autre

autre

Vocals: うくな (Ukuna)
Lyrics: sasakusa
Arranged by: sasakusa
Album: one for all 【Official Site】
Circle: Lampcat
Event: Reitaisai 15 [RTS15]
Original Theme: Hartmann’s Youkai Girl [ハルトマンの妖怪少女]

Requested by: McGuys
Buy the album on Bandcamp!
Watch the official video here!

‘Autre’ is French for ‘other.’

I really enjoy this circle’s works, but what I like the most are the lyrics. There’s so many double meanings, and sasakusa’s really good at making the most of repeated sounds – one only has to look at the first line. Either way, I heartily encourage you to visit the circle’s Bandcamp page and buy both of their albums. Now that I’ve started, I hope to translate more of their music.

(See if you can spot the obligatory pebble/Koishi reference…)


内々ない 何もない 私は色を知らない殻
空 空っぽのような形だと 意味を悟ったのは
負う曖昧な異 兆しも見えない 声が傷つけ続けて
残ったものは殻もない 剥き出しの哀だけ

nai nai nai nani mo nai watashi wa iro o shiranai kara
kara karappo no you na katachi da to imi o satotta no wa
ou aimai na i kizashi mo mienai koe ga kizutsuke tsudzukete
nokotta mono wa kara mo nai mukidashi no ai dake

No insides, I’ve got nothing inside. I am a colourless shell.
I realised that meaning holds a hollow, hollow form.
I bear an ambiguous difference, yet the symptoms are unseen. My voice keeps wounding others.
All that remains is shell-less sorrow, laid bare.

孤の目を閉じた 見たくない世界と離れだす
きっと 境界を失ったら 最早自分にすらなれない

ko no me o tojita mitakunai sekai to hanaredasu
kitto kyoukai o ushinattara mohaya jibun ni sura narenai

I shut my solitary eye, detaching myself from a world I didn’t want to see.
Once I’ve lost my boundaries, then I can no longer even be myself.

もう三千万の景色 私は誰の中にも残らないなら
燦然世界が変わったとしても 私は底で変われない
問う判定外の意識探せど 誰の指にも止まらないから
瑩鉄の愛に依る この眼が映す自己には届かない

mou sanzen-man no keshiki watashi wa dare no naka ni mo nokoranai nara
sanzen sekai ga kawatta to shitemo watashi wa soko de kawarenai
tou hantei-gai no ishiki sagasedo dare no yubi ni mo tomaranai kara
eitetsu no ai ni yoru kono me ga utsusu jiko ni wa todokanai

I’ve seen countless landscapes, but if I won’t remain within anyone,
Then though the radiant world will change, I can’t change, deep down.
I search for consciousness separate from the judgement I question, but nobody’s fingers will land on me
so I depend on transparent love. It won’t reach the self reflected in my eyes.

廃獄這い傍に 明かした意図を振り撒いて進む
誘ったようなその跡は端へ続いていく
忘却の裏に零れない力も柵避けて
恐れ嫌ったような鏡にも何か意味はあるの

haigoku hai katawara ni akashita ito o furi maite susumu
sasotta you na sono ato wa hashi e tsudzuite iku
boukyaku no ura ni koborenai chikara mo shigarami sakete
osore kiratta you na kagami ni mo nanika imi wa aru no

While crawling through the deserted hell, I scatter divulged intentions and move on.
Those inviting marks continue to the edges.
Power, which will not spill from behind oblivion, avoids shackles.
Is there a meaning to this mirror, which I seemed to fear and hate?

わかりきってた 失えば二度と戻らぬこと
今、 透明が空白を満たして もう息すら出来ない

wakari kitteta ushinaeba nido to modoranu koto
ima, toumei ga kuuhaku o mitashite mou iki sura dekinai

I knew all too well—when I lose it, I won’t get it back.
Now, transparency fills this blank space. I can’t even breathe anymore.

不完全な個の果てに 晒した私の中が壊れていく
ただ、存在の劣を呪ったところで 誰と代われるわけもない
乞う対象は求めても埋まらぬ 認識不可の通りゃんせ
在り方を犯すこの痛みが消えて癒えることはない

fukanzen na ko no hate ni sarashita watashi no naka ga kowarete iku
tada, sonzai no retsu o norotta tokoro de dare to kawareru wake mo nai
kou taishou wa motometemo umaranu ninshiki fuka no tooryanse
arikata o okasu kono itami ga kiete ieru koto wa nai

This is the end of an imperfect individual—My exposed insides break away.
Still, I curse the inferiority of life but won’t take someone else’s place.
I search for someone to beg to but won’t be satisfied. Incognisant things pass on by.
My pain, which transgresses the way things should be, won’t vanish or be healed.

哀咽見えず留まらず愛されずまるで私は小石のよう
なら精々私がいなくなったところで何も世界は変わらない
“もしもこんな眼を持たず、普通に…”
なんて嗤える夢を見て
その残骸は灰の中消えていく 何処に行くかもわからずに
私の在処は…?

aietsu miezu tomarazu ai sarezu maru de watashi wa koishi no you
nara seizei watashi ga inaku natta tokoro de nani mo sekai wa kawaranai
“moshi mo konna me o motazu, futsuu ni…”
nante waraeru yume o mite
sono zangai wa hai no naka kiete iku doko ni iku ka mo wakarazu ni
watashi no basho wa…?

Choked with tears, I can’t see. I don’t stop. I won’t be loved. I’m like a pebble.
If so, then if I disappear, the world won’t change a bit.
“If I didn’t have this eye, I’d be normal…”
I dream such scornful dreams.
Their ruins disappear into ashes. Without knowing where I’m going…
Where do I belong…?