kanata || in the distance

kanata
in the distance

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: 立椅子かんな (KannaTateisu)
Composed by: 立椅子かんな (KannaTateisu)
Album: 閏 (Intercalary)
Release date: 15 November 2020

Requested by: Mason
Watch the official video on YouTube!


どうして人は建前を気にするのでしょう 
あと何を吸って何を吐いていれたら満足するの? 
全てを失う間際の残酷さなんて 
言葉にできないよ 

doushite hito wa tatemae o ki ni suru no deshou 
ato nani o sutte nani o haite iretara manzoku suru no? 
subete o ushinau magiwa no zankoku sa nante 
kotoba ni dekinai yo 

Why do people worry about keeping up appearances? 
What more do they need to inhale and exhale to be satisfied? 
The cruelty of being on the verge of losing everything 
is something I just can’t put into words. 

いつから私はあなたの全身全霊を 
さも自分自身のように思って唯 満足したの? 
全てを失う間際の間の抜け方なんて 
笑えるでしょ 

itsu kara watashi wa anata no zenshin zenrei o 
samo jibun jishin no you ni omotte tada manzoku shita no? 
subete o ushinau magiwa no ma no nukekata nante 
waraeru desho 

Since when did I see your body and soul 
as my own, and was just satisfied? 
A way of slipping through the cracks on the verge of losing everything? 
How laughable. 

私泣いちゃって目を腫らす 
あなたは一生愛を知らないまんま 
遠くなって 消えていった 
このままずっと ずっと ずっと 

watashi naichatte me o harasu 
anata wa isshou ai o shiranai manma 
tooku natte kiete itta 
kono mama zutto zutto zutto 

I burst into tears and my eyes go red. 
Unable to know love for your whole life 
you grew distant and vanished 
in that state, always, always, always. 

泣いたって 
手の届くあなたは一生愛を言わないまんま 
遠くなって 逃げていくんだ 
このままずっと ずっと ずっと 

naitatte 
te no todoku anata wa isshou ai o iwanai manma 
tooku natte nigete iku nda 
kono mama zutto zutto zutto 

Even if I cry 
you, in arm’s reach, will never speak of love for your whole life. 
You’ll grow distant and run away 
in that state, always, always, always. 

ANNA NO MUSICA

ANNA NO MUSICA

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: 煮ル果実 (Niru Kajitsu)
Composed by: 煮ル果実 (Niru Kajitsu)
Release Date: 25 January 2020

Requested by: taringtajam
Watch the official video on YouTube!

I was interested in the characters that appear on the character’s smartphone in the video, so I did some digging and according to one commentator they form the sentence “解釈は無駄。歌詞に意味無し。同(じ)穴の狢” (“Interpretation is useless. The lyrics are meaningless. They’re birds of a feather.”)


睨めっこ 睨めっこ
喰み裂いた脳×アイロニズム
アイフォゲット アイフォゲット
躊躇った思考×オーガニズム

niramekko niramekko
hami saita nou x aironizumu
ai fogetto ai fogetto
tameratta shikou x ooganizumu

It’s a staring contest, a staring contest.
A chewed-up brain x ironism.
I forget, I forget.
Hesitant thoughts x organism.

睨めっこ 睨めっこ
ちゃちな理想と凝ったリズム
アイフォゲット アイフォゲット
駄目拒否却下 無能な銓

niramekko niramekko
chachi na risou to kotta rizumu
ai fogetto ai fogetto
dame kyohi kyakka munou na hakaru

It’s a staring contest, a staring contest.
Cheap ideals and exquisite rhythm.
I forget, I forget.
No way, I refuse, overruled! The measurements are incompetent.

She was wearing red that day
just like going to kill him
Suddenly the child called a phenomenon died
They’re birds of a feather

睨めっこ 睨めっこ
有り体に腐ったラスト・ワルツ
アイフォゲット アイフォゲット
tari rattatta 狂って踊る

niramekko niramekko
aritei ni kusatta rasuto warutsu
ai fogetto ai fogetto
tari rattatta kurutte odoru

It’s a staring contest, a staring contest.
Truth be told, the last waltz grows degenerate.
I forget, I forget.
Tari rattatta, go mad and dance!

きりきり無いね 着膨れたって
膨らむサレンダーは憂鬱
廃贅肉でおしゃぶりなんて 御幾つですか? お客様
奇抜はとうに凡庸だって気付くも土壺の坩堝
甲斐性無しの改造人間さ

kiri kiri nai ne kibukureta tte
fukuramu sarendaa wa yuu’utsu
haizeiniki de oshaburi nante go-ikutsu desuka? okyakusama
kibatsu wa tou ni bon’you datte kidzuku mo dotsubo no rutsubo
kaishou nashi no kaizou ningen sa

It’s endless. Even bundled up
this swelling feeling of surrender is melancholy.
Using your excess flab as a dummy… how old are you again, dear customer?
I know that what’s normal has long since become banal, but I’m in deep trouble.
I’m a good-for-nothing cyborg.

睨めっこ 睨めっこ
消え去った苦悩×ジャイアニズム
アイフォゲット アイフォゲット
髪切った?理論×オプチミズム

niramekko niramekko
kiesatta kunou x jaianizumu
ai fogetto ai fogetto
kami kitta? riron x opuchimizumu

It’s a staring contest, a staring contest.
Vanished anguish x gianism.
I forget, I forget.
Did you get a haircut? Theory x optimism.

睨めっこ 睨めっこ
過度な期待で雁字搦め
アイフォゲット アイフォゲット
即落札 暴利 私利私欲

niramekko niramekko
kado na kitai de ganjigarame
ai fogetto ai fogetto
sokurakusatsu bouri shiri shiyoku

It’s a staring contest, a staring contest.
I’m bound by excessive hopes.
I forget, I forget.
An instant successful bid. Mega profits. Self-interest.

