それでもこのままの思考でありたい
sore demo kono mama no shikou de aritai
I wanna keep thinking like this
Vocals: Rana
Lyrics: 溝野あわ (Awa Dobuno)
Composed by: 溝野あわ (Awa Dobuno)
Upload date: 3 August 2020
Requested by: sinist3rblah
Watch the official video on YouTube!
Content warning: Suicide themes
Please contact your local mental health hotline if you or someone you know is in crisis.
歌詞
生まれつきの感性が完成しましたよ
どうですか
そうですか
不快なくらい
もういらない
愛情を今更
なんですか、
これ
足りない？満たない？少ない？
わかった
いらない？苦しい？たくさん？
わかった
あれ？ねえ、こっち？どっち？
わからないよ
期待っばっか膨らまして
ねえ少しは考えてみて
あなたが一番損してるの
さあ 溶けて無くなってしまおう
全部無かったんだよ
そう これは意味もなくただ残った跡だから
はじめまして ママですよ
生まれた気分は
どうですか
そうですか
ところでその、
何年の何月の何日なんですか
今
は？
足りない？満たない？少ない？
何が？
いらない？苦しい？たくさん？
どこが？
まさか そんな だって あれは
いや気のせいだ
私こんなんだったっけ
頭がずっと忙しいままで
ねえやだ 邪魔をしないでよ
ああ 溶けて無くなってしまいたい
縋り付いたことすら
もう忘れてしまって
恥もきっと捨てちゃったみたい
私なりに私と一緒にいた
それでもこの思考は流されてく
次から次へと壊されていけば
どうでもいいことだけ染み付くの
さあ 溶けて無くなってしまおう
全部無かったんだよ
そう これは意味もなくただ残った跡だから
意味は
ないの
帰ろう
もう帰ろう
歩こう
行こう
おかえり
Romanisation
umaretsuki no kansei ga kansei shimashita yo
dou desu ka
sou desu ka
fukai na kurai
mou iranai
aijou o imasara
nan desu ka,
kore
tarinai? mitanai? sukunai?
wakatta
iranai? kurushii? takusan?
wakatta
are? nee, kocchi? docchi?
wakaranai yo
kitai bbakka fukuramashite
nee sukoshi wa kangaete mite
anata ga ichiban son shiteru no
saa tokete naku natte shimaou
zenbu nakatta nda yo
sou kore wa imi mo naku tada nokotta ato dakara
hajimemashite mama desu yo
umareta kibun wa
dou desu ka
sou desu ka
tokoro de sono,
nan nen no nan gatsu no nan nichi nan desu ka
ima
ha?
tarinai? mitanai? sukunai?
nani ga?
iranai? kurushii? takusan?
doko ga?
masaka sonna datte are wa
iya ki no sei da
watashi konnan dattakke
atama ga zutto isogashi ima made
nee yada jama o shinaide yo
aa tokete naku natte shimaitai
sugari tsuita koto sura
mou wasurete shimatte
haji mo kitto sutechatta mitai
watashi nari ni watashi to issho ni ita
sore demo kono shikou wa nagasareteku
tsugi kara tsugi e to kowasarete ikeba
dou demo ii koto dake shimitsuku no
saa tokete naku natte shimaou
zenbu nakatta nda yo
sou kore wa imi mo naku tada nokotta ato dakara
imi wa
nai no
kaerou
mou kaerou
arukou
ikou
okaeri
Translation
I’ve perfected my natural sensitivity.
How about it?
Is that right?
It’s almost uncomfortable.
I don’t need it anymore,
this love that’s come too late.
What is this?
What is it?
Not enough? Not satisfied? Too few?
Got it.
Unneeded? It hurts? Too much?
Got it.
That? Hey, this? Which?
I don’t know.
My expectations grow too big.
Hey, think about it for a bit.
You’re the one who’s lost the most.
Well, let’s melt and become nothing,
like it all never existed.
That’s right, I’m just a mark left behind without any meaning.
Nice to meet you, I’m your mother.
You’ve been born,
how does it feel?
Is that right?
By the way, um
what’s the year, the month, the day
right now?
Huh?
Not enough? Not satisfied? Too few?
What?
Unneeded? It hurts? Too much?
Where?
That’s hard to believe. After all
it’s just in your mind.
Is that what things were like for me?
My mind’s always been a hive of activity.
Hey, I can’t stand it. Don’t get in my way.
Ah, I want to melt and become nothing.
It’ll be like forgetting
to hang on
and casting away all my shame.
I stuck by myself in my own way
yet those thoughts are being washed away.
If things are being destroyed, one after the other,
then the only things seeping in won’t be worth my time.
Well, let’s melt and become nothing,
like it all never existed.
That’s right, I’m just a mark left behind without any meaning.
There’s no
meaning.
Let’s head back.
C’mon, let’s head back.
Let’s walk.
Let’s go.
Welcome home.
Releska 
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