迯避論 || Escapism

迯避論
touhiron
Escapism

Vocals: ななひら (Nanahira)
Lyrics: かめりあ (Camellia)
Composed by: かめりあ (Camellia)
Album: SLEEP! (すりーぷ!) 【Official Site】
Circle: Confetto
Event: C90

Requested by: Frenz Fregnier

The lyrics to this song are written really interestingly. It all seems to check out upon first glance, but some of the characters are Chinese variants of kanji, or are older variants. Perhaps that’s an issue with the lyrics source, or perhaps it was a creative choice by the lyricist.


擦れきった迯避論 抱えて歩いた
溜った澱が溢れそうなんだ
不満は圧えた 殼の内側 霉生す吋前さ
彼の空も 雲も 朝も 僕も総て

surekitta touhiron kakaete aruita
tamatta yodomi ga afuresou nanda
fuman wa osaeta kara no uchigawa kabi musu zuzen sa
ano sora mo kumo mo asa mo boku mo subete

I walked while embracing sly escapism.
My accumulated sediment seems close to overflowing.
I endured discontent. Inside my husk, mould is on the verge of growing.
Everything—that sky, the clouds, the dawn, and me…

正觧探して藻搔いて 潰れながら笑って 氣付けば哭いていて
悲しさばかり部屋の中 飛び囘っている 涙が濁って迹引く位

seikai sagashite mogaite tsubure nagara waratte kidzukeba naite ite
kanashisa bakari heya no naka tobimawatte iru namida ga nigotte ato hiku kurai

I struggled, searching for the right answer. I smiled while I failed. Before I knew it, I was weeping.
Only sadness lies inside this room. I go this way and that. My tears grow cloudy, enough to leave traces.

電話切って投げ棄てた 怒聲が怖しかったから
眼を瞑り迯げ果てた 眠れもしないのにさ
雨音が嬉しかった 考えたくなかったから
何故胷の中 斯様にも晻いのかなんて

denwa kitte nagesuteta dosei ga osoroshikatta kara
me o tsuburi nigehateta nemure mo shinai noni sa
ameoto ga ureshikatta kangaetaku nakatta kara
naze mune no naka konna ni mo kurai no ka nante

I hung up and threw the phone down. I was frightened of cries of wrath,
So I shut my eyes and escaped, though I couldn’t even sleep.
The sound of rainfall made me happy, since I didn’t want to think.
Why is it so dark in my heart?

錆附いた自己定義 厭に為る程
その眼で見詰て 迯て來た ずうっと
瀝青が隠した 幼き頃の 衜まで續けよ
彼の空へ 雲へ 朝へ 僕へ續け

sabitsuita jiko teigi iya ni naru hodo
sono me de mitsumete nigete kita zuutto
rekisei ga kakushita osanaki koro no michi made tsudzuke yo
ano sora e kumo e asa e boku e tsudzuke

My self-definition had grown so rusty I couldn’t stand it.
You looked at me with those eyes and ran away all that time.
Keep going, even to the streets of childhood hidden by the asphalt.
Continue to that sky, to the clouds, to the dawn, and to me.

誰も機械なのだと 動く人形なのだと懐った 其程嘘に溺れた

daremo kikai nano da to ugoku ningyou nano da to omotta sore hodo uso ni oboreta

I thought that everyone was a machine, and that they were all dolls. I was so far submerged in lies. (1)

街路何所迄も往った 他人が怖しかったから
靜けさ求めていた 知らない塲所でもいい
偶然小徑で竦んだ 彼の日へ繋っていたから
何も知らなかった頃の 僕が華奢にたっていた

gairo doko made mo itta tanin ga osoroshikatta kara
shizukesa motomete ita shiranai basho demo ii
guuzen komichi de sukunda kano hi e tsunagatte ita kara
nani mo shiranakatta koro no boku ga kyasha ni tatte ita

I travelled so far down the road because strangers were so frightening.
I sought silence, even if it was in an unfamiliar place.
By coincidence, I cowered on the path because it was tied to that day.
I, from the days when I knew nothing, stood daintily.

