Why not by my side

Album art.
Album art.

Why not by my side

Vocals: 真野紫 (Mano Yukari)
Lyrics: Mano
Arranged by: 平茸 (Hiratake)
Album: Farewell, dear Old Adam
Circle: Aftergrow
Event: C99
Original theme: The Lost Emotion [亡失のエモーション]

Buy a digital copy of the album on BOOTH!

There are some complex sentence structures in this song. I get the feeling that the song uses the example of Hata no Kokoro as a way of describing the circumstances of one of the members of the Hifuu Club.


歌詞

哀しくはないよ もう哀しくはないよ
寂しいんじゃないよ 寂しくはないんだよ
どこからどこまで 夜と朝の狭間に
溶けてしまえたら 私じゃなくていいのに

曖昧な不安と焦がれ過ぎたフィクション
何ひとつだって変わらない

鏡越しなら笑い合える距離
手を伸ばすだけであなたに触れるはずなのに
去りゆく景色 追い掛けてしまう
いつかなくしたものを遠く見かけたような気がした

どうして今 思い出すんだろう

忘れたくないよ もう忘れたくないよ
ひとりにしないでよ 言えなかったその文字が
どこからどこまで 本当だったとしても
指から離れて 飛んでいけばいいのに

ありきたりな毎日 集めない不可思議と
何ひとつだってはなせないよ

この目に映るすべてが嘘でも
全部全部あの日から続く独り芝居でも
あと少しだけ 幕が下りるまで
空っぽの私で まだ……

仮面越しなら笑えているから
愛されるための感情を振る舞うほどには
愛せないだけ 泣けなくてもいい
いつか足りないピースが埋まるその時が来るまでは

どうして今 傍にいないんだろう

Romanisation

kanashiku wa nai yo mou kanashiku wa nai yo
samishii nja nai yo samishiku wa nai nda yo
doko kara doko made yoru to asa no hazama ni
tokete shimaetara watashi ja nakute ii noni

aimai na fuan to kogare sugita fikushon
nani hitotsu datte kawaranai

kagami-goshi nara warai aeru kyori
te o nobasu dake de anata ni fureru hazu nanoni
sari yuku keshiki oi kakete shimau
itsuka nakushita mono o tooku mikaketa you na ki ga shita

doushite ima omoidasu ndarou

wasuretaku nai yo mou wasuretaku nai yo
hitori ni shinaide yo ienakatta sono moji ga
doko kara doko made hontou datta to shitemo
yubi kara hanarete tonde ikeba ii noni

arikitari na mainichi atsumenai fukashigi to
nani hitotsu datte hanasenai yo

kono me ni utsuru subete ga uso demo
zenbu zenbu ano hi kara tsudzuku hitori shibai demo
ato sukoshi dake maku ga oriru made
karappo no watashi de mada…

kamen-goshi nara waraete iru kara
aisareru tame no kanjou o furumau hodo ni wa
aisenai dake nakenakutemo ii
itsuka tarinai piisu ga umaru sono toki ga kuru made wa

doushite ima soba ni inai ndarou

Translation

I’m not sad. I’m not sad anymore.
I’m not lonely. I’m not lonely at all.
If only it wasn’t me who was melting away
into the threshold between night and day.

My vague anxiety and the fiction I yearned too much for
all stay the same.

We’re far enough apart beyond the mirror to smile at each other
but I should have been able to touch you if I reached out.
I pursue the retreating landscape.
It felt like I’d noticed something lost in the distance.

Why do I now remember?

I don’t want to forget. I really don’t.
Don’t leave me alone. Those are the words I couldn’t say.
Even if they were utterly true
they should have left my fingers and flown away.

I can’t say a single thing about the usual days
and the mysteries I can’t collect.

Even if everything I see is false
and it was all a one-woman show since that day,
let me remain hollow a little longer
until the curtain falls…

I can smile from behind my mask
so I just can’t love enough to perform the emotions needed
to be loved. That’s all. There’s no need to cry.
Someday my missing piece will be filled.

Why are you not by my side?

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: