石けんと薬 || Soap and Medicine

石けんと薬
sekken to kusuri
Soap and Medicine

Vocals: flower
Lyrics: nuyuri (ぬゆり)
Composed by: nuyuri (ぬゆり)
Album: protoplan
Circle: nulut
Event: C93

Requested by: Shea

I forgot how much I like nuyuri’s lyrics – I can never quite tell if I’ve interpreted them correctly, but they paint some interesting images and sound great. They feel almost… mathematical, I guess?


手に余るほどの 目には見えないはずの平凡を
壊して満たしてひた隠しきって 生活のために命を使って
喉元を見れば分からないものが巻き付いている
息が詰まる何秒か前までに頭の毒に自由を奪われる
飲み込みたければ現実を射抜いておくれよ
空が割れることを待っているだけ 何もしないままじゃ放っとけないから
貴方の不安は沢山の息から生まれている
「そばに居てほしい」なんて気休めだ
嘘も本当もどっちでも無いでしょう?

te ni amaru hodo no me niwa mienai hazu no heibon o
kowashite mitashite ita kakushi kitte seikatsu no tame ni inochi o tsukatte
nodomoto o mireba wakaranai mono ga makitsuite iru
iki ga tsumaru nanbyou ka mae made ni atama no doku ni jiyuu o ubawareru
nomikomitakereba genjitsu o inuite okure yo
sora ga wareru koto o matte iru dake nani mo shinai mama ja hottokenai kara
anata no fuan wa takusan no iki kara umarete iru
“soba ni ite hoshii” nante kiyasume da
uso mo hontou mo docchi demo nai deshou?

My mediocrity must have been invisible, and it was too much to handle.
I destroyed it, was satisfied, and then hid it. I use life for the sake of my livelihood.
I look at the base of my throat and see something unknown coiled around it.
I’m choking. The poison in my head stole my freedom until a few seconds ago.
If you want to drink it down, pierce through reality
because I can’t just leave you alone doing nothing, waiting for the sky to split apart.
Your unease was born from many breaths.
“I want to be with you.” That’s nothing but consolation.
It’s neither true nor false, is it?

あなたの思いは思い出になってしまった
古い空気を吸って吐き出しているだけ
浮かばない言葉を晴らすために追いつこうとしないでくれ!

anata no omoi wa omoide ni natte shimatta
furui kuuki o sutte hakidashite iru dake
ukabanai kotoba o harasu tame ni oitsukou to shinaide kure!

Your feelings became memories.
All I do is breathe and spit out stale air.
Don’t chase after me to clear away words that don’t come to mind!

追い風よさらば 一人で一人じゃない僕らは
例えばだけど 今更だけど 囚われ合いのまま
どうやって逝こうか すり潰されるために
あと少しだけ もう少しだけ
息が続くことを祈り震えている

oikaze yo saraba hitori de hitori ja nai bokura wa
tatoeba dakedo imasara dakedo toraware ai no mama
dou yatte ikou ka suritsubusareru tame ni
ato sukoshi dake mou sukoshi dake
iki ga tsudzuku koto o inori furuete iru

Farewell, o tailwind! We, who are alone yet not alone,
remain captive to each other, though it’s only an example and too late.
How shall I pass to be ground to dust?
Only a little longer, just a little longer now.
I tremble while praying to keep breathing.

細切れの恋を貼り縫い留め繋ぎ合わせて
それがどこの誰とも知らぬ人の生き餌になっていくことも知らずに
殺意を明かせば幾千の目線に焼かれていく
「神のみぞ知る」なんて今更 責任感もへったくれも無いでしょう?

komagire no koi o hari nuitome tsunagi awasete
sore ga doko no dare to mo shiranu hito no iki e ni natte iku koto mo shirazu ni
satsui o akaseba ikusen no mesen ni yakarete iku
“kami nomi zo shiru” nante imasara sekininkan mo hettakure mo nai deshou?

I stick down fragments of love and sew them together
without knowing that it’s becoming live bait for some unknown person out there.
If I reveal my intent to kill I’ll be burned by a thousand stares.
“God only knows.” It’s too late for that! I guess it’s to hell with a sense of responsibility, huh?

思い出はとうに振り返るべき過去になり
残りの僕らは選ぶのをやめていた
名前も意味も奪われたままの僕らを見放してくれ!

omoide wa tou ni furikaeru beki kako ni nari
nokori no bokura wa erabu no o yamete ita
namae mo imi mo ubawareta mama no bokura o mihanashite kure!

Memories have long become a past to think back on.
Those of us who remain had given up choosing.
Ignore us! We are those whose names and purpose were stolen away.

幼いまま 拙いまま 前だけを見据えていた
足元を狙う悪意に気取られて
倒したまま 壊したまま 終わりのまま見つめて
また次の視線を作る

osanai mama tsutanai mama mae dake o misuete ita
ashimoto o nerau akui ni kidorarete
taoshita mama kowashita mama owari no mama mitsumete
mata tsugi no shisen o tsukuru

Still so young, still so inept, I just looked back on what came before.
I was caught up in spite aimed underfoot.
While collapsed, while destroyed, I looked at the end as it was
and I created yet another perspective.

追い風よさらば 一人で一人じゃない僕らは
例えばだけど 今更だけど 囚われ合いのまま
どうやって逝こうか 野次馬の君のために
どこにも行けず 誰にもなれず
只の自分なのを怯え震えてろ

oikaze yo saraba hitori de hitori ja nai bokura wa
tatoeba dakedo imasara dakedo toraware ai no mama
dou yatte ikou ka yajiuma no kimi no tame ni
doko ni mo ikezu dare ni mo narezu
tada no jibun na no o obie furuetero

Farewell, o tailwind! We, who are alone yet not alone,
remain captive to each other, though it’s only an example and too late.
How shall I pass for the sake of you, an onlooker?
Unable to go anywhere, unable to be anyone,
I will tremble in fear of my ordinary self.

さらばさらば

saraba saraba

Farewell, farewell…

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