理觧はしている 巻戻せないと
それでも悔やんだ 毁れる位に
此の先 亾した眞白な僕に
壹日だけ會えるなら

rikai wa shite iru makimodosenai to
sore demo kuyanda kowareru kurai ni
kono saki nakushita masshiro na boku ni
ichinichi dake aeru nara

I understood that I couldn’t turn back time.
Even so, I felt enough regret to bring me to tears.
I am dead, with a body snow white, yet after this
if I could only spend one more day with you…

錆附いた自己定義 厭に為る程
その眼で見詰て 迯て來た ずうっと
瀝青が隠した 幼き頃の 衜まで續けよ
彼の空へ 雲へ 朝へ 僕へ續け

sabitsuita jiko teigi iya ni naru hodo
sono me de mitsumete nigete kita zuutto
rekisei ga kakushita osanaki koro no michi made tsudzuke yo
ano sora e kumo e asa e boku e tsudzuke

My self-definition had grown so rusty I couldn’t stand it.
You looked at me with those eyes and ran away all that time.
Keep going, even to the streets of childhood hidden by the asphalt.
Continue to that sky, to the clouds, to the dawn, and to me.

(空へ 雲へ 朝へ 僕へ續け)

(sora e kumo e asa e boku e tsudzuke)

(Continue to the sky, to the clouds, to the dawn, and to me.)


(1) 其程信じて貰えなかった (sore hodo shinjite moraenakatta – You wouldn’t believe that much for me.) was written in the lyrics source, but it is not sung.

Petals

secretalePetals

Vocals: ななひら (Nanahira)
Lyrics: かめりあ (Camellia)
Composed by: かめりあ (Camellia)
Album: Secretale 【Official Site】
Circle: Confetto
Event: C91

Requested by: Meriole

Minor update (3/09/2019): Altered the line beginning with 弱く閉じた瞼.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

光と暗闇のように 初めから
冷たい鉄の天秤の上だと 分かっていた

hikari to kurayami no you ni hajime kara
tsumetai tetsu no tenbin no ue da to wakatte ita

From the beginning, I knew that I was on top of cold, metal scales.
I knew it, like I knew light and darkness.

もしどこか別の場所で巡り合う運命なら
何度も思った 時の音は鳴り止まなかった

moshi dokoka betsu no basho de meguri au unmei nara
nando mo omotta toki no ne wa nari yamanakatta

If it’s our fate to meet again somewhere else, then it’s something I thought about
Countless times. The sounds of time did not stop ringing.

失われていった か弱いその温度が
淀み果てた空を 望んでいた色に変える

ushinawarete itta kayowai sono ondo ga
yodomi hateta sora wo nozonde ita iro ni kaeru

Your feeble warmth, which I lost,
Turns the stagnated sky into the colour I wanted it to be.

答えのないパズルだった 初めから
正しさに身を委ねるか 全てを諦めるか

kotae no nai pazuru datta hajime kara
tadashisa ni mi wo yudaneru ka subete wo akirameru ka

It was a puzzle without an answer, even from the very start.
Should I devote myself to righteousness? Or should I give up on everything?

剣を振るうのも 弓を放つのも
怖くない それなのに震えて 躊躇っている

ken wo furuu no mo yumi wo hanatsu no mo
kowakunai sore nanoni furuete tameratte iru

Wielding a sword and firing a bow
Don’t scare me. Even so, I’m shaking, and I hesitate.

求める希望の夢 手を伸ばせば伸ばすほど
選択肢は尖り 残酷なほど近づく

motomeru kibou no yume te wo nobaseba nobasu hodo
sentakushi wa togari zankoku na hodo chikadzuku

I pursue a hopeful dream, but the more I stretch out my hands,
The more my alternatives taper away. I come so cruelly close…

傷だらけのその手が 救ってくれたこの手
握っているのは 君を倒すための光

kizu darake no sono te ga sukutte kureta kono te
nigitte iru no wa kimi wo taosu tame no hikari

Your hands, covered in wounds, saved me.
In my hands, I grasp light so I can defeat you.

弱く閉じた瞼 世界はきっと知らない
その明日の轍に 散っていく闇夜の欠片

yowaku tojita mabuta sekai wa kitto shiranai
sono asu no wadachi ni chitte iku yamiyo no kakera

The world surely doesn’t know of your weakly closed eyes.
Fragments of the night fall among the furrows of tomorrow.

全て終わったなら きっと会いに来よう

subete owatta nara kitto ai ni koyou

If everything has come to an end, then please come to me…

失われていった か弱いその温度が
淀み果てた空を 望んでいた色に変える

ushinawarete itta kayowai sono ondo ga
yodomi hateta sora wo nozonde ita iro ni kaeru

Your feeble warmth, which I lost,
Turns the stagnated sky into the colour I wanted it to be.