自首 || Surrender

自首
jishu
Surrender

Vocals: 初音ミク (Hatsune Miku)
Composed by: RINGO
Lyrics: RINGO
Release Date: October 31, 2018

Requested by: Giovanalc

Update (30/03/2019): Added translation of video text.

There are two specific ‘you’s in this track – kimi (君) and anata (あなた). Kimi feels like it’s being said by a man to a woman, and anata feels like it’s being said by a woman to a man.

Also, the text seen in the video is different to the lyrics of the song. I’ve added a translation of this at the bottom.


あの日確かに満たされた
間違いなく幸せだった
これで直ると思ったんだ
ハッピーエンドってさ

ano hi tashika ni mitasareta
machigai naku shiawase datta
kore de naoru to omotta nda
happii endo tte sa

Certainly, I was fulfilled that day.
I was happy, no doubt about it.
I thought that would be enough to fix me—
A happy ending.

抱きしめられたとき何が生まれた?
一人に戻って何が変わった
君はどこまでも卑しい人間だ
底なしの欲望だ

dakishimerareta toki nani ga umareta?
hitori ni modotte nani ga kawatta
kimi wa doko made mo iyashii ningen da
soko nashi no yokubou da

What was born when I was embraced?
When I returned to being alone, what changed?
You are an utterly vulgar human.
Your lust is bottomless.

傷を晒すのも
大概にしな
それで他人の気を引ける程

kizu o sarasu no mo
taigai ni shina
sore de tanin no ki o hikeru hodo

Generally, I don’t
expose my wounds.
It’s enough for me to attract others.

可哀想な人じゃないのさ
君はわかってるだろ

kawaisou na hito ja nai no sa
kimi wa wakatteru daro

I’m not a pitiful person.
Perhaps you understand already…

ああ、ごめんなさい、ごめんなさい
どうかどうか忘れてください
ああ、ごめんなさい、許してください
私を忘れてください
どうかどうか忘れてください

aa, gomennasai, gomennasai
douka douka wasurete kudasai
aa, gomennasai, yurushite kudasai
watashi o wasurete kudasai
douka douka wasurete kudasai

Ah… My apologies, my apologies.
Please, please, forget about me.
Ah… My apologies, please forgive me.
Forget all about me.
Please, please, forget about me.

二人と君は違う
悲しいほどに君は中途半端だ
誰の心も捉えられない
惨めな出来損ないさ

futari to kimi wa chigau
kanashii hodo ni kimi wa chuuto hanpa da
dare no kokoro mo toraerarenai
mijime na deki sokonai sa

You’re different to that pair—
You’re so careless it’s sad
and you can’t capture anyone’s heart.
You’re a wretched failure.

もう描くことができない残念ね
もう奏でることができない虚しいね
君はどこまでも卑屈で
誰の役にも立てない

mou kaku koto dekinai zannen ne
mou kanaderu koto ga dekinai munashii ne
kimi wa doko made mo hikutsu de
dare no yaku ni mo tatenai

You can’t draw anymore. Bad luck.
You can’t play your instrument anymore. How futile.
You are an utterly menial human.
You’re of no use to anyone.

助け求めるのをやめてしまえば?
救いを受け入れられないのなら

tasuke motomeru no o yamete shimaeba?
sukui o ukeirerarenai no nara

What if you stopped asking for help?
If, after all, you can’t accept any aid…

それで欲しいものが
手に入るなど甘くないのはわかってるよな

sore de hoshii mono ga
te ni hairu nado amakunai no wa wakatteru yo na

And, you must know
that it’s too hard to get what you want.

愛されたいか
許されたいか
そばにいたいか
そばにいて欲しいか

aisaretai ka
yurusaretai ka
soba ni itai ka
soba ni ite hoshii ka

You want to be loved?
You want to be forgiven?
You want to be by my side?
You want me to be by your side?

愛されたいか
許されたいか
そばにいたいか
そばにいて欲しいか

aisaretai ka
yurusaretai ka
soba ni itai ka
soba ni ite hoshii ka

You want to be loved?
You want to be forgiven?
You want to be by my side?
You want me to be by your side?

本当に好きなら
愛してるなら
今すぐこの曲を止めて
何もなかったかのように

hontou ni suki nara
aishiteru nara
ima sugu kono kyoku o tomete
nani mo nakatta ka no you ni

If you really like me,
If you really love me,
Then stop this song right away
as if it had never played.

生きろ

ikiro

Live!

生きろ

ikiro

Live!

生きろ

ikiro

Live!

