大人
Otona
Adult
Vocals: カンザキイオリ (Iori Kanzaki)
Lyrics: カンザキイオリ (Iori Kanzaki)
Composed by: カンザキイオリ (Iori Kanzaki)
Arranged by: カンザキイオリ (Iori Kanzaki), 花村智志 (Hanamura Satoshi)
Album: 不器用な男
Release date: 11 August 2021
Requested by: Shiiraa
Watch the official video on YouTube!
歌詞
ある朝目覚めると俺は大人になっていた
声も枯れてシワも増えて
目の下にクマが出来ている
少しばかりの筋肉と肩幅も少しついたらしい
部屋の隅に転がる靴下
その隣で異臭を出すゴミ袋
「あの頃は本当にごめん」
そう言ってくれた昔のやつら
あの時裏切ったのはあいつじゃなくて俺だったじゃないか
なのになかったことにして「なあ元気か？」って何言ってんだよ
癒えてない傷に蓋ができるほど俺は大人にはなっちゃいない
俺は偏屈な人間なのに
上司はいつでも飯を奢った
うまそうに飯を食う俺を上司はいつだって可愛がった
恩返しをしたい
そう思う時に限って手遅れだ
恩を売るだけ売り付けて一体何で愛を伝えりゃいい
過ぎ去ったもの全てが許せない
夢よ早く覚めろ
大人になって分かったことなんて単純だ
夏は暑くて冬は寒いこと
妄想だって思ったこの感情の全てに
名前があるということ
死ぬとか生きるとかそんなことより明日の飯どうしよう
感受性なんてもの捨て去って今は今に死に物狂い
休みは一人で風俗行って安い居酒屋で吐くほど飲んで
会社で出来た仲間と下ネタ言い合う一週間
あるとき突然涙が出てきて一歩も前に歩けなくて
誰もが俺を心配して慰めてくれてなんて俺は幸せ者だ
幸せ者だ だから早く夢から覚めろ
立ち止まる勇気を認めない
自分が心底嫌いだ
大人になって分かったことなんて単純だ
夢は叶うこと努力は報われること
一人は寂しいこと二人は気まずいこと
人間は難しいこと
やっぱりそうだよな
もう二度と子供には戻れないんだ
大人たちが犯罪を起こす理由がやっと分かったよ
苦しくて寂しい夜は誰にだってあるよ
「あの頃は本当にごめん」
そう言ってくれた昔のやつら
あの時裏切ったのはあいつじゃなくて俺だったじゃないか
でも嬉しいよ
だって俺はずっとあいつを気にしてた
大人になるまでずっと
子供のままでずっと
シワが出来るまでずっと 髪が痛むまでずっと
肌が荒れるまでずっと 息が切れるほどずっと
時間が全てを解決するって実際ある話なんだな
俺は大人なんだ だから言うよ
ごめんなさい 会いたかったよ
大人になって分かったことなんて単純だ
人は醜くて人は優しいこと
心の奥に眠る憎悪が剥がれ落ちても
何も変わらない
大人になって分かったんだ
二度とは戻れないんだ
Romanisation
aru asa mezameru to ore wa otona ni natte ita
koe mo karete shiwa mo fuete
me no shita ni kuma ga dekite iru
sukoshi bakari no kinniku to katahaba mo sukoshi tsuita rashii
heya no sumi ni korogaru kutsushita
sono tonari de ishuu o dasu gomibukuro
“ano koro wa hontou ni gomen”
sou itte kureta mukashi no yatsura
ano toki uragitta no wa aitsu ja nakute ore datta ja nai ka
na no ni nakatta koto ni shite “naa genki ka?” tte nani itten da yo
ietenai kizu ni futa ga dekiru hodo ore wa otona ni wa nacchainai
ore wa henkutsu na ningen na no ni
joushi wa itsu demo meshi o ogotta
umasou ni meshi o kuu ore o joushi wa itsu datte kawaigatta
ongaeshi o shitai
sou omou toki ni kagitte teokure da
on o uru dake uri tsukete ittai nande ai o tsutaerya ii
sugisatta mono subete ga yurusenai
yume yo hayaku samero
otona ni natte wakatta koto nante tanjun da
natsu wa atsukute fuyu wa samui koto
mousou datte omotta kono kanjou no subete ni
namae ga aru to iu koto
shinu toka ikiru toka sonna koto yori ashita no meshi dou shiyou
kanjousei nante mono sutesatte ima wa ima ni shi ni monogurui
yasumi wa hitori de fuuzoku itte yasui izakaya de haku hodo nonde
kaisha de dekita nakama to shita neta ii au isshuukan
aru toki totsuzen namida ga dete kite ippo mo mae ni arukenakute
daremo ga ore o shinpai shite nagusamete kurete nante ore wa shiawase mono da
shiawase mono da dakara hayaku yume kara samero
tachidomaru yuuki o mitomenai
jibun ga shinsoko kirai da
otona ni natte wakatta koto nante tanjun da
yume wa kanau koto doryoku wa mukuwareru koto
hitori wa sabishii koto futari wa kimazui koto
ningen wa muzukashii koto
yappari sou da yo na
mou nido to kodomo ni wa modorenai nda
otona-tachi ga hanzai o okosu riyuu ga yatto wakatta yo
kurushikute sabishii yoru wa dare ni datte aru yo
“ano koro wa hontou ni gomen”
sou itte kureta mukashi no yatsura
ano toki uragitta no wa aitsu ja nakute ore datta ja nai ka
demo ureshii yo
datte ore wa zutto aitsu o ki ni shiteta
