クーロンズ・ホテル || Kowloon’s HOTEL

クーロンズ・ホテル
kuuronzu hoteru
Kowloon’s HOTEL

Vocals: 鏡音リン (Kagamine Rin)
Lyrics: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Composed by: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Album: てにをは文庫 (Teniwoha Bunko)
Artist: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Release Date: December 30, 2018

Requested by: Innomi
Watch the official video here!

A few Chinese words are scattered throughout this song. Apart from the place names, we also have 可愛 (ke’ai, cute) and 一定再見 (yiding zaijian, see you soon).


アンタが去ってあれからずっと
この街雨続きだ
ノックをやめない狗頭のベルボーイ
仏陀の香草 巡る抗争
雌キメラ解体ショウ
eat it it it it it it eat it
eat it it it it it it eat it up

anta ga satte are kara zutto
kono machi ame tsuzuki da
nokku o yamenai kutou no berubooi
budda no kousou meguru kousou
mekimera kaitai shou
eat it it it it it it eat it
eat it it it it it it eat it up

Since you left, the rain has kept falling
here in this neighbourhood.
The dog-headed bellboy won’t stop knocking.
There’s a dispute over Buddha’s herb
and there’s a show where the lady chimera is split up.
Eat it it it it it it eat it.
Eat it it it it it it eat it up.

幸・不幸 福を乞う不幸
なんもかんも運命だろう

kou fukou fuku o kou fukou
nanmokanmo unmei darou

Good fortune, misfortune, and the unfortunate asking for good fortune—
It’s all up to fate in the end.

あれは”グッド”・バイ
なんかじゃなかったんだよ
あんたのヒール履いて暮らす獣性
いつもの闇医者ヤブが嗤って云った
「お大事にどうぞ」
che che che che che check out
che che che che check out

are wa “guddo” bai
nanka ja nakatta nda yo
anta no hiiru haite kurasu juusei
itsumo no yabu ga waratte itta
“odaiji ni douzo”
che che che che che check out
che che che che check out

That’s a “good”-bye,
But that’s not what it was at all.
An animal’s nature lives while wearing your heels.
The usual back-alley doctor sneered and said:
“Take care…”
Che che che che che check out.
Che che che che check out.

Rave up Rave up 踊る
さよならと踊る
吠えるから ねえ応えて
そこに居んだろ?
Wow Wow
可愛 可愛 幻
一定再見 いつか
匂いも声も顔さえ忘れるんだろ
Oh Oh

Rave up Rave up odoru
sayonara to odoru
hoeru kara nee kotaete
soko ni in daro?
Wow Wow
ke’ai ke’ai maboroshi
yiding zaijian itsuka
nioi mo koe mo kao sae wasurerun daro
Oh Oh

Rave up, rave up and dance.
Dance as a farewell.
I’m howling, so hey, answer me.
Are you there?
Wow, wow.
A cute, cute illusion.
See you soon. One day,
Maybe I’ll even forget your smell, your voice, and your face too.
Oh, oh…

くるくるRoundabout 追いつけないや
もうほっといてくんないかな
ヘッドフォンをすませて
Rut Rut Rut

kurukuru Roundabout oitsukenai ya
mou hottoite kunnai kana
heddofon o sumasete
Rut Rut Rut

I can’t catch up with the spinning roundabout!
Can you just leave me alone?
I listen to my headphones.
Rut, rut, rut.

眼帯 亜人 風水電動機モーター
泣いてるのはだあれ
一切はまた空になりにけり
→check out
また眠れない

gantai ajin fuusui mootaa
naiteru no wa daare
issai wa mata kuu ni nari ni keri
→check out
mata nemurenai

Eyepatch. Subhuman. Feng sui electric motor.
Who’s crying?
Everything’s emptying out once more, isn’t it?
→check out
Again, I can’t sleep.

Rave up Rave up 歌う
さよならって歌う
空のドレスに隠したメッセージ
気づいてよ
Wow Wow
Rainy Rainy 行かないで
消えないで どうか
蕾のまんま開かない傘捨てて
Oh Oh

Rave up Rave up utau
sayonara tte utau
kara no doresu ni kakushita messeeji
kizuite yo
Wow Wow
Rainy Rainy ikanaide
kienaide douka
tsubomi no manma hirakanai kasa sutete
Oh Oh

Rave up. Rave up. I sing.
I sing my farewells.
A message was hidden in my empty dress.
Notice it!
Wow, wow.
Rainy. Rainy. Don’t go.
Don’t vanish, please.
I cast away my unopened umbrella, which remains a bud.
Oh, oh.

まだまだRoundabout 止まんないや
おんなじ場所ループ&リープ
肝心なとこ文字化け
繝ゥ繝�

madamada Roundabout tomannai ya
onnaji basho ruupu riipu
kanjin na toko mojibake
Rut Rut Rut

The roundabout won’t stop yet.
It loops and leaps around the same place.
The essential parts are all garbled.
Rut, rut, rut.

机上の九龍 架空の神龍
誰かを愛す気持ちはUNKNOWN
砂上の九龍 未踏の崑崙
最上階に隠してあんの

kijou no kuuron kakuu no shenlong
dareka o aisu kimochi wa UNKNOWN
sajou no kuuron mitou no kunlun
saijoukai ni kakushite an no

Theoretical Kowloon. Aerial Shenlong.
The feeling of loving someone is UNKNOWN.
Kowloon, built on sand. Untrodden Kunlun,
Hidden away on the top floor.

