愛花晴々 || My Beloved Flower is Cheerful

愛花晴々
aihana hare bare
My Beloved Flower is Cheerful

Vocals: 鏡音リン (Kagamine Rin)
Lyrics: mayuko
Composed by: mayuko
Upload Date: February 13, 2016

Requested by: Saryu
Watch the official video here!

This was a really interesting song to translate, since some parts felt like poetry – a succession of words and images with implied links. Perhaps the speaker loved someone but couldn’t tell them until it was too late…

The title is kind of Chinese in its construction, too. I interpret it as 愛[してる]花[は]晴々. It could also be ‘flowers of love’, but I think it refers to a specific flower (you – おまえさま, which is respectful yet archaic).


花のように愛らしいおまえさま
朝顔のように笑みを咲かせるのだろう
花のように愛らしいおまえさま
向日葵のように手を引くのだろう

hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
asagao no you ni emi o sakaseru no darou
hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
himawari no you ni te o hiku no darou

You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps I can make your smile bloom like a morning glory.
You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps I can take you like a sunflower.

想い連ね々早幾年
文の高さと重さは番うだろう
掠れた宛名に唇寄せて
吐き出す毒は喉にしまいこむ

omoi tsurane dzurane haya ikutoshi
fumi no takasa to omosa wa tsugau darou
kasureta atena ni kuchibiru yosete
hakidasu doku wa nodo ni shimai komu

My feelings are strung together, and the years passed by quickly.
I suppose my letter’s height and severity are linked.
I bring my lips close to the blurred name of the recipient
and hold the poison I vomited up in my throat.

厭うは陰に巣食いし
陰鬱なる性よ
悲しや
想い実らざる叶わざる
見えること勿れと
黒に身を潜めた

itou wa kage ni sukui shi
in’utsu naru saga yo
kanashi ya
omoi minorazaru kanawazaru
mieru koto nakare to
kuro ni mi o hisometa

My hatred nests in the shadows.
Oh, that melancholy nature of mine!
I am so sad.
My feelings do not bud. They are not fulfilled.
I must not be seen. And so…
I hid myself in the blackness.

花のように愛らしいおまえさま
梔子のように淡く照らすのだろう
花のように愛らしいおまえさま
紫陽花のように柔く包むのだろう

hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
kuchinashi no you ni awaku terasu no darou
hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
ajisai no you ni yawaku tsutsumu no darou

You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps you will shine faintly like a gardenia.
You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps I can softly wrap you up like a hydrangea.

想い連ね々早幾年
文の長さと重さは番うだろう
震えた言の葉指でなぞり
滲み出す毒は爪ににぎりこむ

omoi tsurane dzurane haya ikutoshi
fumi no takasa to omosa wa tsugau darou
furueta koto no ha yubi de nazori
shimi dasu doku wa tsume ni nigiri komu

My feelings are strung together, and the years passed by quickly.
I suppose my letter’s length and severity are linked.
I traced along the words with trembling fingers.
The oozing poison clings to my nails.

羨むは日向に在る
明朗なる姿
悲しや
想い届かざる至らざる
焼け落つこと勿れと
黒に身を沈めた

urayamu wa hinata ni aru
meirou naru sugata
kanashii ya
omoi todokazaru itarazaru
yakeotsu koto nakare to
kuro ni mi o shizumeta

The thing I envy is your cheerful figure
in the sun.
I’m so sad.
My feelings do not reach their destination. They don’t arrive.
I must not fall in flames. And so…
I sank into the darkness.

如月の命日に想い焦がさば紅
清廉な四肢をちらしけがしちぎりて
疾しさを映し塗り潰された
いとしいはずの顔は描けず
枯れた夢が嗤う

kisaragi no meinichi ni omoi kogasaba kurenai
seiren na shishi o chirashi kegashi chigirite
yamashisa o utsushi nuri tsubusareta
itoshii hazu no kao wa egakezu
kareta yume ga warau

When I pine for you during your death anniversary in the second lunar month—crimson.
In a shower of honest limbs, I violate myself by laying with another.
I cast my shame like a shadow, and it was painted over.
I can’t picture your face, which was meant to be so dear to me, in my mind.
My withered dream sneers.

