変態 || Metamorphosis

変態
hentai
Metamorphosis

Vocals: クルフカ (Krufka)
Lyrics: citrus
Composed by: citrus
Upload date: 9 August 2021

Requested by: Joulupukki
Watch the official video on YouTube.
(Warning: contains disturbing imagery)


歌詞

どうしてこんなさもしいいきものなのでしょう
見ないで…… 知らないで……
まだ人間になれていないの

嫌えなかった 潰せなかった
僕が人間に見えたから
裏返されて藻掻くこの様で
皆の笑みが引き攣っていくのに
煮崩れた頭で手繰るさながらそれは
躰に糸を掛けて ぶら下る人間の蛹

溜息が聞こえる
君のコップで溺れる蟲の気持ち

きづいたの
蟲ですらなかったこと
わたしもしらないわたしの不衛生が
あなたの珈琲に滲んでいく
いつかの朝には
わたしが居ないといいですね
人間か蟲か 或いは
うまれなかったみたいに

要らない脚を数えて
自惚れた卑屈に世界を救わされるの
空想しよう 私の躰は簡単に散らばって
本当の屑になれる ずっと間違っていたの
蛍光灯の黒点になって 埃と一緒に掃き捨てられたなら
いのちへの憐れみを ひとなみの優しさを
騙りあうことはもうないでしょう
さもしい妄想を白く上塗りしたら
きっとモルタルに埋まるように貴方とお喋りする

まるで胡蝶の夢の夢
窓のサッシで轢き潰されてアルミと共に変温しよう
いいきみだ
きみがわるいきみがわるいんだよ
黒い油に塗れて私の目と目が合う
目を背けたことすら忘れてしまうような
わたし以外の何かに変態しよう
人間か蟲か 或いは うまれなかったみたいに
誰かが赦しをくれるまで うまれかわりなおす
僕をさわらないで 指先からとろけて
貴方が混ざるようで嫌だ
終わりと始まりをぐずぐずに掻き雑ぜて
拉げた蛹殻から 私が流れていく
まさに胡蝶の夢の夢の……

Romanisation

doushite konna samoshii ikimono nano deshou
minaide… shiranaide…
mada ningen ni narete inai no

kiraenakatta tsubusenakatta
boku ga ningen ni mieta kara
uragaesarete mogaku kono sama de
minna no emi ga hikitsutte iku noni
nikuzureta atama de taguru sanagara sore wa
karada ni ito o kakete burasagaru ningen no sanagi

tameiki ga kikoeru
kimi no koppu de oboreru mushi no kimochi

kidzuita no
mushi de sura nakatta koto
watashi mo shiranai watashi no fueisei ga
anata no koohii ni nijinde iku
itsuka no asa ni wa
watashi ga inai to ii desu ne
ningen ka mushi ka arui wa
umarenakatta mitai ni

iranai ashi o kazoete
unuboreta hikutsu ni sekai o sukuwasareru no
kuusou shiyou watashi no karada wa kantan ni chirabatte
hontou no kuzu ni nareru zutto machigatte ita no
keikoutou no kokuten ni natte hokori to issho ni haki suterareta nara
inochi e no awaremi o hitonami no yasashisa o
katari au koto wa mou nai deshou
samoshii mousou o shiroku uwanuri shitara
kitto morutaru ni umaru you ni anata to oshaberi suru

maru de kochou no yume no yume
mado no sasshi de hiki tsubusarete arumi to tomo ni hen’on shiyou
ii kimi da
kimi ga warui kimi ga warui nda yo
kuroi abura ni nure watashi no me to me ga au
me o somuketa koto sura wasurete shimau you na
watashi igai no nanika ni hentai shiyou
ningen ka mushi ka arui wa umarenakatta mitai ni
dareka ga yurushi o kureru made umare kawari naosu
boku o sawaranaide yubisaki kara torokete
anata ga mazaru you de iya da
owari to hajimari o guzu guzu ni kaki mazete
hishigeta sanagi kara kara watashi ga nagarete iku
masa ni kochou no yume no yume no…

Translation

Why are they so selfish?
Don’t look… don’t worry…
I haven’t become human yet.

I couldn’t hate them, I couldn’t crush them
because I looked human.
I was turned inside out and I squirmed just like this,
though everyone’s smiles grew stiff.
With a half-finished head, I was pulling in
human cocoons, dangling with bodies wrapped in thread.

I hear sighs.
I feel like a bug drowning in your cup.

I realised
that I’m not even a bug.
My squalor, unknown to even me,
is blurring into your coffee.
If only I’d disappear
one of these mornings.
Am I human or a bug?
It’s as if I was never born.

I count legs I don’t need.
Will the world be saved by conceited servility?
I’ll daydream, picturing my corpse scattering so easily.
I’ll become true trash. I was wrong all along.
I’ll become a dark spot in a fluorescent light. If I was swept away with the dust
then we wouldn’t deceive each other about our pity for life
and our ordinary kindness.
Once I paint over my selfish delusions in white
I’ll talk to you like I’m buried in mortar.

It’s like a dream of a butterfly’s dream.
Let’s get crushed by the window frame and change temperature with the aluminium.
Serves you right.
It’s eerie. It gives me the creeps.
My eyes meet, covered in black oil.
It’s like I’ve forgotten how to look away.
I’ll metamorphose into something other than me.
Human or bug? Or maybe like I’d never been born.
I’ll be reborn until someone forgives me.
Don’t touch me. I’m melting from my fingertips.
It’s like you’re mixing into me. I can’t stand it.
I slowly shovel the beginning and the end together
and I flow from the squashed cocoon.
It truly is a dream of a butterfly’s dream of a…

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