lumière de courage || Light of Courage

歌詞

陽の光届かぬ　地下深くのさらに奥
花も風も星も　此処には無い
それが当たり前で　美しさも愛しさも
知るはず無かった　あなたに会うまで

はじめからわかっていた　犯した過ちだけを
見えないふりしていた
この手を伸ばした瞬間　あなたに触れられそうで
気づいた時は遅すぎた

消せない色と匂い　私がみな奪った
嫉妬という仮面を免罪符のように貼り付け

「それ以上近づかないで」　妬ましいと　情けないと
光を見ることでさえも　諦めたんだ
白紙の未来と過去の罪　自分からは　動けなくて
どうせ傷つけるだけだと　総てから逃げたんだ

はじめこそ恐れ抱き　鬼と呼ばれ誇った
あなたを遠ざけていた
曲がらない勇気　それが　優しく強くあなたを
そこに在り続けさせた

紛い物弱き心　共に在る資格などない
なぜあなたと私はこんなにも違うのだろうか

「もう一度やり直せるなら」　もう届かない　もう届かない
焼け付く痛み耐えられず　心を閉ざした
堕ちて尚も忌み嫌われ　己が罪と知りながらも
この力も瞳も姿も　どうか見ないで

『彼の花　真に望むは　況んや　どうか偽りのない
あなたの笑顔と共に在りたい　傍にいるから』

輝く星のように　駆け巡る風のように
愛しい声は深く　私に道標を灯した

あなたの言葉一つが　私の中に種を撒き
少しだけ光が恋しく　なってしまった
細胞の一つ一つに　白緑のつぼみをつけ
少しだけ前に進もうと　私は咲いた

妬ましいほど真っ直ぐな　あなたを待つ　この地底で
苦しいだけじゃないことを　教えてくれた
いつか二人の躰が　動けなくなるその日まで
どんなに微かな光も受け止めるから

Romanisation

hi no hikari todokanu chika fukaku no sara ni oku
hana mo kaze mo hoshi mo koko ni wa nai
sore ga atarimae de utsukushisa mo itoshisa mo
shiru hazu nakatta anata ni au made

hajime kara wakatteita okashita ayamachi dake wo
mienai furi shiteita
kono te wo nobashita shunkan anata ni fureraresou de
kidzuita toki wa ososugita

kesenai iro to nioi watashi ga mina ubatta
shitto to iu kamen wo menzaifu no you ni haritsuke

“sore ijou chikadzukanaide” netamashii to nasakenai to
hikari wo miru koto de sae mo akirametan da
hakushi no mirai to kako no tsumi jibun kara wa ugokenakute
douse kizutsukeru dake da to subete kara nigetan da

hajime koso osore idaki oni to yobare hokotta
anata wo toozaketeita
magaranai yuuki sore ga yasashiku tsuyoku anata wo
soko ni ari tsudzukesaseta

magai mono yowaki kokoro tomo ni aru shikaku nado nai
naze anata to watashi wa konna ni mo chigau no darou ka

“mou ichido yarinaoseru nara” mou todokanai mou todokanai
yaketsuku itami taerarezu kokoro wo tozashita
ochite nao mo imikiraware onore ga tsumi to shiri nagara mo
kono chikara mo me mo sugata mo douka minaide

“ano hana makoto ni nozomu wa iwanya douka itsuwari no nai
anata no egao to tomo ni aritai soba ni iru kara”

kagayaku hoshi no you ni kakemeguru kaze no you ni
itoshii koe wa fukaku watashi ni michishirube wo tomoshita

anata no koto no ha hitotsu ga watashi no naka ni tane wo maki
sukoshi dake hikari ga koishiku natte shimatta
saibou no hitotsu hitotsu ni byakuroku no tsubomi wo tsuke
sukoshi dake mae ni susumou to watashi wa saita

netamashii hodo massugu na anata wo matsu kono chitei de
kurushii dake ja nai koto wo oshiete kureta
itsuka futari no karada ga ugokenaku naru sono hi made
donna ni kasuka na hikari mo uketomeru kara

Translation

Even further inside the depths of the underground, where the sun’s rays do not reach,
There are no flowers, no wind, and no stars.
That was obvious, and I shouldn’t have even
Known beauty or love, until I met you.

I knew it from the start, though I pretended I couldn’t see
Only the error I had made.
The moment I reached out my hands, it looked like I would be felt by you.
And by the time I realised it, it was too late.

Those inerasable colours and scents… I snatched them all away.
I stick the mask called ‘jealousy’ onto my face so I can indulge in it.

“Don’t come any closer!” I cry, jealously and pitiably…
I gave up on even seeing light.
My future is a blank sheet, and my past full of sins. I could not move of my own will.
Thinking that I’ll just hurt someone anyway, I ran away from everything.

Certainly, to begin with, I embraced fear, and was proud of being called a ‘demon.’
I kept you away.
I allowed that unwavering courage – you, who are kind and strong –
To continue to exist, over there.

My weak, sham heart has no capabilities that exist alongside it.
I wonder why you and I are so different…

“If we do it over from the start again…” Those words won’t reach you anymore.
Unable to withstand this burning pain, I sealed off my heart.
I fell and I was loathed, whilst aware of my sins.
Please, don’t look at my power, my eyes, my body…

“The thing I truly wish for is that flower. Please, I don’t want it to be fake.
I want to exist together with your smiling face. I’m by your side, so…”

Like the shining stars, like the wind as it races about,
Your tender voice lit a guiding lamp deep inside me.

Just a single one of your words sowed a seed inside me.
I began to yearn for the light, just a little…
My cells, one by one, began to grow pale green buds,
And thinking I’d like to move forward, just a bit, I bloomed.

I await you, who are so straightforward I’m jealous, in the depths of the earth.
You taught me things that aren’t just pain.
Until the day when our bodies stop moving,
I will catch even the faintest ray of light.