乱癡気だって 醜怪だって
収めるファインダーは恍惚
磨きゃ光って 叩きゃ濁って 満悦ですか? お客様
流行りはとうに模倣になって 無法地帯で大草原化
愛憎めいた改造人間さ

ranchiki datte shuukai datte
osameru faindaa wa koukotsu
migakya hikatte tatakya nigotte man’etsu desuka? okyakusama
hayari wa tou ni mohou ni natte muhou chitai de daisougenka
aizou meita kaizou ningen sa

Even if I’ve lost my senses, and even if I’m hideous,
the finder I pay is ecstatic.
Polish it and it shines, dust it and it gets cloudy. Are you delighted, dear customer?
Fads have long since become shams. The lawless areas have become prairies.
I’m a cyborg showing signs of likes and dislikes.

業突く張った 核弾頭を
蔑むナレーターは秀逸
向天吐唾で屁理屈なんて 最高じゃんか お客様
ほんの気持ちは余計な世話と気付くも土壺の坩堝
反面教師愛蔵人間

gou tsuku hatta kakudantou o
sagesumu nareetaa wa shuuitsu
kouten toda de herikutsu nante saikou jan ka okyakusama
hon no kimochi wa yokei na sewa to kidzuku mo dotsubo no rutsubo
hanmen kyoushi aizou ningen

The narrator scorns the warhead
that karma pierced and stuck to. How excellent.
Isn’t it the best to have your actions turn on you then indulge in sophistry, o customer?
I’ve noticed that my real feelings are none of your concern, but I’m in deep trouble.
The cherished human sets a bad example.

磨きゃ光って 叩きゃ濁って 辟易 瓦釡雷鳴
どうかどうかどうかD_O_U_K_A
お引き取りやがれ お客様
最底辺の
最底辺の
最底辺の愛憎人間さ

migakya hikatte tatakya nigotte hekieki gafu raimei
douka douka douka D_O_U_K_A
o-hikitori yagare okyakusama
saiteihen no
saiteihen no
saiteihen no aizou ningen sa

Polish it and it shines, dust it and it gets cloudy. I’m fed up. The big-talkers are promoted.
Please, please, please, please!
Please get out, dear customer.
I’m a human with the lowest
the lowest
the lowest-class likes and dislikes.

ミステリアスレディ || Mysterious Lady

ミステリアスレディ
misuteriasu redi
Mysterious Lady

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: ナサガシ (Nasagashi)
Composed by: ナサガシ (Nasagashi)
Upload date: 29 August 2020

Requested by: Wit + Innomi
Watch the official video on YouTube!

I’ve included a rough translation of the video text below the lyrics. It uses a lot of slang – leave a comment if you’d like to know more about any specific slang and I’ll go into a bit more detail. I had absolutely no idea what one line in the video text meant so I left it blank for now…


匿名ボーイ「ねぇねぇどこ住んでるの?」
匿名ボーイ「彼氏とかっているの?」    
匿名ボーイ「顔 見せてよ〜」

tokumei booi “nee nee doko sunderu no?”
tokumei booi “kareshi toka tte iru no?”
tokumei booi “kao misete yo”

Anonymous boy: “Hey, where do you live?”
Anonymous boy: “You got a boyfriend or something?”
Anonymous boy: “Lemme see your face!”

「今夜もありがとうね。あしたも配信で会おうね」
ショーツをはき直して笑う 笑う

“kon’ya mo arigarou ne. ashita mo haishin de aou ne”
shootsu o hakinaoshite warau warau

“Thanks for tonight! I’ll see you again at tomorrow’s stream.”
She put her shorts back on and laughed. She laughed.

太りきった承認欲求 有象無象に餌ばらまいた
お返しはアマギフでお願い お願いだ

futori kitta shounin yokkyuu uzou muzou ni esa baramaita
okaeshi wa amagifu de onegai onegai da

With her need for approval grown fat, she scattered some bait for the masses
requesting Amazon gift cards in return.

会社じゃ地味目ガール 大好きな〇〇くんに
「脱いだらすっごいの」なんて言えない 癒えないや

kaisha ja jimi me gaaru daisuki na OO-kun ni
“nuidara suggoi no” nante ienai ienai ya

She’s a plain girl at work. She can’t face her beloved 〇〇-kun and say
“Once you take off your clothes it’s amazing.” She can’t say it, she can’t recover.

匿名ボーイ「ねぇねぇどこ住んでるの?」
匿名ボーイ「彼氏とかっているの?」    
匿名ボーイ「顔 見せてよ〜」

tokumei booi “nee nee doko sunderu no?”
tokumei booi “kareshi toka tte iru no?”
tokumei booi “kao misete yo”

Anonymous boy: “Hey, where do you live?”
Anonymous boy: “You got a boyfriend or something?”
Anonymous boy: “Lemme see your face!”

「関係ないでしょ」

“kanekei nai desho”

“It’s none of your business.”

ミステリアスレディ おかえりなさい
ファンデーションを身体に塗る
ミステリアスレディ 今は誰も
見抜かないで今夜 夢みさせてね

misuteriasu redi okaerinasai
fandeeshon o karada ni nuru
misuteriasu redi ima wa dare mo
minukanaide kon’ya yume misasete ne

Mysterious lady, welcome home.
She spreads some foundation on her body.
Mysterious lady, there’s nobody here now.
Don’t see through me. Let me dream tonight.

匿名ボーイの供述

tokumei booi no kyoujutsu

This is the anonymous boy’s testimony.

