前略、クッキング男子様へ || (Omitted), to the Cooking Men

料理のできない男子はYO!　時代遅れの木偶の坊!
M●C●’Sキッチン見習えよ!　けど油の摂りすぎ注意だYO!
せめてチャーハンぐらいはYO!　作れるようにならねえとYO!
この先生きのこられねえる!　か結局薬局何なのYO!(!?)
チャーハン作りの極意はおまら　ちゃんと分かっておるやろな
火加減強火で温かご飯で　油はラードを使うのYO!
最初にご飯と卵を絡めて　炒める輩は終わっとる
それある●る大事典のやり方で、 そんなのあるあ･･･ねーw
チャーハン作りは奥深いのYO!
パラパラチャーハン　舐めんな
Fxxk!

一体全体、わけくちゃワカラン　女子力ばっかの世の中YO!
一石投じる男子の料理は　少子化対策なりますYO!
調味料の「さしすせそ」とか　言えない輩が多過ぎる
「さしすせそ」の「そ」をソースと言う奴 　マジでホントにいてまうぞ!!
塩分糖分　摂りすぎダメYO!!
自炊を極めて　アブラカタブラ

Ryouri no dekinai danshi wa yo! Jidaiokure no dekuno bou!
M●C●’s kicchin minarae yo! Kedo abura no torisugi chuui da yo!
Semete chaahan gurai wa yo! Tsukureru you ni naranee to yo!
Kono sensei ikinokorenee ru! Ka kekkyoku yakkyoku nan nano yo! (!?)
Chaahan tsukuri no goku i wa omara chanto wakatte oru yaro na
Hikagen tsuyobi de atataka gohan de abura wa raado o tsukau no yo!
Saisho ni gohan to tamago o karamete ita meru yakara wa owattoru
Sore aru●ru daijiten no yarikata de, sonna no arua… nee w
Chaahan tsukuri wa okubukai no yo!
Parapara chaahan namenna
Fxxk!

Ittai zentai, wake kucha wakaran joshiryoku bakka no yononaka yo!
Isseki toujiru danshi no ryouri wa shoushika taisaku narimasu yo!
Choumiryou no “sa shi su se so” toka ienai yakara ga oosugiru
“Sa shi su se so” no “so” o soosu to iu yatsu maji de honto ni itemau zo!!
Enbun toubun torisugi dame yo!!
Jisui o kiwamete aburakatabura

To all you guys who can’t cook! You idiots who’re behind the times!
Watch and learn from M●C●’s Kitchen! But be careful of using too much oil!
You’re gonna be able to cook, YO! Fried rice, at the very least, YO!
You’ll be able to live on! Or what are those chemists even for, YO!(?!)
I bet you guys already know the secrets of making fried rice.
You use high heat, warm rice and lard as your oil, YO!
The ones who mix an egg with rice and fry them up are done for.
That method’s in any old cookbook but it’s all wrong, lol.
Making fried rice is a pretty deep thing, YO!
Don’t underestimate fluffy fried rice.
Fxxk!

I’ve got no idea what the heck is happening in this feminine world, YO!
Masculine cooking throws a stone to stop the declining birthrate, YO!
Too many guys don’t know the basic seasoning rules: ‘sa shi su se so’.²
There really are some people who say ‘so’ is for ‘sauce’.
Salt or sugar, too much is no good!
Master how to cook for yourself, and voila, abracadabra!