Outsider また”空”になりにけり
Up side down また龍になりにけり

Outsider mata “kuu” ni nari ni keri
Up side down mata ryuu ni nari ni keri

Outsider. I’m “emptying” out once more, aren’t I?
Up side down. I’ll become a dragon once more, won’t I?

Rave up Rave up 踊る
さよならと踊る
吠えるから ねえ応えて
そこに居んだろ?
Wow Wow
可愛 可愛 幻
一定再見 いつか
匂いも声も顔さえ忘れるんだろ
Oh Oh

Rave up Rave up odoru
sayonara to odoru
hoeru kara nee kotaete
soko ni in daro?
Wow Wow
ke’ai ke’ai maboroshi
yiding zaijian itsuka
nioi mo koe mo kao sae wasurerun daro
Oh Oh

Rave up, rave up and dance.
Dance as a farewell.
I’m howling, so hey, answer me.
Are you there?
Wow, wow.
A cute, cute illusion.
See you soon. One day,
Maybe I’ll even forget your smell, your voice, and your face too.
Oh, oh…

クルクルRoundabout 追いつけないや
もうほっといてくんないかな
ヘッドホンをすませて
エンドロールに銃声鳴って
ロビーでまた迷って
Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut

kurukuru Roundabout oitsukenai ya
mou hottoite kunnai kana
heddohon o sumasete
endorooru ni juusei natte
robii de mata mayotte
Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut Rut

I can’t catch up with the spinning roundabout!
Can you just leave me alone?
I listen to my headphones.
A gunshot rings out during the credits
and I wander in the lobby again.
Rut, rut, rut, rut, rut, rut, rut.

せんせ || Professor

せんせ
sense
Professor

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Lyrics: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Composed by: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Album: 女学生探偵物語 (Schoolgirl Detective Stories)
Artist: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Release Date: October 26, 2016

Requested by: Tempera
Watch the official video here!

We don’t see the usual detective references and double meanings in this song, but we do see a lot of wordplay and onomatopoeia.


イーっだ! いつも偏屈
ベーっだ! 別にいんだもん
なんだかんだ云ったってもうあたしは名探偵

ii da! itsumo henkutsu
bee da! betsu ni inda mon
nanda kanda itta tte mou atashi wa meitantei

I hate it! He’s always perverse.
Bleh! Not like I care anyway.
(1)
Even if he says this and that, I don’t care! I’m a famous detective.

さあいい加減起きてください もうそろそろお昼ですよ
今日は締め切りなんでしょう? 担当さんが来ちゃいます
そんな顔で睨んだって怖くなんてありません
ほら淹れたての珈琲です……ってどうしてほっぺを引っ張るの
せんせ

saa ii kagen okite kudasai mou soro soro o-hiru desuyo
kyou wa shimekiri nandeshou? tantou-san ga kicha imasu
sonna kao de niranda tte kowaku nante arimasen
hora iretate no koohii desu… tte doushite hoppe o hipparu no
sense

Come on now—wake up, please. It’ll be lunchtime soon.
Isn’t today the deadline? The manager’s coming here.
It doesn’t matter if you glare at me like that. I’m not scared.
Look, you left your coffee after making it… huh? Why are you pulling on my cheek?
Professor!

けんぱけんけんぱ
乙女の密室気になるの?
じゃんけんじゃんけんほい
タネも仕掛けもございません
せんせ せんせ
今度の原稿どうですか?
せんせ せんせったら
まだ終わらないの
kenpa kenkenpa
otome no misshitsu ki ni naru no?
jan ken jan ken hoi
tane mo shikake mo gozaimasen
sense sense
kondo no genkou dou desuka?
sense sense ttara
mada owaranai no

Detecting, det-det-detecting. (2)
Are you interested in the maiden’s locked room?
Rock, paper, rock, paper, scissors!
There aren’t any tricks or gadgets.
Professor, professor,
How’s the manuscript looking this time?
Professor, come on professor!
You’re still not finished…

くるくるくるまわってニャンコの目
せんせとあたしじゃ歩幅が違うから
前に前に走る前へもっと推理推理推理
じゃんけんぽん 置いてっちゃヤですよ
チヨコレイト

kuru kuru kuru mawatte nyanko no me
sense to atashi ja hohaba ga chigau kara
mae ni mae ni hashiru mae e motto suiri suiri suiri
jan ken pon oite ccha ya desu yo
chokoreito

The cat’s eye spins round and round and round.
The length of my stride is different to the Professor’s
so we race ahead, taking our reasoning even further.
Rock, paper, scissors. I hate it when he leaves me behind!
Chocolate.

イーっだ! いつも偏屈
ベーっだ! 別にいんだもん
なんだかんだ云ったってもう事件は起きてる
ふんだ! もう大人ですよーだ! 笑わないで!
そーだ! 外に出ましょう 図書館行きましょ

ii da! itsumo henkutsu
bee da! betsu ni inda mon
nanda kanda itta tte mou jiken wa okiteru
fun da! mou otona desuyoo da! warawanaide!
soo da! soto ni demashou toshokan ikimasho

I hate it! He’s always perverse.
Bleh! Not like I care anyway.
Even if he says this and that, I don’t care. An incident is happening.
Hmph! I’m an adult, you know. Don’t laugh!
That’s right! Let’s head out. Let’s go the library.

