鼓動、零れぬ酒 || My Heartbeat and Unspilt Saké

歌詞

心締め付けられて　何事にも動じない
はずだったプライドはもう　張るだけ情けない

死にかけた戦いでも私は私で
いることができたのに
どうして君を前にするたび
基本が崩れる低防御になってしまう
これが世にいう反則技と理解したが遅すぎたな
ａｈ変わってゆく価値観と生きがいと苦しみが失われ
心締め付けられて　何事にも動じない
はずだったプライドはもう　張るだけ情けない
鼓動が操れない　信じた力は君の
優しい腕ずくもがいた　赤子の手のようだ

一滴もこぼれない酒がどうしてという
外面はなんとでもできるさ
問題はそこじゃない
きっかけなどありもせず
無防備にやってくる
私らしくない感情ども
踏みつけても消えやしない
ａｈ否定できぬ価値観と生きがいと苦しみが損なわれ
静かな熱い思い　誰にも知られたくない
意味のないプライドがまた　余計に苦しめる
鼓動が速くなって　今までの力はそう
専門外でこそ通った　気づきたくなかった

自ら揺らしていた　期待を楽しんでいた
それなのに負けたくはない　誰もがそうだという
胸が締め付けられて　考えないようにして
いつもの自分に戻ろう　ってもうこれ何回目？
鼓動が操れない　信じた力は君の
優しい腕で包まれた　赤子の手のようだ

Romanisation

kokoro shimetsukerarete nanigoto ni mo doujinai
hazu datta puraido wa mou haru dake nasakenai

shi ni kaketa tatakai demo watashi wa watashi de
iru koto ga dekita noni
doushite kimi wo mae ni suru tabi
kihon ga kuzureru teibougyo ni natte shimau
kore ga yo ni iu hansoku waza to rikai shita ga ososugita na
ah kawatte yuku kachikan to ikigai to kurushimi ga ushinaware
kokoro shimetsukerarete nanigoto nimo doujinai
hazu datta puraido wa mou haru dake nasakenai
kodou ga ayatsurenai shinjita chikara wa kimi no
yasashii udezuku mogaita akago no te no you da

itteki mo koborenai sake ga doushite to iu
sotodzura wa nan to demo dekiru sa
mondai wa soko ja nai
kikkake nado ari mo sezu
muboubi ni yatte kuru
watashi rashikunai kanjou domo
fumitsuketemo kie yashinai
ah hitei dekinu kachikan to ikigai to kurushimi ga sokonaware
shizuka na atsui omoi dare nimo shiraretakunai
imi no nai puraido ga mata yokei ni kurushimeru
kodou ga hayaku natte ima made no chikara wa sou
senmongai de koso kayotta kidzukitaku nakatta

mizukara yurashite ita kitai wo tanoshinde ita
sore nanoni maketaku wa nai daremo ga sou da to iu
mune ga shimetsukerarete kangaenai you ni shite
itsumo no jibun ni modorou tte mou kore nankaime?
kodou ga ayatsurenai shinjita chikara wa kimi no
yasashii ude de tsutsumareta akago no te no you da

Translation

My heart throbs, though nothing should have agitated me.
Now, I just act proud. How pitiful.

Even in a fight, close to death, I was able
To stay true to myself.
But why is it that each time I’m in front of you
My foundations collapse and I’m left defenceless?
I was too slow to realise that it was just foul play, so to speak.
Ah… I lost my changing values, my purpose in life, and my suffering.
My heart throbs, though nothing should have agitated me.
Now, I just act proud. How pitiful.
I can’t control my heart. The strength I believed in
Struggled against your tender force, like the hands of a baby.

Why is it that I don’t spill even a drop of saké?
Well, anything’s possible on the surface.
That’s not the problem.
Without even a motive,
Feelings so unlike me
Breached my defences
And now, even if I trample them, they won’t disappear.
Ah… My values, my way of life, and my suffering wound me.
I don’t want anyone else to know of my silent, passionate thoughts.
My meaningless pride torments me once more.
My heart beats quicker. The power I had up until now
  Traveledoutside my comfort zone. I didn’t want to realise it.

Naturally rocking to and fro, I enjoyed feeling anticipation.
Even so, I didn’t want to lose. But that’s what everyone says.
My heart throbs. I’ll return to who I was before
So I won’t need to think too hard. But how many times has it been now?
I can’t control my beating heart. The power I believed in
Was wrapped up by your tender hands, like those of a baby.