あたしのギター
atashi no gitaa
My Guitar
Vocals: みかん汁 (Mikan Shiru)
Lyrics: 椎名もた (siinamota)
Composed by: 椎名もた (siinamota)
Album: ミカニカルシルバム (Mikanical Shirubum)
Release date: 30 December 2014
Reqeusted by: jules
Content warning: Suicide themes
Please contact your local mental health hotline if you or someone you know is in crisis.
歌詞
飲み足りないただ飲み足りない
意味の無い暮らしにただバンザイ
その日暮らしでもただただ長い
飲みさしのコーラがひた眩しい
16錠でもまだ足りない
あなたに足りない私が嫌い
私に足りない私も嫌い
家に帰るまでが遠足じゃない
不完全燃焼いいとこ
だってそーする他今ないでしょ
きっとなぁなぁに流れるんでしょ
大人の都合とかゆーやつでしょ
２、３年前の傷跡も
ふとした間違いのしるしだけど
そこの錠剤いくつ混ぜ込んで
どーすんの どーすんの
過去も未来も取り返せないから
そこにデパス2錠
「馬鹿でー！」（ばっかでー！）
今この現在動けないなら
青く塗りたくってやればいいからね
飲み足りないまだ飲み足りない
扁桃腺が死ぬまで痛い
会いたくない今、会いたくない
みすぼらしいまでやつれてたい
18錠でもまだ足りない
「世界に足りない私」が欲しい
「私に足りない世界」も欲しい
さよならだけが答えじゃない
「左様ですか」「知らないけど」
「とこでこの傷は」「知らないけど」
「だって見せてるのはあなたでしょう」
「追い込んでるのも自分自身よ」
「知ったような口を聞かないでよ」
「だって知ってるもん仕方ないよ」
そこにカッターひとつ食い込んで
どーすんの どーすんの
眠れぬ夜も追い越せないぜ そこにハルシオン2錠
「馬鹿でー！」（ばっかでー！）
おかしなヨルに飲み込まれれば
清い目覚めなんか待っちゃいないからね
飲み足りないただ飲み足りない
意味のない暮らしにただバンザイ
飲み足りないまだ飲み足りない
扁桃腺が死ぬまで痛い
焦って君を手放しそうだよ
そこにセルシン1錠
「馬鹿でー！」（ばっかでー！）
これらに作られた感情で
この世を歩いていくと決めたからね
Romanisation
nomitarinai tada nomitarinai
imi no nai kurashi ni tada banzai
sono higurashi demo tada tada nagai
nomisashi no koora ga hita mabushii
juuroku-jou demo mada tarinai
anata ni tarinai watashi ga kirai
watashi ni tarinai watashi mo kirai
ie no kaeru made ga ensoku ja nai
fukanzen nenshou ii toko
datte soo suru hoka ima nai desho
kitto naa naa ni nagareru ndesho
otona no tsugou toka yuu yatsu desho
ni, san-nen mae no kizuato mo
futo shita machigai no shirushi dakedo
soko no jouzai ikutsu mazekonde
doo sun no doo sun no
kako mo mirai mo torikaesenai kara
soko ni depasu ni-jou
“baka dee!” (bakka dee!)
ima kono genzai ugokenai nara
aoku nuritaku tte yareba ii kara ne
nomitarinai mada nomitarinai
hentousen ga shinu made itai
aitakunai ima, aitakunai
misuborashii made yatsuretetai
juuhachi-jou demo mada tarinai
“sekai ni tarinai watashi” ga hoshii
“watashi ni tarinai sekai” mo hoshii
sayonara dake ga kotae ja nai
“sayou desuka” “shiranai kedo”
“tokode kono kizu wa” “shiranai kedo”
“datte miseteru no wa anata deshou”
“oikonderu no mo jibun jishin yo”
“shitta you na kuchi o kikanaide yo”
“datte shitteru mon shikata nai yo”
soko ni kattaa hitotsu kuikonde
doo sun no doo sun no
nemurenu yoru mo oikosenai ze soko ni harushion ni-jou
“baka dee!” (bakka dee!)
okashi na yoru ni nomikomarereba
kiyoi mezame nanka maccha inai kara ne
nomitarinai tada nomitarinai
imi no nai kurashi ni tada banzai
nomitarinai mada nomitarinai
hentousen ga shinu made itai
asette kimi o tebanashi sou da yo
soko ni serushin ichi-jou
“baka dee!” (bakka dee!)
korera ni tsukukurareta kanjou de
kono yo o aruite iku to kimeta kara ne
Translation
I haven’t drunk enough, I haven’t drunk enough.
Three cheers to this meaningless life!
I take things one day at a time but it just drags on.
My half-drunk cola sparkles.
I took 16 pills but it’s not enough.
I’m not good enough for you. I hate myself.
I’m not good enough for me. I hate myself.
I head straight home, taking no detours.
The good things won’t flare up.
Well, I’ve got no other choice now.
Maybe it’ll all just wash away.
I guess it’s what they call adult business.
The scars from two or three years ago
are signs of an impulsive mistake
but if I mix together a bunch of those pills…
What are you gonna do about it? What’ll you do?
I can’t reclaim the past or future
so I take two Depas pills.
“You idiot!” (You idiot!)
After all, if I can’t shift this reality
then I should just paint it blue if I want to.
I haven’t drunk enough, I haven’t drunk enough.
My tonsils ache so much I could drop dead.
I don’t want to see anyone now, I don’t.
I want to wear myself out.
I took 18 pills but it’s still not enough.
I want the world to be lacking me.
I want to be lacking the world.
Goodbyes aren’t an answer.
“Is that so?” “I don’t care.”
“By the way, this wound…” “I don’t care.”
“But you’re the one showing it off.”
“You’re the one driving yourself into a corner.”
“Don’t speak like you know what you’re talking about.”
“But I know. I can’t help it.”
The blade cut deep.
What are you gonna do about it? What’ll you do?
I’m stuck in this sleepless night, so I take two Halcyon pills.
“You idiot!” (You idiot!)
It’s because I’ve got no hope of waking up feeling refreshed
after being swallowed up by a weird night.
I haven’t drunk enough, I haven’t drunk enough.
Three cheers to this meaningless life!
I haven’t drunk enough, I haven’t drunk enough.
My tonsils ache so much I could drop dead.
I’m about to lose my mind and let you go
so I take a Cercine pill.
“You idiot!” (You idiot!)
It’s all because I decided to keep walking
with the feelings they made.
Releska 
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