珈琲お代わりどうですか? まだまだ原稿真っ白ですねえ
それ! と駆け出しすってんころりん 推理間違え大慌て
ガキじゃガキじゃとおっしゃいますが ガキが探偵するもんですか
オッチョコチョイノチョイ だからどうしておさげを引っ張るの!
せんせ!

koohii okawari dou desuka? mada mada genkou masshiro desunee
sore! to kakedashi sutten kororin suiri machigae ooawate
gaki ja gaki ja to osshaimasu ga gaki ga tantei suru mon desuka
occhoko choi no choi dakara doushite osage o hipparu no!
sense!

Would you like another coffee? You haven’t even started your manuscript yet…
“That’s it!” You start to run off but fall over. Your haste led to an error in deduction.
You state that I am a child, but would a child be a detective?
You’re such a skittery scatterbrain, so why are you pulling on my braids?
Professor!

ね うし とら うー
はじめチョロチョロ中パッパ
たつ み……なんだっけ?
雲雀鳴いてもフタ取るな
せんせ せんせ
いつになったら出かけるの?
せんせ せんせったらねぇ
まったくもう

ne ushi tora uu
hajime choro choro chuu pappa
tatsu mi… nan dakke?
hibari naitemo futa toru na
sense sense
itsu ni nattara dekakeru no?
sense sense ttara nee
mattaku mou

Rat, Ox, Tiger, Hare—
Start at a simmer, then flare up the flames.
(3)
Dragon, Serpent… what comes next? (4)
The skylark may cry, but don’t take off the lid.
Professor, Professor!
When can we leave?
Professor, come on Professor!
Seriously, I’ve had enough.

ワンツースリーでまたまた難事件
せんせとあたしで残らず解決
前に前に泳ぐ前へもっとスイムスイム&睡眠
あっちむいてほい ほらあたしの勝ちです
こっちむいてほい

wan tsuu surii de mata mata nanjiken
sense to atashi de nokorazu kaiketsu
mae ni mae ni oyogu mae e motto suimu suimu & suimin
acchi muite hoi hora atashi no kachi desu
kocchi muite hoi

One, two, three… dangerous incidents pop up again and again
but the Professor and I will solve them all!
We’ll swim on and on and swim ahead and sleep.
Look that way—yeah! See, it’s my victory.
Look this way—yeah!

わんつさんしー
いつ む なな や

wan tsu san shii
itsu mu nana ya

One, two, three, four,
Five, six, seven, eight!

くるくるくるまわってニャンコの目
せんせとあたしじゃ歩幅が違うから
前に前に走る前へもっと推理推理推理
じゃんけんぽん 置いてっちゃヤですよ
チヨコレイト

kuru kuru kuru mawatte nyanko no me
sense to atashi ja hohaba ga chigau kara
mae ni mae ni hashiru mae e motto suiri suiri suiri
jan ken pon oite ccha ya desu yo
chokoreito

The cat’s eye spins round and round and round.
The length of my stride is different to the Professor’s
so we race ahead, taking our reasoning even further.
Rock, paper, scissors. I hate it when he leaves me behind!
Chocolate.

ワンツースリーでまたまた難事件
せんせとあたしで残らず解決
前に前に泳ぐ前へもっとスイムスイムスイミング
原稿に夢中になってるその間に
レディになるの

wan tsuu surii de mata mata nanjiken
sense to atashi de nokorazu kaiketsu
mae ni mae ni oyogu mae e motto suimu suimu suimingu
genkou ni muchuu ni natteru sono aida ni
redi ni naru no

One, two, three… dangerous incidents pop up again and again.
The Professor and I will solve them all!
We’ll swim on and on and go swimming ahead.
While you’re engrossed in your manuscript,
I’ll become a lady.

今に見ててね

ima ni mitete ne

Just you wait and see.


(1) ベーっだ! (bee da!) is what people say when performing the ‘akanbe’ gesture (sticking out your tongue and pulling down your eyelid).
(2) けんけんぱ (kenkenpa) means ‘hopscotch’ by itself, but it is likely that the word is used here as a play on けんぱ (kenpa, detecting i.e. using radio waves).
(3) This line is part of a traditional song used to assist in boiling rice. The full version is discussed here (link in Japanese).
(4) The first and third lines of this stanza refer to the animals in the Chinese zodiac.

うしろめたフィクション || Guilty Fiction

うしろめたフィクション
ushirometa fikushon
Guilty Fiction

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Lyrics: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Composed by: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Album: 女学生探偵物語 (Schoolgirl Detective Stories)
Artist: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Release Date: October 26, 2016

Requested by: Tempera
Watch the official video here!

I say this all the time, but Teniwoha’s works demand knowledge of Japanese mystery tropes and wordplay to be interpreted. There’s a tension between what’s written and what isn’t written – each line could use at least one translation note.

This particular track places its focus on the Raven. We’ve heard him mentioned before, but we don’t really know who he is. Perhaps this track will make things clearer…?

Also, the title is unusual. うしろめた is just a little bit off 後ろめたい (ushirometai), which actually means ‘Guilty’. Getting rid of
い turns it into a verb, which is fine, except うしろめる isn’t actually a verb…


ナゾトキせずとも読者は死せず
某某氷菓子
薄口醤油をかけまして 生卵ととく そのこころは?
なにも意味などございません

nazotoki sezu to mo dokusha wa shi sezu
soregashi nanigashi koorigashi
usukuchi shouyu o kakemashite namatamago to toku sono kokoro wa?
nani mo imi nado gozaimasen

The reader does not die, though they do not solve the riddle.
Somebody, so-and-so, and sherbet…
I call it soy sauce and explain it as raw egg. As for the reason…?
(1)
Well, there’s no meaning to it at all!

いざヨナ抜き ラッパ呑み呑み
鯖のビッチ 魅せろ凶器の五段活用
「ヤツを逃がすな。変装だ!」

iza yona nuki rappa nomi nomi
saba no bicchi misero kyouki no godan katsuyou
“yatsu o nigasu na. hensou da!”

Now, engulf them with a pentatonic scale from the trumpet!
You mackerel b****. I’ll charm you with deadly verb conjugations.
(2)
“I won’t let him get away. Time to disguise!”

ネヴアモア
蝶のようにマイウェイ 蜂のようにさすらい
ナンマンダブステップで涅槃 うしろめたフィクション
ネヴアモア
皆様知らざあ云って聞かせましょう
「二度とはございません。」

nevamoa
chou no you ni maiuei hachi no you ni sasurai
nanmandabusuteppu de nehan ushirometa fikushon
nevamoa
minasama shirazaa itte kikasemashou
“nido to wa gozaimasen.”

Nevermore.
I go my way, like a butterfly. I roam like a bee.
I find salvation through my faith in dubstep. Guilty fiction.
(3)
Nevermore.
Nobody knows? Well, let me tell you…
(4)
“This won’t happen twice.”

Honey Hot Head とんでもないね これぞ外連味
ツァラトゥストラはとく片栗粉
take it easy テキトーで言いぜ 遠い未来のトロイメライ
現実要らずの優れもの

Honey Hot Head tondemonai ne kore zo keren mi
tsaratusutora wa toku katakuriko
take it easy tekitoo de ii ze tooi mirai no toroimerai
genjitsu irazu no sugure mono

Honey hot head. It’s outrageous! It’s just a bluff.
I’ll explain Zarathustra as starch.
Take it easy. You gotta say it casually. Dream about the distant future.
The superior ones don’t need reality.

いざニロ抜き やっぱノリノリ
鯖の煮付け 腹が減っては戦は出禁

iza niro nuki yappa nori nori
saba no nitsuke hara ga hette wa ikusa wa dekin

Now, a minor pentatonic scale! That’s lively, too.
Mackerel and veggies in soy sauce. You can’t fight on an empty stomach!

「ヤツの真の目的は、探偵育成なのだ」
「な、な、なんだってー!?」

“yatsu no shin no mokuteki wa, tantei ikusei na no da”
“na, na, nanda tte!?”

“His true motive is… to train detectives.”
“Wh-wh-whaaat?!”

ネヴアモア
「チッチッチ」甘いぜ Who’s in Rise in And rumble
Kick you なんて素敵なキッチュ 抱きしめたフィクション
ネヴアモア
週末にゃあの娘とグランギニョる御予定
述べるNovel 机上の暴論?

nevamoa
“chicchicchi” amai ze Who’s in Rise in And rumble
Kick you nante suteki na kicchu dakishimeta fikushon
nevamoa
shuumatsu nya ano ko to guranginyoru go-yotei
noberu Novel kijou no bouron?

Nevermore.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk” How naive. Who’s in rise in and rumble?
Kicking you would be such splendid kitsch. I held fiction close to me.
Nevermore.
This weekend, I have plans for Grand Guignol with that young lady.
I note that novel. Is there an irrational academic argument?

さあさあかわいい探偵さん お代は解いてのお孵りだ

saa saa kawaii tantei san odai wa yoite no okaeri da

Now, now, my adorable detective! Your fee will hatch from your solution.

いつか素敵な大人になれますか?
「二度とない」
先生はまともな人になれますか?
「二度とない」
怪盗っていったいなんですか?
「二度とない」
鴉は罰を受けて黒くされたんですか?
「二度とない」「二度とない」「二度とない」

itsuka suteki na otona ni naremasuka?
“nido to nai”
sensei wa matomo na hito ni naremasuka?
“nido to nai”
kaitou tte ittai nan desuka?
“nido to nai”
karasu wa batsu o ukete kuroku sareta ndesuka?
“nido to nai” “nido to nai” “nido to nai”

Can I someday grow into a wonderful adult?
“It won’t happen twice.”
Can you become an honest man, Professor?
“It won’t happen twice.”
What on earth is that thief, anyway?
“It won’t happen twice.”
Did the Raven receive their punishment and become blackened?
“It won’t happen twice.” “It won’t happen twice.” “It won’t happen twice.”

ネヴアモア
蝶のようにマイウェイ 蜂のようにさすらい
ナンマンダブステップで涅槃 うしろめたフィクション
ネヴアモア
皆様知らざあ云って聞かせましょう
我こそ大鴉ってなもんさ
ずっとずっとあいこでしょ。

nevamoa
chou no you ni maiuei hachi no you ni sasurai
nanmandabusuteppu de nehan ushirometa fikushon
nevamoa
minasama shirazaa itte kikasemashou
ware koso oogarasu tte na mon sa
zutto zutto aiko desho.

