エクソシズム || Exorcism

ハナから誰にも好かれちゃいないよ
そんなこととうに分かっている
私から逃げるために
祈りを乞うていることも分かっている
覚悟もないまま　君の前には
現れるべきじゃなかった
爪弾いてよ　蔑んでよ
私の人生に救いなどなかった

間違いだらけのこの街で
ただ1人の正しい君のことを
守りたいと思ったんだ
ただそれだけさ
それだけのことなんだ

but I’m your devil
この身体が作り物ならば…

どんなに君を愛したって
この腕は全てを傷つけるばかり
抱きしめたつもりで君の心の傷抉っていた
失って気づいた　I need, I need you

いつから君しか見えない自分の目を
甘受していたんだろう
異常な状態だって何度も何度も
自分に言い聞かす
それでもどうして　この視界には
君しか映らないんだろう
爪弾いてよ　蔑んでよ
私の人生に救いなどなかった

間違い探しをしたって
自分が一番間違った存在なんだ
どこにいても何をしても
また君のことを救いたいと思った

but I’m your devil
この心が作り物ならば…

姿形や生まれや境遇
全て君を愛すことを否定している
目を瞑ればきっと
君はもうここにはいないこと
嘘だと言ってよ　I need I need you

君が救いを求めることが
いま手を差し伸べることが
とんな未来を招くことになるのだろう
心偽らず　ただ愛していたいよ
幸せと君を結ばせてほしいのに

どんなに君を愛したって
この腕は全てを傷つけるばかり
抱きしめたつもりで君の心の傷抉っていた
失って気づいたI need you

いっそ夢なら夢のままで
傷つくのはわたしー人でいいから
二度と君に会えない
それでいいと言い聞かせている
心に仕舞った　I need, I need you

Hana kara dare ni mo sukarecha inai yo
Sonna koto touni wakatteiru
Watashi kara nigeru tame ni
Inori o kouteiru koto mo wakatteiru
Kakugo mo nai mama kimi no mae ni wa
Arawareru beki ja nakatta
Tsumabuite yo sagesunde yo
Watashi no jinsei ni sukui nado nakatta

Machigai darake no kono machi de
Tada hitori no tadashii kimi no koto o
Mamoritai to omottanda
Tada sore dake sa
Sore dake no koto nanda

but I’m your devil
Kono karada ga tsukurimono naraba…

Donna ni kimi o aishitatte
Kono ude wa subete o kizutsukeru bakari
Dakishimeta tsumori de kimi no kokoro no kizu egutteita
Ushinatte kizuita I need, I need you

Itsu kara kimi shika mienai jibun no me o
Kanju shiteitandarou
Ijou na joutai datte nando mo nando mo
Jibun ni iikikasu
Sore demo doushite kono shikai ni wa
Kimi shika utsuranai ndarou
Tsumabuite yo sagesunde yo
Watashi no jinsei ni sukui nado nakatta

Machigai sagashi o shitatte
Jibun ga ichiban machigatta sonzai nanda
Doko ni ite mo nani o shite mo
Mata kimi no koto o sukuitai to omotta

but I’m your devil
Kono kokoro ga tsukurimono naraba…

Sugata katachi ya umare ya kyouguu
Subete kimi o aisu koto o hitei shiteiru
Me o tsumureba kitto
Kimi wa mou koko ni wa inai koto
Uso da to itte yo I need, I need you

Kimi ga sukui o motomeru koto ga
Ima te o sashinoberu koto ga
Donna mirai o maneku koto ni naru no darou
Kokoro itsuwarazu tada aishiteitai yo
Shiawase to kimi o musubasete hoshii no ni

Donna ni kimi o aishitatte
Kono ude wa subete o kizutsukeru bakari
Dakishimeta tsumori de kimi no kokoro no kizu egutteita
Ushinatte kizuita I need you

Isso yume nara yume no mama de
Kizutsuku no wa watashi hitori de ii kara
Nido to kimi ni aenai
Sore de ii to iikikaseteiru
Kokoro ni shimatta I need, I need you

I’ve never been loved by anyone.
I knew that all along.
I know, too, that they’re all praying
to escape from me.
I shouldn’t have shown my face before you
when I wasn’t ready.
Play me as you will. Look down on me.
My life was always beyond saving.

In streets full of mistakes
you were the only right one
and I wanted to protect you.
That’s all it is,
that’s all there was to it.

But I’m your devil.
If my body is artificial…

No matter how much I love you
all my arms do is hurt everything.
I just wanted to hug you, but I was gouging at the wounds in your heart.
I lost you then realised I need, I need you.

How long have I been putting up with these eyes of mine
that can only see you?
I tell myself time after time
that something’s wrong with me
but why is it that all I can see in front of me
is you?
Play me as you will. Look down on me.
My life was always beyond saving.

I search for mistakes
but I’m the biggest mistake of them all.
No matter where I am, no matter what I do
I just wanted to help you again.

But I’m your devil.
If my body is artificial…

Appearances, birth and circumstances
all deny me loving you.
If I close my eyes
you’re no longer here.
I say it’s a lie. I need, I need you.

I wonder what sort of future will come
from you asking for help
and from me reaching out.
My heart is true. I just want to love you
though I wish someone would join you and happiness together.

No matter how much I love you
all my arms do is hurt everything.
I just wanted to hug you, but I was gouging at the wounds in your heart.
I lost you then realised I need, I need you.

If it’s a dream, I’d rather it stay that way.
I’m fine with being the only one who gets hurt.
I can never see you again
and I told myself I was okay with that.
I hid my feelings deep in my heart. I need, I need you.