m very sorry to have bothered you.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Releska May 16, 2020 / 2:31 pm

      Thanks for that, I appreciate you letting me know about that. I made some comments and had a chat with Tackmyn about the lyrics in the Google doc, and I’ve made some updates to the translation to make it more accurate. I got a lot out of it, and will use the comments to be more accurate in future Hiiragi Kirai translations!

      Please feel free to update any versions of the translation hosted elsewhere (^_^)

      Like

  3. Tackmyn Y. June 14, 2020 / 1:45 am

    Just another suggestion from me: 無理矢理 is not “knowing it’s impossible.” It is completely different from 無理 (which means “impossible” for sure). I guess it’s more like… “forcibly” or “by force.” cf. 彼は無理矢理ドアをこじ開けた。 / 彼女は無理矢理白状させられた。
    And, I noticed this just now but, you put “II didn’t do it”… I mean, a typo. You have to remove an I. That’s all. (*^-^)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Releska June 14, 2020 / 11:54 am

      Thanks for that! In the absence of an editor I really appreciate it when people let me know when there are typos. I’m always updating my proofreading rituals to make sure those sorts of typos don’t make it through but some will inevitable show up (^_^);

      I see your point about 無理矢理 relating to doing something ‘by force’, and that’s something that was lost when I translated it as “knowing it’s impossible.” I focused on the first part of the definition in my dictionary: /無理と知りながら/強引に物事を行うさま。

      I felt that translating it as ‘forcibly’ implies that, at some point, the speaker will be able to rinse it clean, but I don’t know if that’s the case. For example, in the second example you raised I would interpret it as something like “[Even though she knew it wouldn’t work out], she was made to confess.”

      I’ll think about it some more. Once again, I appreciate your insight into these things!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tackmyn Y. June 14, 2020 / 2:25 pm

        Ahh true, 明鏡国語辞典 does say 無理と知りながら! Hmm, I guess it depends. For example, a sentence 彼は無理矢理ドアをこじ開けた。sounds natural to me, and I feel the sentence implies that ‘he’ managed to open the door in the end (yet he had some trouble with it) so actually it wasn’t impossible. Well, to rinse the skull corner to corner is impossible indeed…
        And, I recommend you to look up 無理 in your dictionary. I guess there are 3 instances: ①unreasonable, ②difficult; impossible, ③forcible; excessive(I guess 〘自サ変〙 means 無理(を)する). It’s certain that I come up with “impossible” first when I try to translate 無理 (especially if it is 形容動詞), but in the case of 無理に / 無理矢理, they are “forcibly” rather than “knowing it’s impossible.” Or, suppose we have a sentence 彼に無理矢理サインさせた。, it can be “knowing it’s unreasonable”… I think “forcibly” works better though.
        Weeeell I hesitate to say this but, this suggestion isn’t vital…. just take this as one opinion that would deepen your knowledge.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Releska June 14, 2020 / 5:29 pm

          Thanks for that extra info! I’ve had another think and a look through my dictionaries, and I agree. I’ve made a change to the sentence with 無理矢理 in it, thanks again! (^_^) I definitely know to be more careful around that in the future

          Liked by 1 person

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