otona ni naru made zutto
kodomo no mama de zutto
shiwa ga dekiru made zutto kami ga itamu made zutto
hada ga areru made zutto iki ga kireru hodo zutto
jikan ga subete o kaiketsu suru tte jissai aru hanashi nan da na
ore wa otona nan da dakara iu yo
gomennasai aitakatta yo
otona ni natte wakatta koto nante tanjun da
hito wa minikute hito wa yasashii koto
kokoro no oku ni nemuru zouo ga hagare ochitemo
nani mo kawaranai
otona ni natte wakatta nda
nido to wa modorenai nda
Translation
When I woke up one morning, I’d become an adult.
My voice was husky, I had more wrinkles
and there were bags beneath my eyes.
I had just a bit more muscle, and my shoulders seemed broader.
My socks were scattered in a corner of my room
and a bin was next to them. It stank.
“I’m so sorry for back then.”
People from the past said those words to me
but wasn’t I the one who betrayed them instead?
Still, they acted like it never happened and asked if I was okay. What are you on about?
I’m not enough of an adult to put the lid on wounds that haven’t healed.
I’m such an oddball
but my boss always bought me food.
While I was enjoying the meal, they’d always treat me kindly.
I want to pay them back
but whenever I think that way, it’s always too late.
I brush it off as forcing a favour. How should I get my love across?
I can’t let go of things that have passed.
Hurry and wake up.
It’s simple to say what I learned after growing up.
Summer is hot, winter is cold
and all these feelings, which I thought were delusions
have names.
Rather than worrying about whether I’ll live or die, what am I gonna eat tomorrow?
I throw away sensitivity and struggle in the present, unafraid of death.
On our break, we go to the red-light district and drink till we spew at a cheap bar.
My work friends and I spend the week telling dirty jokes to each other.
Once, I suddenly started crying and couldn’t take a single step.
Everyone worried about me and comforted me. I was so happy.
I was so happy, so I want to hurry and wake up.
I won’t admit I have the courage to stand still.
I hate it from the bottom of my heart.
It’s simple to say what I learned after growing up.
Dreams will come true, effort will be rewarded,
it’s lonely being alone, being together is awkward
and humans are complicated.
I guess that’s right
I can never go back to being a kid.
I’ve finally realised why adults commit crimes.
Everyone has nights when they hurt and are lonely.
“I’m so sorry for back then.”
People from the past said those words to me
but wasn’t I the one who betrayed them instead?
Still, I’m happy.
That’s why they were always in my mind.
Until I become an adult
I’ll always stay a child.
Until I get wrinkles, until my hair starts falling out
until my skin gets rough, until my breath grows ragged.
They say that time solves everything, and that make sense.
I’m an adult, which is why I can say that.
Sorry, I wanted to see you.
It’s simple to say what I learned after growing up.
People are hideous, people are gentle
and even if the hatred resting in their hearts peels off
nothing will change.
After becoming an adult I realised
that there’s no going back.
Releska 
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