花のように愛らしいおまえさま
竜胆のように艶やかに鳴くのだろう
花のように愛らしいおまえさま
水仙のように気高く濡れるのだろう

hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
rindou no you ni azayaka ni naku no darou
hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
suisen no you ni kedakaku nureru no darou

You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps you will sing beguilingly, like an autumn bellflower.
You are lovely, just like a flower.
Perhaps you will get wet sublimely, like a narcissus.

花のように愛らしいおまえさま
椿のように落ちるその前に
愛らしい形が変わらぬよう
影だけを褥に縛り付けた
押し花の永遠に娶らせた

hana no you ni airashii omae-sama
tsubaki no you ni ochiru sono mae ni
airashii katachi ga kawaranu you
kage dake o shitone ni shibari tsuketa
oshibana no eien ni okoraseta

You are lovely, just like a flower.
Before you fall like a camellia,
I hope your pretty form does not change.
I only bound shadows to my mattress.
I married you to an eternity as a pressed flower.

抱き寄せた嘘は甘くとろけた

dakiyoseta uso wa amaku toroketa

The falsehoods I held close sweetly melted away…

6 thoughts on “愛花晴々 || My Beloved Flower is Cheerful

  1. Saryu August 9, 2019 / 8:58 am

    More than it being “too late”, I get the feeling the singer might have murdered her beloved… At least, there seems to be some pretty serious mixed feelings in there.

    There’s this constant contrast between light and shadow, with the protagonist being associated with darkness and the other person with light. One thing I noticed is that, in the line “Oh, my melancholy nature”, the word for melancholy has the kanji for shadow in it, and the one used for the title’s “cheerful” has to do with clear skies, and thus indirectly sunlight. The other references are more obvious: “I envy your cheerful figure in the sun”, “I sink into the darkness”, “my hatred nests in the shadows”, etc. And in the last two quotes you can see the ambivalence I was talking about (technically it doesn’t say to whom the hatred is directed, so it could be a love rival or something like that, but economy of characters and the previous quote suggests otherwise).

    I think the singer might resent them because they feel they’re fundamentally incompatible, so all all the pain she feels about their unrequited love is ultimately pointless. You can kind of see it in “I musn’t fall to the flames” and how flowers need sunlight to live. So being together would be metaphorically lethal to them both. Orrr maybe not so metaphorically, since one of them did die.

    I’m not so sure about what happens in the last two stanzas. I’m not very clear on what “falling” means to someone who’s already been dead for at least a year, and whose form has probably changed very much since they were alive. Coupled with the “pressed flower” line, I thought maybe the singer had taxidermied the corpse or something, but if she has it around why can’t she remember its face? Maybe it’s just not the same when they’re eternally “asleep” (and that’s ignoring how the process might have gone wrong physically, since I doubt the she had much experience with it).

    Later I considered that maybe the grief got to her so badly that she forgot that her beloved was dead (hence why the first three sentences of the last chorus speak of them in the present tense, as if they were still alive), thus keeping them forever young and healthy in her own delusions. The “I bound only shadows to my matress” might then mean keeping only their shadow, as in just her idea of who they were instead of their entire living self, or might refer to her own nature, how by being all alone or laying with others, she’s staining the matress with her dark nature, when her beloved would’ve balanced it with their light (Sorry, rando she emotionally cheated with, you don’t get a light-related metaphor representing you! There isn’t enough song left so you gotta share the darkness with the protagonist). Of course, this would mean the singer and the dead person were at least briefly a couple, when I get more the impression that it was a pretty distant relationship, if not just stalking (See: “I must not be seen”). She always describes them as though she was looking from a distance and never mentions actually interacting in any way. I mean, it’s not even clear if they ever replied to her letters.

