親愛なるあなたは火葬 || Want To Be Cremated

親愛なるあなたは火葬
shin’ai naru anata wa kasou
Want To Be Cremated

Vocals: Hatsune Miku (初音ミク)
Lyrics: 虻瀬 (Abuse)
Composed by: 虻瀬 (Abuse)
Upload Date: 16 November 2019

Requested by: Cinnamon Kitty
Watch the official video on YouTube!

Content warning: This song contains themes of gore and suicide

The English title is the official title. A literal translation of the Japanese title is ‘You, My Beloved, are Cremated.’

Incidentally, it looks like the composer has changed their name to 遠藤研. I’m not sure how to pronounce it, but their email address has ‘Hataken’ in it. It could be ‘Ken Endou’ – thanks for the suggestion, Roman Piper!


歌詞

吐いていて怪獣 嘔吐 out と
汚い子には触れちゃいけませんよ
それくらい俺にも解ります
お宅のおいたで眼が痛い
夜は 怪獣になりたいだって
怪獣ならば殺せるからって
壊獣にもなれないくせに
俺は夜歩いていた

参上 相対 平行線
狼男の晩餐会
本能 崩壊 精神性
存亡価値なんて元から無い
フラニーどうだい醜態で
クライマーなっても大丈夫
俺が居なくなってあげるよ
この場から

信仰対象は誰だっけ?
俺は怪獣だよ 知っておいて
唸っても唸っても聴こえない
そうか聴こえないなら仕方がないな
君は嘘が得意なようで
俺をその気にさせるのも楽勝で
いつの間にか同じ所でねんねして
フラニーは俺の子を孕んだそうだ

吐いていたフラニー 嘔吐 out と
産まれる子には神の慈悲をと
それだけ俺は願うだけ
ゾイは一体この場で何をしたんだ?
裂傷 残響 体液を
羊水 損壊 歪な子 こ?
怪獣になれそうなんだ
ねえ 壊獣になれそうなんだ

俺には無理だと本当にはもう理解してたろ?
それでも君がさ「居てくれ」と言うと
俺はさ 歩みを止めていたんだよ
愚かだ 殺せよ
静かに死にゆく動騒眺めて
俺だけ憂いに浸りに逝かせて
君がさ 愛した正しい家族を
俺のさ 眼に焼き付けて欲しい

卵巣は? 精巣は?
肝臓は? 肺胞は?
精神は? 本能は?
信仰は? 病んだな
乱性だ 崩性だ
壊性だ 凶性だ
本性だ 本性だ
本性だ 知ってる

惨状 包帯 平行線
狼男の晩餐会
本能 崩壊 精神性
存命価値なんて元から亡い
フラニーどうだい醜態で
フライヤーになっても大丈夫?
俺も居なくなってあげる
今ここで

信仰対象は誰だっけ
俺は壊獣だね知ってたんだ
唸っても唸っても聴こえない
そうか 本当に聴こえないんだ
生涯孤独の壊獣に
夢を見させてくれた君は
愛だか恋だかカタコンベ
俺の青春など懲戒だった

天にも地にも召されずに
花はフラニーの墓に咲いて
笑ってる笑ってる訳もなく
俺は信仰者に産まれ変わった
愛した殺したそれだけだ
それが 首を括る所以なんて
唸っても唸っても君だけは
俺を大好きだと言ってくれた

Romanisation

haiteite kaijuu outo out to
kitanai ko ni wa furecha ikemasen yo
sore kurai ore ni mo wakarimasu
otaku no oitade manako ga itai
yoru wa kaijuu ni naritai datte
kaijuu naraba koroseru kara tte
kaijuu ni mo narenai kuse ni
ore wa yoru aruite ita

sanjou soutai heikousen
ookami otoko no bansankai
honnou houkai seishinsei
sonbou kachi nante moto kara nai
furanii dou dai shuutai de
kuraimaa natte mo daijoubu
ore ga inaku natte ageru yo
kono ba kara

shinkou taishou wa dare dakke?
ore wa kaijuu da yo shitte oite
unatte mo unatte mo kikoenai
souka kikoenai nara shikata ga nai na
kimi wa uso ga tokui na you de
ore o sono ki ni saseru no mo rakushou de
itsu no ma ni ka onaji tokoro de nenne shite
furanii wa ore no ko o haranda sou da

haiteita furanii outo out to
umareru ko ni wa kami no jihi o to
soredake ore wa negau dake
zoi wa ittai kono ba de nani o shitan da?
resshou zankyou taieki o
yousui sonkai ibitsu na ko ko?
kaijuu ni nare sou nan da
nee kaijuu ni nare sou nan da