ああ、ごめんなさい、ごめんなさい
あなたのものになりたかった
ああ、ごめんなさい
許してください
私を忘れてください
どうかどうか忘れてください

aa, gomennasai, gomennasai
anata no mono ni naritakatta
aa, gomennasai
yurushite kudasai
watashi o wasurete kudasai
douka douka wasurete kudasai

Ah… My apologies, my apologies.
I wanted to be yours.
Ah… my apologies.
Please forgive me.
Forget all about me.
Please, please, forget about me.

ああ、ごめんなさい、ごめんなさい
どうかどうか忘れてください
ああ、ごめんなさい
愛していました
私を忘れてください
どうかどうか忘れてください

aa, gomennasai, gomennasai
douka douka wasurete kudasai
aa, gomennasai
aishite imashita
watashi o wasurete kudasai
douka douka wasurete kudasai

Ah… My apologies, my apologies.
Please, please, forget about me.
Ah… my apologies.
I loved you.
Forget all about me.
Please, please, forget about me.


VIDEO TEXT

ごめんなさい
たいへんなめにあっている
あなたをほうっておくことができなかった
わたしがいなくなってもかわることはない

I’m sorry.
You’re suffering through something terrible.
I couldn’t leave you alone.
If I wasn’t there, nothing would change.

あなたにすくわれてばかりではなく
わたしもあなたのやくにたちたかった
たとえおおくのつみをせおうことになっても
わたしはきずいてもかまわない

Rather than being helped out by you all the time,
I wanted to be of some use to you.
Even if it meant that I’d bear the weight of a heavy sin,
I wouldn’t care even if I was wounded.

これはわたしのえごです

This is my ego.

じぶんのためにいきてきた
わたしへのばつなのです

I lived only for myself.
This is punishment, aimed directly at me.

これはわたしのえごです

This is my ego.

わたしへのばつなのです
じぶんのことばかり

It’s punishment, aimed directly at me,
for thinking only of myself.

現在を過去と重ねて生きていた
夢の中を歩いていた
人の温もり
惨めな冷たさ
あまりの温度差に心に穴が空いて
しまったのです。
今まさに、過去に生きていて
私にはなにもなくて
だからこそ独占欲のようなものが
疎外感
劣等感
となり私を蝕んでいる。
一生”ひとり”なのだと。
あなたはひとりじゃない

I lived while superimposing the past on the present.
I was walking around in a dream.
Human warmth.
Wretched coldness.
The temperature difference ended up opening a hole
in my heart.
There’s no doubt—now, I am living in the past.
I have nothing
and that’s why my desire to have things all to myself becomes
alienation…
inferiority…
Those feelings eat away at me.
I know that I’ll be “alone” forever.
You’re not alone.

あなたとわたしはちがう
きょうつうてんすらけっていてきにちがう
そのさはうめることができないのでしょう
おなじになる おなじになりたかった

You and I are different.
Even the things we have in common are decisively different.
I suppose there’s no way we’ll close that gap.
We become the same. I wanted us to be the same.

あなたのたすけになることができたら
すごくつらい くるしい さびしい でも
あなたがしあわせなら
あなたがのぞむようなものをあなたが
つくりだせろ あなたがのぞむような
にんげんかんけい かんきょう
わたしはそれがしあわせだと
いまも そうおもいです。

If I could come to your aid, it would be
a little difficult, painful, and lonely. Still,
If you’re happy, then as for the things you want…
Make them! Create the relationship
and the environment that you want.
Even now, that’s what I think
happiness is.

あなたにすくわれてばかりではなく
あなたにあたえられてばかりではなく
そうじゃない 私では駄目だと
失敗してばかり。

Rather than being helped out by you all the time,
Rather than being given things by you,
That’s not it—I’m useless.
I do nothing but fail.

私は要らなくない
私は独りじゃない
私は幸せである
私は恵まれている
私は要らなくない
幸せなのです
私は幸せである
生きます。未来を信じて

I’m not unwanted.
I’m not lonely.
I’m happy.
I’m blessed.
I’m not unwanted.
I’m definitely happy.
I’m happy.
I’ll live, believing in the future.

私は要ら**ない
私は独り****
今すぐこの曲を止めて
希望を持って生きます。

I’m *** unwanted.
I’m *** alone.
I’ll stop this song, right away,
And live with hope.

生きろ

Live!