くだらない仕事終え 半裸で配信を待ってる
SNOWじゃない素の君が知りたい 見たい

kudaranai shigoto oe hanra de haishin o matteru
SNOW ja nai su no kimi ga shiritai mitai

I finish my trivial work and wait for the stream while half-naked.
Rather than SNOW, I want to know and see your real self.
(1)

会社じゃ爽やかボーイ みんなが僕を慕ってる
でも本当の姿 誰も知らない 知れない

kaisha ja sawayaka booi minna ga boku o shitatteru
demo hontou no sugata dare mo shiranai shirenai

I’m an ideal boy at work. Everyone idolises me
but nobody knows who I really am. They can’t even guess.

匿名ボーイ「ねえねえねえどしたん❓😂」
匿名ボーイ「悪い男に捕まっちゃったんだね……😂」
匿名ボーイ「うんうん、わかるゥ😂」
匿名ボーイ「僕ならそんなことしないよ❓❓」
匿名ボーイ「もう大丈夫‼️」
匿名ボーイ「僕でよければ・・・相談乗るよ❓😂」

tokumei booi “nee nee nee doshitan?”
tokumei booi “warui otoko ni tsukamacchatta nda ne…”
tokumei booi “un un, wakaru”
tokumei booi “boku nara sonna koto shinai yo??”
tokumei booi “mou daijoubu!!”
tokumei booi “boku de yokereba… soudan noru yo?”

Anonymous boy: “Hey, what’s wrong? 😂”
Anonymous boy: “She was caught by a bad guy… 😂”
Anonymous boy: “Ah okay, I get it 😂”
Anonymous boy: “I wouldn’t do the same if it was me??”
Anonymous boy: “It’s all fine now!!”
Anonymous boy: “If you’d like… I’ll give some advice? 😂”

匿名ボーイ「ねぇねぇどこ住んでるの?」
匿名ボーイ「彼氏とかっているの?」    
匿名ボーイ「顔 見せてよ〜」

tokumei booi “nee nee doko sunderu no?”
tokumei booi “kareshi toka tte iru no?”
tokumei booi “kao misete yo”

Anonymous boy: “Hey, where do you live?”
Anonymous boy: “You got a boyfriend or something?”
Anonymous boy: “Lemme see your face!”

ミステリアスレディ やめられない

misuteriasu redi yamerarenai

The mysterious lady… I can’t stop.

ミステリアスレディ おかえりなさい
ファンデーションを身体に塗る
ミステリアスレディ 今は誰も
見捨てないで今夜も眠れない

misuteriasu redi okaerinasai
fandeeshon o karada ni nuru
misuteriasu redi ima wa dare mo
misutenaide kon’ya mo nemurenai

Mysterious lady, welcome home.
She spreads some foundation on her body.
Mysterious lady, there’s nobody here now.
Don’t overlook me. I can’t sleep again tonight.

ミステリアスレディ お願いやめられない
ミステリアスレディ 今は誰も
ファンで不安で……

misuteriasu redi onegai yamerarenai
misuteriasu redi ima wa dare mo
fan de fuan de…

Mysterious lady, please, I can’t stop.
Mysterious lady, there’s nobody here now.
I’m your fan and I’m worried…

は?

ha?

Hm?


(1) It’s likely that SNOW is included since it sounds like 素の (su no).


わこつ
◯◯チャン、大丈夫?
いっでもウチ、来ていよ?
ひy
なんちゃってネ!

Hi! (2)
◯◯-chan, are you ok?
You can always come to my place, y’know?
how lewd!
jk!

どこ住み、、?ヒント!
初見

Where do you live…? C’mon, gimme a hint!
First-time viewer here.

作日はよく眠れたかな、、?
可愛すぎワロタ
マスはずしてー!
心配しなくていいよ
すぐイクから

Did you sleep well yesterday?
How cute lol

No need to worry
since I’ll come soon.

ねぇねぇどこにすんでる〜の???

C’mon, where do you live?

後ろのカーテン見て
いまなにしてる??

I look at the curtains behind you.
What are you doing now?

ポニーテールも好きだよ
アイシテルアイシテルアイシテル
僕ならそんなことしないよ??

I like your ponytail, too.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I wouldn’t do something like that, though?

wwwwwwwwwwwwww
頬フラktkr

lololololol
Stroking your cheek… I was waiting for it!

駅まで迎えに行うかなッ!

Should I go meet you at the station?

神奈川県名探市相相町三丁目3-10

Kanagawa Prefecture, Meitan City, Aiai Street, Sanchome 3-10

俺は大丈夫だよ?

I’m okay?

僕の奴隷になってよ

Be my slave!

この枠神回wwww

What an awesome episode! lol

悪い男に捕まっちゃったんだね… 
顔見せてよ

She was caught by a bad guy…
Lemme see your face!


(2) わこつ (wakotsu) is a contracted form of 枠取りお疲れ様 (wakutori otsukaresama), which originally meant ‘thanks for getting a timeslot [on NicoNico]’. Now that there’s less competition for slots, the phrase is used to greet livestreamers.

コペルニクス的転回 || Kopernikanische Wende

コペルニクス的転回
koperunikusu-teki tenkai
Kopernikanische Wende

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: Nanao
Composed by: Nanao
PV Release Date: 18 April 2020
Group: Teary Planet

Requested by: raineydayparade
Watch the official video on YouTube!

The title we’ve got up there is the official title. In English, it means something like ‘Copernican Revolution’.


澱みに浮かぶ泡沫のような
終わりのないこの閉塞で
いつまでも無力な自分を
ただ呪った

yodomi ni ukabu utakata no you na
owari no nai kono heisoku de
itsu made mo muryoku na jibun o
tada norotta

I was in an endless blockage that resembled bubbles
floating on top of sediment.
I just kept cursing
my powerless self.

壊れる度霞むその影は
面影の無い昏い眼差しで
「消えて無くなってくれ」と
また神を憎んだ

kowareru tabi kasumu sono kage wa
omokage no nai kurai manazashi de
“kiete naku natte kure” to
mata kami o nikunda

Those figures grew blurry each time they broke apart.
With dull, faceless gazes
“Vanish, disappear”
they detested God.

性懲りも無く蒸し返す夏の
茹だるような夜風のように
疾うに失った日々に
まだ縋ってた

shoukori mo naku mushikaesu natsu no
yudaru you na yokaze no you ni
tou ni ushinatta hibi ni
mada sugatteta

Like a boiling night breeze
blowing during a doggedly reheating summer
I still clung to days
which I had long lost.

欺瞞に満ちたその形相は
偽物だと疑わずに
苛虐な独我論をただ振りかざした

giman ni michita sono gyousou wa
nisemono da to utagawazu ni
kagyaku na dokugaron o tada furikazashita

With an expression filled with deceit,
they wielded cruel solipsism
without even doubting that it was a sham.

嘲笑う亡霊が
死灰に巣食うのは
戸惑いの類とか
そんな奇跡を願った

azawarau bourei ga
shikai ni sukuu no wa
tomadoi no kagui toka
sonna kiseki o negatta

The sneering ghosts
nested in the dead
due to a kind of bewilderment
or wishing for such a miracle.

繰り返し辿る愁いの瀬に
虚像と幻想の中で
惑い溺れているようだった
透明と群青に帯びた空も
今はもう嘘のように虚ろな色をしていた

kurikaeshi tadoru urei no se ni
kyozou to gensou no naka de
madoi oborete iru you datta
toumei to gunjou ni obita sora mo
ima mo mou uso no you ni utsuro na iro o shite ita

In the shoals of grief, which I continued to return to,
and among pretences and illusions
I seemed to continue to drown in illusions.
The sky, tinged with clarity and ultramarine,
also seemed to be coloured a false-looking emptiness.

「今更だ」なんて咽ぶ日々は
まるで解けない呪縛のように
いつまでも同じその後悔を
まだ恐れてた

“imasara da” nante musebu hibi wa
maru de tokenai jubaku no you ni
itsu made mo onaji sono koukai o
mada osoreteta

During days stifled by words like “it’s too late,”
it felt like an unbreakable curse.
I was always afraid
of the same regrets.

「結末が全てなんだ」と君は
描いていた理想論を
「出来損ないの茶番劇だ」って
ただ吐き捨てたんだ

“ketsumatsu ga subete nanda” to kimi wa
egaite ita risouron o
“dekisokonai no chabangeki da” tte
tada hakisuteta nda

“Results are everything,”
with that, you described an idealistic argument.
“This is a poorly-made farce,”
you just spat those words out.

連れ去った夏の日が
独り燻むのは
瞞しの類とか
そんな皮肉を訴う 

tsuresatta natsu no hi ga
hitori kusumu no wa
mayakashi no tagui toka
sonna hiniku o utau

I secluded myself away
during abducted summer days
because I was complaining about a kind of deception
or such cynicism.

流れて廻る賽の目に
宛も無い正義の中で
救いを求めているようだった
曖昧と境界に延びた夢も
今はもうただ怖くて
気付かない振りしていた

nagarete mawaru sai no me ni
ate mo nai seigi no naka de
sukui o motomete iru you datta
aimai to kyoukai ni nobita yume mo
ima wa mou tada kowakute
kidzukanai furi shite ita

In the eye of a die, cycling around,
and among aimless justice
I seemed to be seeking salvation.
Dreams extended through vagueness and boundaries
are just frightening now as well
so I pretended not to notice them.

知りたくなかった
でも気付いていたんだ

shiritaku nakatta
demo kidzuite ita nda

I didn’t want to know
and yet I realised it.

澱みに浮かぶ泡沫のような
終わりのないこの閉塞で
いつまでも無力な自分を
ただ呪った

yodomi ni ukabu utakata no you na
owari no nai kono heisoku de
itsu made mo muryoku na jibun o
tada norotta

I was in an endless blockage that resembled bubbles
floating on top of sediment.
I just kept cursing
my powerless self.

ヒトリ || Alone

ヒトリ
hitori
Alone

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: しとお (Shitoo)
Composed by: しとお (Shitoo)
Upload date: 24 February 2020

Requested by: Wit + Innomi
Watch the official video on YouTube!

Update (11 June 2020): Minor adjustments based on comments by Tackmyn. Thank you!


あなたと居ると反吐が出る
何もかもが嫌になる
苦しい悲しいことばっか
あなたと居ると反吐が出る

anata to iru to hedo ga deru
nani mo kamo ga iya ni naru
kurushii kanashii koto bakka
anata to iru to hedo ga deru

I feel nauseous when I’m with you
and I get fed up with everything.
Nothing but painful, sad things happen.
I feel nauseous when I’m with you

あなたを見ると眩暈がする
誰も彼も歪んでく
苦しい悲しいことばっか
あなたを見ると眩暈がする

anata o miru to memai ga suru
daremo kare mo yugandeku
kurushii kanashii koto bakka
anata o miru to memai ga suru

When I look at you, I get dizzy
and everyone goes blurry.
Nothing but painful, sad things happen.
When I look at you, I get dizzy.

私の心が飛んで跳ねてまた沈む
仲直りすれば元通り
「あなたが好き」に元通り

watashi no kokoro ga tonde hanete mata shizumu
nakanaori sureba motodoori
“anata ga suki” ni motodoori

My heart leaps up then sinks again.
When we make up, things go back to normal.
“I love you.” That’s what things go back to.