Nevermore.
I go my way, like a butterfly. I roam like a bee.
I find salvation through my faith in dubstep. Guilty fiction.
Nevermore.
Nobody knows? Well, let me tell you…
“I myself am the grand raven” or, something like that.
It’ll always, always be even between us.


(1) This pattern (○○とかけて△△と解く。その心は□□) is a type of wordplay called なぞかけ (Nazokake).
(2) 鯖のビッチ (saba no bicchi) appears to be a corruption of サノバビッチ (sano ba bicchi – son of a b****).
(3) ナンマンダブステップ is a corruption of なんまんだぶ (nanmandabu), a Buddhist expression of faith.
(4) This phrase was made popular in kabuki, and now appears often in anime and manga.

名探偵連続殺人事件 || The Serial Murders of Great Detectives

名探偵連続殺人事件
meitantei renzoku satsujin jiken
The Serial Murders of Great Detectives

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Lyrics: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Composed by: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Album: 女学生探偵物語 (Schoolgirl Detective Stories)
Artist: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Release Date: October 26, 2016

Requested by: Tempera
Watch the official video
here!

I translated another track from this series previously. This track takes the references to the next level – it makes it tough to translate, because so much more meaning can be gained from what you hear, rather than from what you read. Realistically, every line could use a translation note!

I was lucky enough to find a blog post in Japanese that outlines a lot of the references. I’ve placed the list at the bottom of the translation – see if you can hear them all!

Like usual, there’s a bit of an introduction in the video description:
“Professor! For the first time in a while, we’ve got a big incident!”
It was a Japanese summer: the schoolgirl detective’s summer.


悪漢ベヰカーストリヰト雷雨 七つ道具は質屋へ
悪路井戸落とされ探偵がまた一人姿を消したといふ
綾なす辻のAlice側 横溝掃除は江戸川か
神田最弱探偵さん こんなんどう? 居ると思う?

akkan beikaa sutoriito raiu nantsu dougu wa shichiya he
akuro ido otosare tantei ga mata hitori sugata o keshita to iu
ayanasu tsuji no Alice gawa yokomizo souji wa edokawa ka
kanda saijaku tantei-san konnan dou? iru to omou?

Scoundrel! Storm clouds gathered on Baker Street. The tools of the trade were headed for the pawnshop.
They say a detective was dropped into the evil alley’s well—like that, another was bumped off.
Near the brightly decorated street, Arisugawa, is Yokomizu cleaning Edokawa?
So, weakest detective in Kanda, what do you think? Do they exist?

ナンマンダブ ステップ踏み 脳髄是密室なりや
グーとチーで合った人 愚と智で分かれましょう
謎解きはこれから

nan man dabu suteppu fumi nouzui kore misshitsu nari ya
guu to chii de atta hito gu to chi de wakaremashou
nazotoki wa kore kara

Lord have mercy. I tread on the steps, and my brain is a locked room.
Rock, scissors, who matches? We’ll use it to group them into wise and foolish people.
The riddle’s solution is coming up:

「犯人はあなたですね」

“hannin wa anata desu ne”

“You’re the culprit!”

列車トリック 発火トリック 難事件
推理作家の先生さん 『阿破破』
うーだらぱーだらうーだらぱーだら云わないで
ああもう頭がこんがらがってきたけれど

ressha torikku hakka torikku nan jiken
suiri sakka no sensei-san “ahaha”
uudara paadara uudara paadara iwanaide
aa mou atama ga kongaragatte kita keredo

Train tricks, fire tricks, and accidents.
The professor is a mystery writer. “Ahaha!”
Don’t talk nonsense to me!
Enough already! My head’s already all tangled up in this…

どっとはらい どっと混む 熱茶々々々 巴里巴里(パリパリ)
海鷂魚(えい) 鰤 場で椀子蕎麦「謎はおやつに入りません」
どっとはらい どっと混む 熱茶々々々 丼舎利貪舎利(どんしゃりどんしゃり)
エブリバディアリバイないないない

dotto harai dotto komu accha cha cha cha pari pari
ei buri ba de wanko soba “nazo wa oyatsu ni hairimasen”
dotto harai dotto komu neccha cha cha cha donshari donshari
eburibadi aribai nai nai nai

That’s that. Dot com. Accha cha cha cha! Paris, Paris.
Stingrays, yellowtails, wanko soba served at that place: “Riddles shouldn’t be eaten as snacks.”
That’s that. Dot com. Accha cha cha cha! Donshari, donshari.
Everybody has no alibi, no alibi!

花紋

kamon

Come on… (1)

etcラヰヘンバッハ鴉啼き 番台さん突いて御清聴
織り笑むと旧校舎の窓あの怪盗達が待つといふ
高木(こうぼく)に二人 海野原 坂口暗号無視したろう?
ABCだか恵比寿だか 「檸檬どう?」ちゃんとして

etc raihenbahha karasu naki bandai-san tsuite go-seichou
ori emu to kyuu-kousha no mado ano kaitou-tachi ga matsu to iu
kouboku ni futari unno hara sakaguchu angou mushi shitarou?
ABC da ka ebisu da ka “remon dou?” chanto shite

etc Reichenbach. The raven cries. The attendant was stabbed, pay kind attention.
They say the phantom thieves await at the window of the former school building with smiles all stitched up.
Two people are in a tall tree. The sea field. Did they ignore Sakaguchi’s code?
Is it ABC or Ebisu? “How are the lemons?” Be serious!