    This theory would make sense of the last line, which would be the moment she rediscovers their death. The transition to knowing to repressing it and back seems a little sudden and underexplained to me, though. Might be because of the poetic style, but it still feels like a stretch.
    Oh, since I’m already talking about the last part: Does “getting wet” have the same double entendre in Japanese? It struck me as an oddly lewd line at first, but maybe I’m looking too deeply into it. Narcisusses (?) do grow near water, so maybe that’s the intended association. Then again, I’m pretty sure there’s no kind of flower that “sings beguilingly”, so it’s hard to say how literally we’re supposed to take the flowers’ description.
    Also, do they have the idiom of “spitting venom” and such for saying cruel words? Honestly, that was the first thing that made me think of the murder theory; if they don’t, well, it’s hard to imagine any nice reasons for poisoning letters.

    …While writing this I got reminded of “A Clingy Boy Sticking Close for Fifteen Years” and realized there’s nothing suggesting the girl’s beloved was alive at the beginning of the song. Maybe they died a hundred years ago and she can see ghosts! (But probably not). I don’t feel like it’d add anything to the song if it were true, though, so I think I’ll just ignore that possibility.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Saryu August 13, 2019 / 1:00 pm

      Thanks for editing. What do you think of my theories? I’m especially curious about the idioms bit. On one hand I might be seeing meaning where there is none (or at least not the one I’m thinking of), but on the other hand the song is chock-full of metaphors so a little wordplay (or more like blurring the line between analogy and literal truth) would hardly be surprising.

      Liked by 1 person

      • releska August 13, 2019 / 7:12 pm

        That was a really interesting read! Those points that you raised, like the contrast between light and dark, follow closely with my own interpretation. My understanding of the underlying narrative is as follows:

        The speaker loves someone, but never tells them how they feel, though they attempt to write them a letter on several occasions. As they watch the one they love be happy with other people, they start to resent them. By the time they finally decide that enough’s enough and write the letter, their beloved has passed away. Their feelings are never conveyed. Though they still pine for their beloved, their feelings grow weaker as time passes and they meet new people. The letter has provided them with catharsis and their original love is preserved like a dried flower.

        Moving on to some of those grammatical points, though:

        ‘Spitting venom’ does exist as an idiom…! (毒を吐く) – it refers to someone saying something bad about someone (they talk about it on a woman’s blog here: https://woman.mynavi.jp/article/140510-55/)

        I can also confirm that yes, the same verb (濡れる) also refers to getting wet during sex. I think these comparisons are intrinsically impossible – the flower references may just be symbols of beauty. I was thinking, though, what if the flowers are actually people the speaker has been in a relationship with? Like, “perhaps you will sing beguilingly like the other person I was recently with.”

        Oh! That reminds me – I thought the use of ‘marry’ in the second last stanza was a little odd, so it should seem odd in the translation. The verb itself literally means ‘to take to wife/to marry a woman’, and it’s written in the causative form (so the speaker is making the recipient marry something).

        Reading your interpretation made me think of an alternative translation of the mattress line as well: “I only bound your shadow to my mattress.” All we get is 影 (kage – shadow), and no indication as to whether it’s singular or plural. If we look at it in this way, it strengthens the idea that the speaker cannot physically be with the one they love. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this – if you think it leads to a more cohesive interpretation, I’m happy to make that change to that line.

        In regard to the ‘falling’ part, technically a dead flower can be attached to a plant for a little while before it falls. Perhaps that what the speaker’s referring to?

        Either way, there’s definitely something fishy about how the cause of death isn’t mentioned. Perhaps there’s a bit of foul play going on…

        Like

  2. releska August 9, 2019 / 10:04 am

    Sorry about that (^_^); I let all the comments through – unsure if you’ll be able to edit them but I look forward to reading them later on…!

    Like

    • Saryu August 10, 2019 / 6:05 am

      I can’t edit them because I don’t actually have an account, I just chose the same name every time. That’s why sometimes my avatar changes.
      Either way, all of my post is up and in the right order, putting aside repeats and me complaining about WordPress*, so give it a look when you can! Maybe next time I’m having trouble with the filter I’ll number the parts and write down how many there are, it’d probably make reading it easier…

      * Is it possible to delete those after you’ve approved them? It’s not really important, but they kinda disrupt the flow of the text.