でも もう辞めにしよう 終わらせよう
意味のないループを繰り返す
あなたのいない世界なら
余程生きやすいでしょう
辞めにしよう 終わらせよう
どうせ あなたにとって私は

demo mou yame ni shiyou owaraseyou
imi no nai ruupu o kurikaesu
anata no inai sekai nara
yohodo iki yasui deshou
yame ni shiyou owaraseyou
douse anata ni totte watashi wa

But, let’s stop. Let’s put an end to it.
We’re just going through a meaningless loop.
Perhaps a world without you
would be so easy to live in.
Let’s stop. Let’s put an end to it.
Anyhow, in your mind, I am

ただの一人

tada no hitori    

just one of many.

あなたの笑みが煩わしい
醜い自分が嫌になる
苦しい悲しいことばっか
あなたの笑みが煩わしい

anata no emi ga wazurawashii
minikui jibun ga iya ni naru
kurushii kanashii koto bakka
anata no emi ga wazurawashii

Your smile is so annoying
and I start hating my ugly self.
Nothing but painful, sad things happen.
Your smile is so annoying.

気持ちが悪い 愛も恋も 馬鹿らしい
独りになれば元通り
「あなたが好き」って元通り

kimochi ga warui ai mo koi mo bakarashii
hitori ni nareba motodoori
“anata ga suki” tte motodoori

How disgusting. Love and romance are idiotic.
When I’m alone, things go back to normal.
“I love you.” With those words, things go back to normal.

もう辞めにしよう 終わらせよう
意味のないループを繰り返す
あなたのいない世界なら
余程生きやすいでしょう
辞めにしよう 終わらせよう
どうせ あなたにとって私は

mou yame ni shiyou owaraseyou
imi no nai ruupu o kurikaesu
anata no inai sekai nara
yohodo iki yasui deshou
yame ni shiyou owaraseyou
douse anata ni totte watashi wa

But, let’s stop. Let’s put an end to it.
We’re just going through a meaningless loop.
Perhaps a world without you
would be so easy to live in.
Let’s stop. Let’s put an end to it.
Anyhow, in your mind, I am

ただの一人

tada no hitori    

just one of many.

でも もう辞めにしよう 終わらせよう
意味のないことばっかりだった
あなたのいない世界なら
孤独でしかないでしょう
辞めにして終わらせて
私にとってあなたは

demo mou yame ni shiyou owaraseyou
imi no nai koto bakkari datta
anata no inai sekai nara
kodoku de shika nai deshou
yame ni shite owarasete
watashi ni totte anata wa

But, let’s stop. Let’s put an end to it.
We just did the same meaningless things over and over.
Perhaps a world without you
is a place I could only live alone in.
I’ll stop and put an end to it
even though, in my mind, you were

たった一人だったのに

tatta hitori datta no ni

my one and only.

Dizzy

Dizzy

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: 大沼パセリ (Oonuma Paseri)
Composed by: 大沼パセリ (Oonuma Paseri)
Album: memento mori
Release date: 18 November 2018

Requested by: gappie


「首を絞めて」
せがむ君は薬漬けの毎日で
愛を忘れてロボットのよう
僕がずっとそばに居るよ

“kubi o shimete”
segamu kimi wa kusuridzuke no mainichi de
ai o wasurete robotto no you
boku ga zutto soba ni iru yo

“Strangle me,”
you begged during your overmedicated days.
You forget about love, like a robot.
I’ll always be by your side.

ほんとの想いは届かない
届けたい だってだって
きっと逃げてしまうから
嫌いになるから

honto no omoi wa todokanai
todoketai datte datte
kitto nigete shimau kara
kirai ni naru kara

My true feelings don’t reach you.
I want them to, but
you’ll run away in the end
and you’ll hate me.

意地悪な僕を愛して壊して
ずっとずっと
長い鎖で繋がれてる
セキュリティみたいだ

ijiwaru na boku o aishite kowashite
zutto zutto
nagai kusari de tsunagareteru
sekyuriti mitai da

I am malicious. Love me and destroy me.
Always, always…
I am tied up in long chains.
It’s like I’m under security.

愛してたって愛してたって愛してたって
何処か寂しげな君がいて
何故か笑ってる君がいる
愛を語って愛を語って愛を語って
どうかいつまでもこのままで
そっと刃を心にしまわせて

aishiteta tte aishiteta tte aishiteta tte
doko ka sabishige na kimi ga ite
naze ka waratteru kimi ga iru
ai o katatte ai o katatte ai o katatte
douka itsu made mo kono mama de
sotto yaiba o kokoro ni shimawasete

Though I loved you, I loved you, I loved you,
when you’re here, somewhat sad,
you’re smiling somehow.
I speak of love, I speak of love, I speak of love.
I hope that I can leave my blade gently in my heart
forever, as it is now.

腕をいかれ滲む紅色
ほんの少し嬉しくて
赤が増えてフループ飲んだ
君をぎゅっと抱きしめるよ

ude o ikare nijimu beniiro
hon no sukoshi ureshikute
aka ga fuete furuupu nonda
kimi o gyutto dakishimeru yo

With scarlet running down my beaten arms,
I felt just a little happy.
There was more and more red and I had a froop.
I’ll hug you tightly.

愛してたってまとまらないから
愛を辿って遠くの果てまで

aishiteta tte matomaranai kara
ai o tadotte tooku no hate made

Though I loved you, we can’t settle on it
so I follow love to its distant end.