甲が乙を隠す そんじゃ降参鑑識さんお疲れさん
四捨五入やってみな 死者五人どこいった
謎解きはまだまだ

kou ga otsu o kakusu son ja kousan kanshiki-san otsukaresan
shisha gonyuu yatte mina shisha gonin doko itta
nazotoki wa mada mada

The plaintiff hides the defendant. Like that, surrender. Thanks, forensics!
Let’s try rounding up – where did the five dead people go?
The solution is still distant…

「そして誰がいなくなった?」

“soshite dare ga inaku natta?”

“And then who died” (2)

およしになって おやめになって 怪事件
おさげ揺らす探偵さん 『探偵さん』
ノックスべゐべ ガストンべゐべ 行かないで
and more 作者(先生)のヰヂワルは毎度

oyoshi ni natte oyame ni natte kai jiken
osage yurasu tantei-san “tantei-san”
nokkusu beibe gasuton beibe ikanaide
and more sensei no ijiwaru wa maido

They stop and give up when faced with this strange incident.
The detective, with braids swaying… “Detective!”
Knox baby, Gaston baby, don’t go…
and more… the professor’s (author’s) teasing comes every time.

どっとはらい どっと混む 熱茶々々々 巴里巴里(パリパリ)
海鷂魚(えい) 鰤 場で椀子蕎麦「たまには自分で考えたまえ」
どっとはらい どっと混む 熱茶々々々 丼舎利貪舎利(どんしゃりどんしゃり)
エブリバディアリバイないないない

dotto harai dotto komu accha cha cha cha pari pari
ei buri ba de wanko soba “tama ni wa jibun de kangae tamae”
dotto harai dotto komu neccha cha cha cha donshari donshari
eburibadi aribai nai nai nai

That’s that. Dot com. Accha cha cha cha! Paris, Paris.
Stingrays, yellowtails, wanko soba served at that place: “Try thinking for yourself sometimes!”
That’s that. Dot com. Accha cha cha cha! Donshari, donshari.
Everybody has no alibi, no alibi!

怪盗連盟の罠にはまり、次々と姿を消していく名探偵達
そして探偵の居ぬ間に人々の心は密室となった

kaitou renmei no wana ni hamari, tsugi tsugi to sugata o keshite iku meitantei-tachi
soshite tantei no inu ma ni hito bito no kokoro wa misshitsu to natta

Plunged into the phantom thief alliance’s trap, the great detectives disappeared one by one.
And, while the detectives were away, people’s hearts became locked rooms.

「でも、それならどうしてあたしだけが無事だったんでしょうか?」
「その答えはひとつしか考えられない」
「と、云うと……?」
「あまりに無能すぎるが故に、きみは探偵として勘定にも入れられていなかったのだ!」
「いーやー!」

“demo, sore nara doushite atashi dake ga buji datta ndeshou ka?”
“sono kotae wa hitotsu shika kangaerarenai”
“to, iu to…?”
“amari ni munou sugiru ga yue ni, kimi wa tantei toshite kanjou ni mo hairerarete inakatta no da!”
“iiyaa!”

“In that case, why am I the only one who’s safe?”
“I can only think of one answer.”
“And what’s that…?”
“You’re so incompetent you haven’t even been counted as a detective!”
“Nooooo!”

およしになって おやめになって 怪事件
おさげ揺らす探偵さん 『探偵さん!』
ノックスべゐべ ガストンべゐべ 行かないで
and more 作者(先生)のヰヂワルヰケズ
列車トリック 発火トリック 難事件
推理作家の先生
うーだらぱーだらうーだらぱーだら云わないで
ああもう頭がこんがらがってきたけれど
こわいいかわいや トリック暴いて通りゃんせ

oyoshi ni natte oyame ni natte kai jiken
osage yurasu tantei-san “tantei-san”
nokkusu beibe gasuton beibe ikanaide
and more sensei no ijiwaru ikezu
ressha torikku hakka torikku nan jiken
suiri sakka no sensei-san
uudara paadara uudara paadara iwanaide
aa mou atama ga kongaragatte kita keredo
kowaii kawai ya torikku abaite tooryan se

They stop and give up when faced with this strange incident.
The detective, with braids swaying… “Detective!”
Knox baby, Gaston baby, don’t go…
and more… the professor’s teasing is so wicked.
The professor is a mystery writer.
Don’t talk nonsense to me!
Enough already! My head’s already all tangled up in this…
Scary or cute? When I divulge the tricks, you may enter.


