追跡逃避思考に見る少女Nの寂寞 || The Loneliness of Girl N, Seen in Thoughts of Pursuit and Escape

日本語

あるところに　逃げてばかりの　女の子が居ました
つまり　私

最初は小さな自尊心と
右手くらいの怠慢がセットでしたが
いつの間にか背負いきれない塊がのし掛かってました
なんちゃって

実際のところ
このままでいいやとか
言い訳唱えて現状維持
逃げてるだけ
変えたくないめんどくさいって
および足後ろ足返して
ハァ、だる

どこからか呼ばれたような気がするけど
そもそも私をわざわざ呼び止めるような友達居ないって、アレ
振り向くとそこには見知らぬ男の子

追いかけっこ　しましょう

いやあんた　誰？

あるところの　逃げてばかりの　女の子のすぐ後ろ
追いかけるよ　手が触れるよ　お逃げなさい
逃がさない

息が上がる
心臓揺れる
心も揺れる

あるところの　にげてばかりの
女の子はずっと逃げてきた
夢も　今も　過去も　今日も　明日も
全部の自分を
だが
一度も追われたことは無かったことに気付いたのでした
なんちゃって

今まで私は何から逃げていた？
突然よく分からなくなってきた
あいつは誰？　私の敵？
思考が廻る
ねえ教えて
あなたは誰？
それは

ずっと君を見てた　何でも知ってるから
ええ　それただのストーカーじゃ……
そんなことはございません　私はあなたのことを愛しているんですから
いや　理由になってないって

あるところの　逃げてばかりの　女の子の胸の音
脈打つけど　煌くけど　高鳴るけど
つかまえた

そこに居たのは　泣いた笑顔の　よくｎ―――

微かに漂う香り　嗚呼

(剥離する世界、夢の終わり、夏空の雪)

あるところの　逃げてばかりの　女の子は
くすりと笑った
逃げることと追うことはなんだかそっくりで

クルリと翻した

こんどはわたしね

Romanisation

aru tokoro ni nigete bakari no onna no ko ga imashita
tsumari watashi

saisho wa chiisana jisonshin to
migite kurai no taiman ga setto deshita ga
itsu no ma ni ka seoi kirenai katamari ga noshi kakattemashita
nan chatte

jissai no tokoro
kono mama de ii ya toka
iiwake tonaete genjou iji
nigeteru dake
kaetakunai mendokusai tte
oyobi ashi ushiroashi kaeshite
haa, daru

doko kara ka yobareta you na ki ga suru kedo
somo somo watashi o waza waza yobi tomeru you na tomodachi inai tte, are
furi muku to soko ni wa mishiranu otoko no ko

oi kakekko shimashou

iya anta dare?

aru tokoro no nigete bakari no onna no ko no sugu ushiro
oi kakeru yo te ga fureru yo onigenasai
nigasanai

iki ga agaru
shinzou yureru
kokoro mo yureru

aru tokoro no nigete bakari no
onna no ko wa zutto nigete kita
yume mo ima mo kako mo kyou mo asu mo
zenbu no jibun o
daga
ichido mo owareta koto wa nakatta koto ni kidzuita no deshita
nanchatte

ima made watashi wa nani kara nigete ita?
totsuzen yoku wakaranaku natte kita
aitsu wa dare? watashi no teki?
shikou ga meguru
nee oshiete
anata wa dare?
sore wa

zutto kimi o miteta nandemo shitteru kara
ee sore tada no sutookaa ja…
sonna koto wa gozaimasen watashi wa anata no koto o aishite iru ndesu kara
iya riyuu ni nattenai tte

aru tokoro no nigete bakari no onna no ko no mune no oku
myaku utsu kedo kirameku kedo takanaru kedo
tsukamaeta

soko ni ita no wa naita egao no yoku n…

kasuka ni tadayou kaori aa

(hakuri suru sekai, yume no owari, natsuzora no yuki)

aru tokoro no nigete bakari no onna no ko wa
kusuri to waratta
nigeru koto to ou koto wa nandaka sokkuri de

kururi to hirugaeshita

kondo wa watashi ne

Translation

A girl who kept running away was living in a certain place.
Basically, it’s me.

To start with, I had a set: my small self-esteem
and enough procrastination to fill my right hand
yet before long, it became a bundle too big to handle.
Just kidding!

Actually,
I recite the same excuses and stick to the status quo:
“I’m fine like this.”
All I’m doing is running away.
I don’t want to change, since it’s too much of a bother.
Give me back my legs.
Hah, I’m tired.

It felt like someone was calling from somewhere
but I don’t have any friends who’d stop me on purpose anyway.
When I looked back, I saw an unfamiliar boy.

Let’s play tag.

Hold on, who are you?

He was right behind that girl from somewhere, who kept running away.
I’m chasing you. I’ve got my hands on you. Run away.
I won’t let you escape.

Her breathing gets heavier.
Her heart trembles.
Her spirit trembles, too.

That girl from somewhere, who kept running away,
had always run away until now.
Running from dreams, now, the past, today, and yesterday
and all of her selves.
And yet
she realised she had never been chased before.
Just kidding!

What had I been running from?
All of a sudden, I didn’t really know.
Who’s he? Is he my enemy?
My thoughts spin.
Come on, tell me:
who are you?
Well…

“I’ve been looking at you all along. I know everything.”
Hmm… isn’t that just describing a common stalker?
“That’s not what I am. After all, I’m in love with you.”
No, that’s not a proper justification.

That girl from somewhere kept running away. Though her heart
was pounding, sparkling, and throbbing
she was caught.

And there, with a smiling face…

A fragrance was faintly drifting. Ah…

(In a detached world, at the end of the dream, with snow in the summer sky.)

That girl from somewhere, who kept running away,
let out a chuckle
since running and chasing are two sides of the same coin.

They suddenly turned around.

I’m next.