愛してたって愛してたって愛してたって
何処か寂しげな君がいて
何故か笑ってる君がいる
愛を語って愛を語って愛を語って
どうかいつまでもこのままで
そっと刃を心にしまわせて

aishiteta tte aishiteta tte aishiteta tte
doko ka sabishige na kimi ga ite
naze ka waratteru kimi ga iru
ai o katatte ai o katatte ai o katatte
douka itsu made mo kono mama de
sotto yaiba o kokoro ni shimawasete

Though I loved you, I loved you, I loved you,
when you’re here, somewhat sad,
you’re smiling somehow.
I speak of love, I speak of love, I speak of love.
I hope that I can leave my blade gently in my heart
forever, as it is now.

愛してたって愛してたって愛してたって
何処か寂しげな君がいて
何故か笑ってる君がいる
愛を謳って愛を謳って愛を謳って
どうかいつまでもこのままで
そっと刃を心にしまわせて

aishiteta tte aishiteta tte aishiteta tte
doko ka sabishige na kimi ga ite
naze ka waratteru kimi ga iru
ai o utatte ai o utatte ai o utatte
douka itsu made mo kono mama de
sotto yaiba o kokoro ni shimawasete

Though I loved you, I loved you, I loved you,
when you’re here, somewhat sad,
you’re smiling somehow.
I sing of love, I sing of love, I sing of love.
I hope that I can leave my blade gently in my heart
forever, as it is now.

ウシロノショウメン || Hidden Behind Me

ウシロノショウメン
ushiro no shoumen
Hidden Behind Me

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku), flower
Lyrics: しとお (Shitoo)
Composed by: しとお (Shitoo)
Upload date: 24 February 2020

Requested by: monomonopierrot + bonnie
Watch the official video on YouTube!

The title comes from the Japanese traditional song Kagome Kagome, and it’s notorioously difficult to translate. The translation used here was chosen to emphasise the theme of concealment underlying this song.


身勝手なら未完成なら
抱きしめて一緒に来て
笑っていた日常は 戻らないの
抉ったまま触って ほら
痛みなど慣れたから
ねえまだ 始まったばかり

migatte nara mikansei nara
dakishimete issho ni kite
waratte ita nichijou wa modoranai no
egutta mama sawatte hora
itami nado nareta kara
nee mada hajimatta bakari

If I’m selfish or incomplete,
then hug me and come with me.
I can’t return to the days when I smiled.
I’m still gouged out. Touch me, see—
I’m used to pain now
so come on, we’ve only just started.

歪んでいく 変わっていく
愛してた”平凡”は
血まみれで戻らない 狂った世界へ
願ってまだ足りないのに
愛していたいだなんて
そんな凶器を手に 走る 走る

yugande iku kawatte iku
aishiteta “heibon” wa
chimamire de modoranai kurutta sekai e
negatte mada tarinai noni
aishite itai da nante
sonna kyouki o te ni hashiru hashiru

Growing twisted and changing,
the ‘ordinary’ life I loved
is now bloodstained and I can’t get it back. I head to a mad world.
I wish, yet it isn’t enough.
“I want to love you.”
With that lethal weapon in hand, I run and run.

閉じ込めていたのは 純な恋心
触れて溶けて 今 痛みに変わった

tojikomete ita no wa jun na koigokoro
furete tokete ima itami ni kawatta

I sealed away my naive love.
I touch it and it dissolves. Now, it has become pain.

繰り返す意味に 縋り続けてる
信じられないの もう何もかもが
狐は笑った 「犯人はだあれ?」
後ろの正面で 待ってるね

kurikaesu imi ni sugari tsudzuketeru
shinjirarenai no mou nani mo kamo ga
kitsune wa waratta “hannin wa daare?”
ushiro no shoumen de matteru ne

I kept clinging to the meaning of this repetition—
I just can’t believe in anything anymore.
The kitsune laughed: “Who’s the culprit?”
They’re waiting, hidden behind me.

染まってしまえ変わってしまえ
君のいない世界なら
身勝手でも未完成でも 書き変えよう
冷たいな苦しいな
安っぽいこんな痛み
愛しくて悲しい 今 また舞台へ

somatte shimae kawatte shimae
kimi no inai sekai nara
migatte demo mikansei demo kakikaeyou
tsumetai na kurushii na
yasuppoi konna itami
itoshikute kanashii ima mata butai e

Be tainted and changed completely!
If this world is missing you,
then whether I’m selfish or incomplete, I’ll rewrite it!
How cold. How painful.
My pain seems so cheap.
So beloved yet sad. Now, I head for the stage again.

解き放つ感情が ゆるされるのなら
触れて溶けて さあ 侵し尽くそう

tokihanatsu kanjou ga yurusareru no nara
furete tokete saa okashi tsukusou

If the feelings I release are allowed,
then I’ll touch them and they will melt. Now, I’ll completely invade them!

繰り返す声で 君を探してる
今すぐいくから もう離さないよ
狐は笑った 「犯人はだあれ?」
後ろの正面は

kurikaesu koe de kimi o sagashiteru
imasugu iku kara mou hanasanai yo
kitsune wa waratta “hannin wa daare?”
ushiro no shoumen wa

Calling repeatedly, I search for you.
I’ll go to you right away, so we won’t be parted again.
The kitsune laughed: “Who’s the culprit?”
They’re hidden behind me.