(1) 花紋 (kamon) literally means ‘flower pattern’, but has likely been used to represent the English phrase ‘come on’.
(2) The Japanese phrase そして誰がいなくなった? is a play on the title of Agatha Christie’s novel ‘And Then There Were None’ (そして誰もいなくなった)

Author references:

Ayatsuji Yukito
Arisugawa Arisu
Yokomizo Seishi
Edokawa Ranpo
Conan Doyle
Van Dine
Tsutsui Yasutaka
Matsumoto Seichou
Takagi Akimitsu
Unno Juuza
Sakaguchi Ango
Kurihara Mushitaro
Raymond Chandler
Yamamoto Koushi
Otsuichi
Ronald Knox
Gaston Leroux

能面島神隠し事件 || The Spiriting Away at Nohmenjima

sd能面島神隠し事件
noumen-jima kamikakushi jiken
The Spiriting Away at Nohmenjima

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Lyrics: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Composed by: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Album: 女学生探偵ロック (Schoolgirl Detective Rock)
Artist: てにをは (Teniwoha)
Release Date: June 26, 2013

Requested by: Tempera

It’s tough coming into a series partway through, but I was lucky enough to find a guide to the characters that appear in this song. Slightly paraphrased, the bios can be translated as follows:

久堂蓮真 (Kudou Renma) – A mystery writer (32 years old). This is their pen name. He’s between 175-180cm tall, and is a head taller than Hibari. He ends up being courted by beautiful women whenever he gets caught up in an incident. He always teases Hibari, and is a bit of a Dom/S.

花本ひばり (Hanamoto Hibari) – The amateur schoolgirl detective (17 years old). She helps out Professor Kudou. She’s a big fan, and is charmed by his adult sex appeal. She’s frank and somewhat impudent.

枯島宗達 (Kareshima Soutatsu) – He’s the son an heir of an antique bookshop in Kanda. He wears round glasses and has white hair. He’s an acquaintance of Hibari and Professor Kudou.

怪盗大鴉(Kaitou Oookarasu – Phantom Thief Raven) – A mysterious man who appears at the climax of the video. He wears a raven-like mask and a black cloak. He says the phrase “Do you want some clues, oh Great Detective?”

The lyrics themselves are pretty complex. Some of the kanji clearly represent English words, so I interpreted them as such. There are some places where two sentences are written and pronounced the same – I added those in brackets.

There are also sections that could be from Hibari’s point of view, others that can be from Professor Kudou’s point of view, and others that serve as ‘interviews.’ Let me know what you think! My interpretation is always evolving…

As for the title, 能面島 (Noumenjima) literally means ‘Noh Mask Island’. 能 is traditionally romanised as ‘Noh’ so I kept it that way. There’s also a little introductory section:

“I can smell the scent of a mystery in the sea breeze…! It’s the fruit of the sea, Professor!”
“…Looks like I’ve got no time to drag you along, torture you, or crush you underfoot this time.”
?? “I’ve been waiting, Professor…!”


先生! 取材で阿 阿 あたしを
置いて行っちゃうなんて やっ やっ 嫌ですよ
「きみは話をろくろく聞いちゃない」
剣呑あまつさえ 轟々(ごうごう)天つ風

sensei! shuzai de a a atashi o
oite icchau nante ya ya iya desu yo
“kimi wa hanashi o roku roku kiichanai”
kennon amatsu sae gougou amatsu kaze

Professor! You can’t leave me behind
when you go out to collect data!
“You’ve barely listened to a word I’ve said.”
It’s risky, and besides, the wind is blowing a gale…

船上で散々 酔い酔い
ほっぺ抓らないで とうとう到着
ねんねこや 繰る繰る
見頃の秘祭に舞舞い 吉祥天(起承転)

senjou de sanzan yoi yoi
hoppe tsuneranaide tou tou touchaku
nenneko ya kuru kuru
migoro no hisai ni maimai kisshouten (kishouten)

On board the ship, I got seasick.
Don’t pinch my cheek! Finally, we’ve arrived.
Time to sleep. Flip through the pages…
It’s the best time for this secret festival. We dance. Sri-mahadevi (Introduction, development, turn). (1)

身も世もなく――
『伝承諳(そら)んじ朗々(ろうろう) 井戸繁盛湧き水滔々(とうとう)』
隠(鬼)と祀られ
『財貨のあやなす宝刀 生涯外せぬ仮面はとうとう……』
髪梳(と)かし(神と化し)

mi mo yo mo naku…
“denshouan soranji rourou ido hanjou wakimizu toutou”
oni to matsurare
“zaika no ayanasu houtou shougai hazusenu kamen wa toutou…”
kami to kashi

It’s hopeless…
“Memorise the legends, and things are clear. Water gushes from the abundant well.”
They were worshipped as something to be hidden (a demon).
“A commodified, decorated sword. They hadn’t taken that mask off their whole life, but finally…”
They comb out their hair. (They become a god.)