      Like

  3. Saryu August 20, 2019 / 5:40 am

    Re: the flowers representing different people. Um, maybe? Some of the verbs are pretty weird for people (“shine faintly”, “wrap you up”) and others are clearly not talking about flowers (“make your smile bloom” “sing”), so I feel like maybe the object changes throughout the song (though don’t ask me to point you to any particular pattern) or maybe these lines are here for ambience and you aren’t supposed to analyze too deeply. Hard to say.

    Well, “marry” was weird enough that I looked up to verb in a Japanese-English dictionary to see if I was missing anything, so I’d say mission accomplished! But I also feel like, despite being kind of nonsense in the surface, it does make some emotional sense? On one hand, there’s the obvious love connection*, but marriage is also about transformation. You stop being mainly the son/daugther of your family, a relatively lowly position, to become the head of a new one. So I can sort of understand using marriage as metaphor for a person going through a great fundamental change (becoming ‘”immortal” in this case) on an intuitive level, even though I couldn’t really build a logical connection between their dictionary definitions.

    *My first read of that line was something like “Since I cannot marry you, I will instead ‘marry’ you to eternity so that I will always be able to see you even if we can’t be together”. The fact that it’s marrying a woman especifically, when the singer can be assumed to be female, only reinforced my substitute/settling-for idea. But the main point is that I figured that that verb was being used literally and non-literally at the same time, explaining why the metaphor is pretty non-standard.

    As for the mattress line, I think that should be your choice. It’s ambiguous, probably deliberately so, so you can translate it two different ways and not have either be wrong. I’ll only say that if the idea is that the singer can’t have the rest of them, it’s probably better to write it as “I bound only your shadow to the mattress”. Putting it after the “I” gives me the feeling that they’re going “Well, I didn’t go any farther than that so don’t be mad” or like it was what all they wanted to do in the first place.
    “Only” can be kind of tricky like that. I remember a post that read ” ‘She said she loved him’. Now try putting ‘only’ in different places in that sentence and see how it changes”. You get a diferent meaning with practically every variation, it’s pretty interesting.

    Mmh, that’s a good point, though I still find it difficult to translate that line into literal facts. It’s pretty, ahem, flowery.

    I agree, though I think it’s less that there’s no mentioned cause and more the sudden timeskip that seems deliberately strange. Even if we assume the songwriter doesn’t really care about the guy and just wants to showcase the woman’s story, it’s still a pretty big oversight to leave out such an important moment and its inmediate consequences, especially since she’d be very affected. Why not show the murder, if she did it, or her grief and shock if she didn’t? Why not the mourning? We don’t even know if the death anniversary mentioned is the first one, or the first time she tried to drown her sadness with another. One would think these would be very significant parts, if the point of the song was the woman. And surely there was room for a single sentence about at least the death itself, if not all that, but instead it’s mentioned in a really offhanded way, as a mere accesory for the singer’s action, and then never mentioned again. He’s not even refered in the past tense afterwards. He’s just alive one line and the next he’s already nothing but bones and blurry memories,
    I didn’t consciously realize it at the time, but I think the amnesia/denial bit of my interpretation might have been influenced by the fact that there’s this huge, unexplained gap right where the most traumatic time in her life would be.
    It’s not just that the death itself it isn’t actually told on its own, it’s that it’s like it barely even had any consequences or like it’s in some quantum state where it sometimes happened and sometimes he’s still alive, just out of sight. It feels like the song is deliberately glossing over it, and it’s always suspicious when somebody is trying stop you from thinking too hard about something.

    This is 100% unrelated to this song, but I noticed you’re translating Kairiki Bear’s Ángel I’m looking forwards to it! One thing that the official lyrics didn’t include is that in the PV the subtitles for the “shiawase desu” that goes before “koko wa rakuen” change into “tsurai desu” right after the ‘fake’ line is sung. It took me a few times before I noticed it, so I thought I’d point it out and save you the trouble of editing if you wanted to include it in your translation.

    Liked by 1 person

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