繰り返す意味が なくなる時まで
君だけを見てる 愛しているんだ
狐は笑った「犯人はだあれ?」
後ろの正面で 待ってるね
二人の幸せな 結末へ

kurikaesu imi ga naku naru toki made
kimi dake o miteru aishite iru nda
kitsune wa waratta “hannin wa daare?”
ushiro no shoumen de matteru ne
futari no shiawase na ketsumatsu e

Until the meanings of this repetition run out,
I’ll look only at you. I love you.
The kitsune laughed: “Who’s the culprit?”
They’re waiting, hidden behind me.
We head to our happy conclusion.

praise

praise

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: 大沼パセリ (Oonuma Paseri)
Composed by: 大沼パセリ (Oonuma Paseri)
Upload Date: October 6, 2018

Requested by: yami_no_bakura
Watch the official video here!

This track has a bit of a focus on words that sound the same but have different meanings – for example, 乾杯 and 完敗 are both pronounced ‘kanpai’.


浪費する生活に乾杯
消費する人生に完敗
見定めては的外れで
屍になって御陀仏様

rouhi suru seikatsu ni kanpai
shouhi suru jinsei ni kanpai
misadamete wa matohazure de
shikabane ni natte odabutsu-sama

I toast my wasteful lifestyle!
I’m annihilated by my consumptive life.
I check my aim but then I’m off the mark.
I become a corpse and one of the dead.

馬鹿みたいに踊って
自分の身体乗っ取って
馬鹿みたいに歌って
自分の身体乗っ取って
行こう行こうぜ

baka mitai ni odotte
jibun no karada nottotte
baka mitai ni utatte
jibun no karada nottotte
ikou ikou ze

I dance like a fool.
I hijack my body.
I sing like a fool.
I hijack my body.
Let’s go, let’s go!

煙に巻かれて盲目状態
一心不乱の出来レースのような
この身を委ねて拘束状態
一触即発エビデンスのような

kemuri ni makarete moumoku joutai
isshin furan no dekireesu no you na
kono mi o yudanete kousoku joutai
isshoku sokuhatsu ebidensu no you na

Enveloped by smoke, I am blind.
It’s like an intently fixed race.
I surrender myself to restraint.
It’s like evidence of an explosive situation.

手紙を綴りましょう
心のしがらみも
どうか君に届くように
笑顔に隠された
秘密の正体も
どうか君に会えますように

tegami o tsudzurimashou
kokoro no shigarami mo
douka kimi ni todoku you ni
egao ni kakusareta
himitsu no shoutai mo
douka kimi ni aemasu you ni

I’ll write a letter
hoping the bonds of my heart
will reach you, too.
I hope that my true self
kept secret beneath my smile
will meet you someday as well…

懺悔する生活に参拝
消費する人生に完敗
フィナーレには真っ赤なお花を
幸せになって御陀仏様

sange suru seikatsu ni sanpai
shouhi suru jinsei ni kanpai
finaare ni wa makka na ohana o
shiawase ni natte odabutsu-sama

I pay homage to my penitent life.
I’m annihilated by my consumptive life.
I offer bright red flowers at the finale.
I become happy and one of the dead.

馬鹿みたいに呑んで
自分の身体乗っ取って
馬鹿みたいに酔っ払って
自分の身体乗っ取って
行こう行こうぜ

baka mitai ni nonde
jibun no karada nottotte
baka mitai ni yopparatte
jibun no karada nottotte
ikou ikou ze

I drink like a fool.
I hijack my body.
I get drunk like a fool.
I hijack my body.
Let’s go, let’s go!

手紙を綴りましょう
心のしがらみも
どうか時に想うように
笑顔に隠された
秘密の正体も
どうか君に会えますように

tegami o tsudzurimashou
kokoro no shigarami mo
douka toki ni omou you ni
egao ni kakusareta
himitsu no shoutai mo
douka kimi ni aemasu you ni

I’ll write a letter
hoping you’ll sometimes think
of my heart’s bonds, too.
I hope that my true self
kept secret beneath my smile
will meet you someday as well…

手紙を綴りましょう
心のしがらみも
どうか君に届くように
笑顔に隠された
秘密の正体も
どうか君に会えますように

tegami o tsudzurimashou
kokoro no shigarami mo
douka kimi ni todoku you ni
egao ni kakusareta
himitsu no shoutai mo
douka kimi ni aemasu you ni

I’ll write a letter
hoping the bonds of my heart
will reach you, too.
I hope that my true self
kept secret beneath my smile
will meet you someday as well…

ウッドペッカーは夜泣く || The Woodpecker Cries at Night

ウッドペッカーは夜泣く
uddopekkaa wa yoru naku
The Woodpecker Cries at Night

Vocals: Flower
Lyrics: Yoh Kamiyama (有機酸)
Composed by: Yoh Kamiyama (有機酸)
Release Date: October 15, 2015

Requested by: dean
Watch the official PV here!

Buy the track on Bandcamp!


「そこのお姉さんちょっとお時間ございますか」
鴉まがいの軽薄男性
公然 猥褻 不束 態度 二等兵
「ココロのスキマをお埋めします」
とかどっかできいた台詞吐いた舌に
銀のピアス アスペルガー 喰えるか

“soko no oneesan chotto ojikan gozaimasu ka”
karasu magai no keihaku dansei
kouzen waisetsu futsutsuka taido nitouhei
“kokoro no sukima o oume shimasu”
toka dokka de kiita serifu haita shita ni
gin no piasu asuperugaa kueru ka

“Young lady over there, could you spare some time for me?”
Thus spoke the raven-like, superficial man.
Overt, obscene, rude behaviour. A soldier.
“I shall fill the holes in your heart.”
 He spat words I’d heard somewherebefore. Upon his tongue
was a golden piercing. Asperger’s. As if I’d go for him.