作家先生 暴君変人 阿破破ノ破
破天荒 悪天候 !(感嘆符)『般若!』
現場には花柄アッパッパーのパー
ねえどっちなの? どっちなの? 真犯人 懊!
推理に夢中 ちゅう ちゅう ちゅう

sakka-sensei boukun henjin ahaha no ha
hatenkou akutenkou !(kantanfu) “hannya!”
genba ni wa hanagara appappaa no paa
nee docchi nano? docchi nano? shinhannin o!
suiri ni muchuu chuu chuu chuu

The writing professor; the tyrannic eccentric. Ah ha ha ha!
Unprecedented bad weather! (Exclamation mark) “Hannya!”
At the scene of the crime lay a floral summer dress.
Hey, who is it? Who is it? The true culprit… oh!
I’m in a trance of deduction, deduction, deduction…

猟奇漂う怪しい事件に先生
「秘すれば花なり。みなまで云うな」と
そしてホワイダニット 阿破破 悪い顔
なんかせんせの方が犯人みたいな顔してますね

ryouki tadayou ayashii jiken ni sensei
“hisureba hana nari. mina made iu na” to
soshite howai danitto ahaha warui kao
nanka sense no hou ga hannin mitai na kao shitemasu ne

Faced with a mysterious incident tainted with the macabre, the professor said:
“Things are more beautiful when kept secret. Don’t tell anyone…”
So, why did they do it? Ah ha ha ha! A wicked face.
You know, Professor, your face makes it seem like you’re the one who did it…

鬼子鬼子――
『舞尉(まいじょう)中将(ちゅうじょう)悪尉(あくじょう)雷神さんもたらす豊穣』
何処へ消える
『斬奸状(ざんかんじょう) 南京錠 牢獄 当家は代々婿取婚(むことりこん)』
神隠し

onigo onigo
“maijou chuujou akujou raijin-san motarasu houjou”
izuko e kieru
“zankanjou nankinjou rouhoku touke wa daidai mukotorikon”
kamikakushi

The demonic child…
“Maijou, Chuujou, Akujou, the God of thunder brings us this good harvest.” (2)
Where do they disappear to?
“The assassin’s letter justifies their killing. Padlock. Prison. This house, for generations, married off its daughters.”
Spirited away…

女学生探偵 まさかのあれれのれ?
もう迷宮入り 迷宮入りで ?(疑問符)『はんにゃ?』
刑事さんも匙(さじ)投げ 腕に輪っぱっぱのぱ
怪士(あやかし)甘やかし 夢遊病 悩!
推理に夢中 ちゅう ちゅう ちゅう

jogakusei tantei masaka no arere no re?
mou meikyuuiri meikyuuiri de? (gimonfu) “hannya?”
keiji-san mo saji nage ude ni wappappa no pa
ayakashi amayakashi muyuubyou nou!
suiri ni muchuu chuu chuu chuu

The schoolgirl detective… Is something unexpected happening?
We’re at a dead end. A dead end…? (Question mark) “Hannya?”
The detective gives up, too. They have handcuffs on their wrists!
An Ayakashi, a spoilt child, and a sleepwalker… No! (3)
I’m in a trance of deduction, deduction, deduction…

春は山河ほころんだったらにっちもさっちも朗らか朗らか
旦那さんが口論だったら天罰 旱魃(かんばつ)子々孫々

haru wa sanga hokorondattara nicchi mo sacchi mo hogaraka hogaraka
danna-san ga kouron dattara tenbatsu kanbatsu shishisonson

If spring makes the mountains and rivers open up, then things aren’t clear at all.
If the master argues, the they’ll receive divine punishment: drought upon their descendants.

『おちゃらか おちゃらか』
はにかみ黒髪
『おちゃらか おちゃらか』
おさげを解いて
『おちゃらか おちゃらか』
けだし恋耽々

“ochara ka ochara ka”
hanikami kurokami
“ochara ka ochara ka”
osage o hodoite
“ochara ka ochara ka”
kedashi koi tantan

“Gently, gently…”
Oh, shy girl with black hair…
“Gently, gently…”
Untie your braids.
“Gently, gently…”
Perhaps she’s hostile to love.

月照らす冬の供養
不安と夢想 不安と夢想 懐旧談(かいきゅうだん)
「手掛かり欲しいか? 名探偵」
もう意地悪 意地悪 大嫌い!

tsuki terasu fuyu no kuyou
fuan to musou fuan to musou kaikyuudan
“tegakari hoshii ka? meitantei”
mou ijiwaru ijiwaru daikirai!

A winter memorial service is held in the moonlight.
Anxiety and visions, anxiety and visions… reminiscing on the past.
“Do you want some clues, oh Great Detective?”
Seriously, you’re such a bully! I hate you!

作家先生 暴君変人 阿破破ノ破
破天荒 悪天候 !(感嘆符)『はんにゃー!』
現場には花柄アッパッパーのパー
ねえどっちなの? どっちなの? 真犯人 懊悩!

sakka-sensei boukun henjin ahaha no ha
hatenkou akutenkou !(kantanfu) “hannya!”
genba ni wa hanagara appappaa no paa
nee docchi nano? docchi nano? shinhannin ou no!

The writing professor; the tyrannic eccentric. Ah ha ha ha!
Unprecedented bad weather! (Exclamation mark) “Hannya!”
At the scene of the crime lay a floral summer dress.
Hey, who is it? Who is it? The true culprit… oh no!

阿破破ノ破

ahaha no ha

Ah ha ha ha!

推理に夢中 ちゅ ちゅ ちゅ

suiri ni muchuu chu chu chu

I’m in a trance of deduction, deduction, deduction…


(1) 吉祥天 (Kisshouten) is a Japanese deity and wife of Bishamonten. Her name can be directly translated as ‘auspicious skies’.
(2) 舞尉 (Maijou) 中将 (Chuujou) and 悪尉 (Akujou), like はんにゃ (Hannya), are all Noh masks.
(3) 怪士 (Ayakashi) is another Noh mask.