童貞三十歳 || 30-Year-Old Virgin

童貞三十歳
doutei sanjuu-sai
30-Year-Old Virgin

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Lyrics: 梨本P (Nashimoto-P)
Composed by: 梨本P (Nashimoto-P)
Upload date: 23 February 2017

Requested by: BluKirb
Watch the official video on YouTube!

Warning: This song contains sexual themes.

Update (9 February 2022): Translator’s note added. Thanks BluKirb!


歌詞

いい歳こいたおっさん一人でブツブツしてる
聞いても無いのに言い訳重ねてドギマギしてる
一発お店で抜かれてごらんと皆言うけど
生粋のヘタレだし金も無し

これでいいのか三十歳
これでいいのだ三十歳
パパさんあんたも立派な子持ち
かつての仲間もぶっこんで
いつの間にやらしけこんで
気づけば周りにゃ僕一人

童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤラないまんまでチンコはもげる
童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤレないまんまで日はまた昇る

街を歩けばいちゃつきカップルワラワラしてる
揃いも揃ってこっちを指差しゲラゲラしてる
笑ってくれたら笑ってくれたでそれは良いけど
ドン引きするのだけはやめてよね

これでいいのか三十歳
いいわけねえだろ三十歳
同級生から視線が辛い
いつまで経ってもこんなんで
マスばっかかいて逃げ込んで
人生ミコスリ半ダッチ

童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤラないまんまでチンコは腐る
童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤレないまんまで日はまた暮れる

ああ

これでいいのか三十歳
これでいいのだ三十歳
上から目線の慰めお慈悲
みっともないまま齢とって
進展無いまま老けこんで
シコってばかりの我が人生
このまま死ねぬ

童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤラないまんまでチンコはもげる
童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤレないまんまで日はまた昇る
童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
童貞三十歳 童貞三十歳
ヤレないまんまで日はまた暮れる
んでまた昇る

Romanisation

ii toshi koita ossan hitori de butsubutsu shiteru
kiite mo nai noni ii wake kasanete dogimagi shiteru
ippatsu o mise de nukarete goran to mina iu kedo
kissui no hetare dashikin mo nashi

kore de ii no ka sanjuusai
kore de ii no da sanjuusai
papa-san anta mo rippa na komochi
katsute no nakama mo bukkonde
itsu no ma ni yara shikekonde
kidzukeba mawari nya boku hitori

doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yaranai manma de chinko wa mogeru
doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yarenai manma de hi wa mata noboru

machi o arukeba ichatsuki kappuru warawara shiteru
soroi mo sorotte kocchi o yubisashi geragera shiteru
waratte kuretara waratte kuretade sore wa ii kedo
don hiki suru no dake wa yamete yo ne

kore de ii no ka sanjuusai
ii wakenee daro sanjuusai
doukyuusei kara shisen ga tsurai
itsu made tatte mo konnan de
masu bakka kaite nigekonde
jinsei mikosuri han dacchi

doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yaranai manma de chinko wa kusaru
doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yarenai manma de hi wa mata kureru

aa

kore de ii no ka sanjuusai
kore de ii no da sanjuusai
ue kara mesen no nagusame o jihi
mitto mo nai mama toshi totte
shinten nai mama fukekonde
shikotte bakari no waga jinsei
kono mama shinenu

doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yaranai manma de chinko wa mogeru
doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yarenai manma de hi wa mata noboru
doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
doutei sanjuusai doutei sanjuusai
yarenai manma de hi wa mata kureru
nde mata noboru

Translation

I’m middle-aged and old enough to know better, grumbling along.
Nobody asked me, but I keep apologising and get embarrassed.
Everyone tells me to pay to do it somewhere
but I’m penniless and lazy to the bone.

Can things stay like this? I’m 30.
Things can stay like this. I’m 30.
You’re a dad now. Gee, how wonderful.
They all threw away their old friends
and got shacked up
and before I knew it, I was all alone.

30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
my dick will fall off, still brand new.
30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
the sun rises again, and I still can’t do it.

When I walk the streets, flirty couples are squirming along.
Every last one of them points at me and chuckles.
I don’t care if you laugh,
just don’t shrink away from me.

Can things stay like this? I’m 30.
No they can’t! I’m 30.
The gazes of my classmates are hard to bear.
No matter how much time passes, it’s the same.
I just jerk off and run away,
Life is an early finishing Dutch. (1)

30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
my dick will rot, still brand new.
30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
the sun sets again, and I still can’t do it.

Ah…

Can things stay like this? I’m 30.
Things can stay like this. I’m 30.
Looks of comfort and mercy come from above.
I keep getting older and I’m still a disgrace.
I get old, having made no progress.
I’m living a masturbatory life.
I can’t die like this.

30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
my dick will fall off, still brand new.
30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
the sun rises again, and I still can’t do it.
30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
30-year-old virgin, 30-year-old virgin,
the sun sets again, and I still can’t do it,
and the sun rises again.


Translator’s note

(1) ダッチ (dacchi, Dutch) could be a reference to ‘Dutch wife’ (i.e. sex doll), or possibly a dakimakura.

3 comments

  1. Thank you so much for translating my request!!
    I always knew the title translated to 30-year-old virgin but even I was surprised to see how “unique” the lyrics were haha
    And I noticed you seemed a bit uncertain/confused about Dutch translating to a sex doll, I believe that dutch in this sentence is short for “Dutch Wife”, a slang term for a sex doll, but could also refer to a Dakimakura
    Again, thanks! ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome! (^_^) I always feel awkward translating this sort of stuff, but I thought I’d just try and capture the spirit of the original.

      And yes – thanks for the comment about Dutch. I was thinking about whether to add it as a proper translator’s note, and before I knew it I’d posted the translation with the note still in there (^_^); I’ve cleaned it up now.

      Like

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