人混みゴミゴミした街だって
思って歩い歩いて歩き疲れて
気付けばあたしがゴミになってて
出会った清掃員と連れ添って
貰った幸せの分働いて
あたしの名前はなんだっけ

hitogomi gomi gomi shita machi datte
omotte arui aruite aruki tsukarete
kizukeba atashi ga gomi ni nattete
deatta seisouin to tsuresotte
moratta shiawase no bun hataraite
atashi no namae wa nan dakke

Thinking this town was squalid and crammed with people,
I walked and walked until I got tired.
I had become trash myself before I knew it
and I coupled up with the garbage man I met.
I laboured for the happiness he gave me.
What was my name again…?

あなたはさ 笑うとさ かわいいな
ああもう 嫌って程に
できればさ そこからさ 出ないでね
あなたはさ 笑うとさ かわいいな
ああもう 嫌って程に

anata wa sa warau to sa kawaii na
aa mou kiratte hodo ni
dekirebasa soko kara sa denai de ne
anata wa sa warau to sa kawaii na
aa mou kiratte hodo ni

When you smile, well… you’re cute, ya know?
Ah, it’s just too much.
If ya could, just stay over there.
Y’know, when you smile, well… you’re cute, ya know?
Ah, it’s just too much.

見てるだけ ただ見てるだけ

miteru dake tada miteru dake

Just watching. Nothing but watching…

切れた電球を眺めて
溜息ついた
曖昧な脳内迷路を行ったり来たりだ
ウッドペッカーは夜泣く
あたしじゃない あたしじゃないな
壁の向こうから手を振った
月を見ているあなたに
おやすみ

kireta denkyuu o nagamete
tameiki tsuita
aimai na nounai meiro o ittari kitari da
uddopekkaa wa yoru naku
atashi ja nai atashi ja nai na
kabe no mukou kara te o futta
tsuki o mite iru anata ni
oyasumi

Gazing at the dead light bulb,
I sighed.
I go back and forth through the unclear maze in my mind.
The woodpecker cries at night.
It isn’t me. It isn’t me.
I waved from behind the wall.
I was bidding you goodnight
as you looked at the moon.

昨日のあたしは誰かにとっての
大事な何かになれますか
そんなのいいからこっち向いててよ
排気ガス吸い込んで飲み込んだ
タール5 √3
いいでしょ どうでも
誰か褒めてくれよって
そりゃないよな

kinou no atashi wa dareka ni totte no
daiji na nanika ni naremasu ka
sonna no ii kara kocchi muitete yo
haiki gasu suikonde nomikonda
taaru go ruuto san
ii desho dou demo
dareka homete kure yo tte
sorya nai yo na

Can I, as I was yesterday, become something important
to someone else?
I don’t care, so look my way!
I breathed in and gulped down the exhaust fumes.
Tar. 5 √3
Sounds good? I don’t care.
I want someone to praise me,
But I guess they won’t.

「飴玉ひとつ分だけだから」
フォークの先で抉り取っていた
レイヤーの隅に追いやられてもさ
明日会ったら何を話そうか
一度だったら許されるのかは
あなたに心を返した後に
一人砂漠に問う

“amedama hitotsu bun dake dakara”
fooku no saki de eguri totte ita
reiyaa no sumi ni oiyararete mo sa
ashita attara nani o hanasou ka
ichido dattara yurusareru no ka wa
anata ni kokoro o kaeshita ato ni
hitori sabaku ni tou

“After all, it’s just a piece of candy.”
I gouged it out and took it with my fork.
Even if we’re driven away to the corner of the layers,
What will we talk about when we meet tomorrow?
Would we be allowed to meet just once?
I will ask the sand, alone,
After returning your heart.

あなたはさ 笑うとさ 可愛いな
ああもう嫌ってほどに
いい加減 腹が立つ くらいにさ
触れる距離にいないなら
当たり前になっちゃうくらいなら
あたし 暗い巣穴でかくれんぼ
致しましょう

anata wa sa warau to sa kawaii na
aa mou kiratte hodo ni
iikagen hara ga tatsu kurai ni sa
fureru kyori ni inai nara
atarimae ni nacchau kurai nara
atashi kurai suana de kakurenbo
itashimashou

When you smile, well… you’re cute, ya know?
Ah, it’s just too much.
Just cut it out! It’s enough to make me mad.
If you’re not close enough to touch,
Then instead of this becoming the norm,
Play hide-and-seek with me
in this dark den!

切れた唇でキスして 家路についた
大丈夫になるまでここで休んでいきなよ
嘘つきってこと知ってて
嫌いじゃない 嫌いじゃないな
強く降る雨が 窓をたたいて
ミシミシと 心が軋む

kireta kuchibiru de kisu shite ieji ni tsuita
daijoubu ni naru made koko de yasunde ikina yo             
usotsukitte koto shittete
kirai ja nai kirai ja nai na
tsuyoku furu ame ga mado o tataite
mishimishi to kokoro ga kishimu

I kissed you with cracked lips and headed for home.
Until I feel better, I’ll rest here.
I know that you’re a liar,
But I don’t care. I don’t care.
The downpouring rain beats against my window.
My heart creaks.

切れた電球を眺めて 溜息ついた
冷静考えてみれば よくある話だ
ウッドペッカーは夜泣く
素直じゃない素直じゃないな
壁の向こうから手を振った
月を見ているあなたに
おやすみ

kireta denkyuu o nagamete tameiki tsuita
reisei kangaete mireba yoku aru hanashi da
uddopekkaa wa yoru naku
sunao ja nai sunao ja nai na
kabe no mukou kara te o futta
tsuki o miteiru anata ni
oyasumi

Gazing at the dead light bulb, I sighed.
When I think about it with a cool head, this is a common story.
The woodpecker cries at night.
It’s dishonest. It’s dishonest.
I waved from behind the wall.
I was bidding you goodnight
as you looked at the moon.