ore ni wa muri da to hontou ni wa mou rikai shitetaro?
soredemo kimi ga sa “itekure” to iu to
ore wa sa ayumi o tomete itan da yo
oroka da korose yo
shizuka ni shiniyuku dousou nagamete
ore dake urei ni hitari ni ikasete
kimi ga sa aishita tadashii kazoku o
ore no sa me ni yakitsukete hoshii

ransou wa? seisou wa?
kanzou wa? haihou wa?
seishin wa? honnou wa?
shinkou wa? yanda na
ransei da housei da
kaishou da kyousei da
honshou da honshou da
honshou da shitteru

sanjou houtai heikousen
ookami otoko no bansankai
honnou houkai seishinsei
zonmei kachi nante moto kara nai
furanii dou dai shuutai de
furaiyaa ni natte mo daijoubu?
ore mo inaku natte ageru
ima koko de

shinkou taishou wa dare dakke
ore wa kaijuu da ne shittetan da
unatte mo unatte mo kikoenai
sou ka hontou ni kikoenain da
shougai kodoku no kaijuu ni
yume o misasete kureta kimi wa
ai da ka koi da ka katakonbe
ore no seishun nado choukai datta

ten ni mo chi ni mo mesarezu ni
hana wa furanii no haka ni saite
waratteru waratteru wake mo naku
ore wa shinkousha ni umare kawatta
aishita koroshita sore dake da
sore ga kubi o kukuru yuen nante
unatte mo unatte mo kimi dake wa
ore o daisuki da to itte kureta

Translation

The monster throws up, vomiting it out.
Filthy children mustn’t touch it.
Even I knew that much.
My eyes hurt from your family’s mischief.
I wanted to be a monster at night
‘cuz if I was a monster I could kill them.
I couldn’t even turn into a monster
and yet I went walking at night.

Come calling. Confrontation. Parallel lines.
This is the werewolf’s banquet.
Instincts. Collapse. Spirituality.
Existence has no worth to begin with.
Franny, what do you think? Such a shameful sight.
It’s fine to become a climber.
For you, I’ll disappear
from this place.

Who is the target of their faith?
I’m a monster. Remember that.
I howl and howl, but you can’t hear me.
Really? If you can’t hear me, there’s nothing I can do about that.
You seem like a good liar
and you’re good at turning me on.
Before we knew it, it was nighty-night in the same bed.
It seems like Franny was pregnant with my child.

Franny was throwing up, vomiting it out.
All I was wishing was for God’s benevolence
for the child that would be born.
What on earth did Zoy do here?
Lacerations. Echoes. Bodily fluids.
Amniotic fluid. Damage. A twisted child. A child?
It seemed like they were gonna become a monster.
See, they looked like they’d become a destructive monster.

You already realised that it was impossible for me, right?
And yet you told me to be by your side.
You know, I’d stopped walking.
What an idiot. Kill me!
You silently die, and I watch you flounder.
Let me be the only one to die, lost in melancholy.
I want you to burn the proper family you loved
right into my eyes.

Ovaries? Testicles?
Liver? Lungs?
Mind? Instinct?
Faith? They’re all ill.
Riotous. Destructive.
Hostile. Wicked.
It’s their true nature, true nature,
true nature. I know.

A gruesome sight. Bandages. Parallel lines.
This is the werewolf’s banquet.
Instincts. Caving in. Spirituality.
Life has no value to begin with.
Franny, what do you think? Such a shameful sight.
Is it okay to become a flier?
For you, I’ll die as well
right here, right now.

Who’s the target of their faith?
I’m a monster. I knew it all along.
I howl and howl, but you can’t hear me.
Really? You actually can’t hear me.
I’m a destructive monster, alone for life,
and you showed me a dream.
In a catacomb of love or romance
my youth was disciplined.

Without ascending to heaven or earth,
the flowers bloom at Franny’s grave.
I’m laughing, laughing, without a reason.
I was reborn as a believer.
I loved and I killed, and that’s all there is to it.
To think, that’s why I hung myself.
I howled and howled, yet you
were the only one who said you loved me.

2 comments

  1. From my knowledge (and I may be wrong, being a LOT more amateur) the way to pronounce their name is Ken Endo(u)! since 遠藤 is commonly pronounced as えんどう and their name on youtube is ケン as of right now

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! They hadn’t changed their name to ケン when I originally published this translation, which is why I was confused…

      I’ve added some more info, we’ll see if they change their name again.

      Like

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