生きられない

I can’t live…

思い出が私を引き裂きました
ふざけて笑いあっていたかった
欲しかったぬくもりも
今の惨めな孤独感も
あまりの温度差に心に穴が空いて
正気ではいられない。
愛とは一体何なのでしょうか。
私は誰の特別にもなれなくて
独占欲のようなものが
疎外感
劣等感
となり私を蝕んでいる。
一生”ひとり”なのだと。
わたしは独りじゃない

Memories tore me up.
I wanted us to play around and laugh together.
The warmth I wanted
and the wretched loneliness I feel now
open holes in my heart through the difference in their temperatures.
I can’t stay sane.
What could love be?
I can’t be anyone’s special person
and that’s why my desire to have things all to myself becomes
alienation…
inferiority…
Those feelings eat away at me.
I know that I’ll be “alone” forever.
I’m not alone.

ごめんなさい
ごめんなさい 生きられない
どうか 忘れてください。
こんな筈じゃなかった
大好きでした。
どうか 忘れてください。
私を 忘れてください。

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I can’t live.
Please, forgive me.
It wasn’t meant to be this way.
I loved you.
Please, forget me.
Forget about me.

10 thoughts on “自首 || Surrender

  1. Giovanalc March 6, 2019 / 5:08 am

    Thank you for translating this!

    Also, the video is not wrong. The original upload also had completly different different lyrics being shown on screen, while the actual lyrics to the song were in the description. I don’t know why, maybe RINGO was trying to pass a messege or something.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. fay March 6, 2019 / 7:51 am

    Thank you so, so much!!! I’m so happy to see this that my head could just explode!!! :’) :’) :’)

    Like Giovanalc said, you’re not wrong about the video. The sung lyrics didn’t appear to match what’s on the screen in the original upload– at the time I assumed it was another of RINGO’s cryptic messages.

    Either way, it means *so* much to me that you’ve helped us understand one of this legend’s last songs!! ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • releska March 6, 2019 / 8:06 am

      You’re most welcome! 😀 It’s interesting to know that the video’s lyrics are different to what’s sung… If someone out there was able to transcribe the video, I’d be happy to translate it – it might help us get closer to the heart of this song…

      Like

      • fay March 6, 2019 / 12:38 pm

        Ah, thank you so much for your enthusiasm to get to the bottom of this!! ^__^ This translation really did make my whole day!! ❤ ❤ ❤ :')

        I've been looking, but unfortunately, I can't seem to find a copy of the lyrics to the video. It looks like the person who translated this song into Russian wasn't able to find a transcript either, and that's the only other known translation. I'll keep my eyes and ears open, of course!

        Maybe if I subtitle the song to put it out there, someone might leave a helpful comment. :3c

        Liked by 1 person

          • releska March 6, 2019 / 2:21 pm

            Excellent!! Thank you very much! Unfortunately the spam filter on WordPress can overreact sometimes and treat comments with too much Japanese as spam 🙁 I will have a look at the Google Doc over the next few days and do my best to translate it…!

            Like

            • fay March 6, 2019 / 4:59 pm

              😀 😀 😀 asdfghjkl;; THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH… hype :’)

              Liked by 1 person

              • releska March 30, 2019 / 6:43 pm

                Just letting you know that I’ve added the video text! Hopefully it helps deepen the story of this song (^_^)

                Like

                • fay March 31, 2019 / 1:51 pm

                  Omg, this means more to me than I can say!! ❤ The on-screen text *absolutely* deepens the story of the song, in a heartbreaking way that goes beyond lyrics… 😦 RINGO's last message to the internet before she deleted most of her content was, without sugar-coding it, a suicide note. No one knows what happened after that, and I kind of doubt we ever will. It's nice to at least know what was going through her head, and how much she desperately wanted her fans to live on. I know that I definitely won't be forgetting her any time soon.

                  And now that the full translation is available, of course, I plan on making subs. At first, I was worried that reuploading her deleted content might be disrespectful, but I really do feel like it gives her English-speaking fans some closure—I know I got some from reading this, and it really means the world to me. ❤

                  Also, for some reason, the subtitles for "Egoist" and "World Faith Revival Zone" haven't been approved and published by the uploaders (yet?), but I figured it would be selfish to keep them all to myself. So, if you're interested in seeing them, I can make an actual account here and send you the files, along with the MVs. ^_^ I like to do things properly when I can, so don't worry, I have no plans to reupload those two anywhere.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • releska March 31, 2019 / 2:02 pm

                    I’m glad to hear that it’s given you closure, and I know I definitely won’t forget about her either 😦

                    As for the files, knowing that you went to the effort to put it all together is enough 🙂 You definitely don’t need to go to the trouble of sending the MVs through unless you’d really like to! Thanks again for all of your support!!

                    Like

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