えーりん先生の蓬莱ヨガ教室 || Ms. Eirin’s Hourai Yoga Classroom

Dancing Phantasmagoriaえーりん先生の蓬莱ヨガ教室 ~Mambo Ver.~
eerin-sensei no hourai yoka kyoushitsu ~Mambo Ver.~
Ms. Eirin’s Hourai Yoga Classroom ~Mambo ver.~

Narration: Roverta (Eirin), Dominyan (Reisen)
Arranged by: Sakana Nakasako
Album: Dancing Phantasmagoria
Event: C86

Another Machikado-Mapoze translation. This one is the second and final ‘vocal’ track from ‘Dancing Phantasmagoria.’ It’s a fun yoga session starring Eirin and her poor sidekick Reisen. Read the dialogue in your best Wii Fit Trainer voice… The exercises seem to be theoretically possible, except for maybe the second-last one. I just… can’t visualise that one working out. Either way, try them at your own risk!

Also, general translation notes are at the bottom this time. I left out the romaji because it’s not really a song, it’s a dialogue.

Key: Eirin, Reisen, Both.

皆さんこんにちは インストラクターの八意永琳です
体の内側から美しく 健康になっていきましょう

Hello everyone. I’m your instructor for today, Eirin Yagokoro.
Today, we’re going to do some “Hourai Yoga” together.
By working out those parts of your body you don’t normally use,
let’s get you looking good and feeling great, from the inside out!

しっかり脇腹を伸ばして… 今度は反対側にも…
ウドンゲ あなたは90度までいきなさい90度

Straighten up your back and stand up straight.
Then, put your palms together and stick them out just above your head.
Slowly bend your body sideways – this is the “Crescent Moon Pose.”
Now, stretch out to the side, tightly… bend in the other direction this time…
Udonge! I want you to form a 90 degree angle! 90 degrees!

B-but master! 90 degrees is impossible… uh!?

オッホホホホホ ちょっと相手が失敗してしまいましたが

Ohohohohoho… my partner may have ended up failing,
but everybody! Please exercise without straining yourselves too much! ♪

さて次は 両足を伸ばして座り 片足を曲げて

Now, for our next exercise, please sit with both legs stretched out in front of you.
Next, bend one leg, and reach for the arch of your foot with both hands.
Whilst stretching your sides straight ahead, raise your leg and slowly stretch out your knee: this is called the “Heron Pose.”

Stay stretched out… hold this pose for a few seconds more… Udonge!
You’re not a heron, you’re a hare!
What!? W-why did you hit me!?

いや無理です それ!

The next exercise is the “Half-Moon Pose.”
Stand in a star-shaped position – like this: ’.’
Next, turn your right foot outwards.
Whilst throwing your upper body to the right, raise your left side.
Balance on the floor with your right foot.
Then… take a deep breath…
and aim for the player character! !
No, that’s impossible! Impossible!

続いて うつぶせに寝て両膝を曲げ
手で足先を掴みます 足を押さえて上体を反らす
余裕がある人は その状態から両耳を大回転!
師匠 み 耳を引っ張らないでぇ!!? ウッ!?
あらあらあら 普通の人はウサ耳は
付いていませんでしたね 失礼しました

Continuing on… whilst lying on your stomach, bend both knees.
Grab your ankles, and hold your feet down. Then, bend your upper body back.
This is called the “Frog Pose.”
For those who are… so inclined, from this position, spin those ears right around!

Spin them, spin them! Spin them more and more!!
Master, p-please don’t pull my ears!!? Uh!?
Oh my, oh my, ordinary people
weren’t supplied with rabbit ears, were they? My apologies.

最後に「賢者のポーズ」です 腕立て状せの状態から
片方の腕を上げていき 正面を向いて体を真っ直ぐに
保ちます 息を吸って 腕は天井に向かってしっかり伸ばす
視線も天井に向けて叫びましょう 「賢者!」

Our final exercise is the “Philosopher’s Pose.” First, get your body into a push-up position. From there, raise one arm and hold it straight ahead. Hold this position.
Breathe in… and stretch your arm up to the ceiling.
Raise your eyes to the ceiling as well, and shout… “Philosopher!”


ウドンゲ うるさい
ヨガは毎日続けて行うことで 体が鍛えられ

So, how was it?
Were there any areas that hurt when you moved them?
I’m full of injuries that you inflicted on me…
Udonge. Shut up.
If you perform yoga every day, you’ll discipline your body,
and you’ll be able to maintain a taut figure.

運動不足や肌満 高血圧を放っておくと

If you take no action against problems such as a lack of exercise, obesity, and high blood pressure, your important blood vessels will become blocked…


-You’re not a heron, you’re a hare! – The original plays on the similarity between the words ‘sagi’ (Heron) and ‘usagi’ (Rabbit). I changed rabbit to hare to keep the spirit of the original pun, though they don’t really sound that similar…
-Stand in a star-shaped position – like this:
. The original literally says ‘stand with your arms and legs stretched out like the character 大 (big).’ It kind of looks like a star, so that’s what I interpreted it as.

正邪の後進 || Seija’s Reversal

Artist: 小嶌一豪正邪の後進
Seija no koushin
Seija’s Reversal

Vocals: どみにゃん, Roverta, 中雑魚酒菜, and 菊一倖殷
Arranged by: Sakana Nakasako
Album: Dancing Phantasmagoria
Circle: Machikado-Mapoze (街角麻婆豆)
Event: C86

Subtitled video courtesy of Kappashiro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C0uBo5j47o

This one is a fun track from one of my most loved Touhou circles. I know I mentioned before that I like to translate things with ‘singability’ in mind, but I ignored that rule for this translation. I went light, and (slightly?) liberal at points. This song is just so lighthearted – it’s basically Seija boasting about how evil she is. Imagine her sitting there, speaking really quickly, beaming with pride. Of course, the official image that goes with this song tells a completely different story. I wonder whose version of the narrative is correct…?

Note: There’s actually a description that goes with this in the lyrics booklet. I’ll add it here when I get around to translating it…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

すわ事件だ 巫女出動 弾幕勝負中に
動きを逆さにして 妨害するのが快感
相手からは 感謝されて 困惑していたら
ピチュッた巫女ブチ切れ 泣いて退散

suwa jiken da miko shutsudou danmaku shoubu chuu ni
ugoki wo sakasa ni shite bougai suru no ga kaikan
aite kara wa kansha sarete kon’waku shiteitara
pichutta miko buchigire naite taisan

During the Suwa incident—when the Miko set out—whilst she was having a danmaku fight,
I reversed her movements! Disturbing others is such a pleasant feeling…
She was ‘thanked’ by her opponent, and whilst she was bewildered,
That Miko went ‘Pichun,’ flipped out, and ran away, crying…

地図片手に 山を目指す 白黒魔女の邪魔
看板入れ替えて 迷ったところに追い撃ち
箒奪い 橋落として 着いた森の奥で
レアキノコ発見 つい舌打ち

chizu katate ni yama wo mezasu shirokuro majo no jama
kan’ban ire kaete mayotta tokoro ni oi uchi
houki ubai hashi otoshite tsuita mori no oku de
rea kinoko hakken tsui shitauchi

A map in one hand, aiming for the mountain, went that black-and-white magician…
I swapped the signposts around, and I attacked her whilst she was lost!
I stole her broom, dropped her off the bridge, and when she finally got inside the forest…
She discovered a rare mushroom!—And I was smacking my lips…

お尋ね者 道具を手に 目指すは下剋上
ズル・嘘・裏切りと 何でもアリが方針
追手だらけ 襲いかかる 回避不能弾幕
逃げる背は見せない いざ後進

otazunemono dougu wo te ni mezasu wa gekokujou
zuru. uso. uragiri to nan demo ari ga houshin
otte darake osoikakaru kaihi funou danmaku
nigeru se wa misenai iza koushin

I’m a wanted girl. With my tools in my hands, I’m aiming for a complete turnabout!
Cunningness. Lies. Treachery. Anything goes—that’s my policy!
With nothing but pursuers behind me, I’m being attacked by impossible danmaku…
But I won’t show them my fleeing back! Now—reversal!