ヒトリ || Alone

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6 responses to “ヒトリ || Alone”

1. 

   Wit

   11 June 2020

   This is late, but thank you so much for this translation! It’s really made me appreciate the song even more and your translation (along with Tackmyn’s points) makes a really clear story! ^^

   In my opinion, the song really details how complex relationships with people can be, especially when people have separate views on it. With your translation, it seems like the protagonist doesn’t like being with this “you” because it makes them feel nauseous, dizzy, and “everyone [else] gets blurry”. At least, it feels this way and they don’t want to continue feeling like this, although they are at conflict because another side of them will still value this “you”. But no matter how much the protagonist values the “you” they’re alone in the sense that they are the only one to think this way. They alone find this person irreplacable whilst the “you” has many other people to take up that place. – – > hence the reason why they want to end the cycle of feeling unappreciated even though they know that things will go back to “I love you.” Even if the “I love you’d” of the two aren’t quite the same.

   This is just my take on it, though. ^^ Thank you once again for such a great translation!

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   1. 

      Releska

      11 June 2020

      You’re welcome! I made a few more adjustments to the translation, I think they further solidify your reading of it (especially now the distinction between the speaker and their beloved’s feelings is much clearer).

      I think it’s interesting that Shitoo has focused so much on the physical reaction felt by the speaker when they’re around their beloved. It makes the pain and complexity of unrequited or unequal love feel so much more real…

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2. 

   Tackmyn Y.

   10 June 2020

   Just passing comments here. 「あなたが好き」に元通り is maybe… oh, how do I put it? Like,「things go back to “I love you.”」? Well anyways, if it was 「“I love you.” With those words, things go back to normal,」 the original line would be 「あなたが好き」*で*元通り.
   And, I don’t think 一人 in this song always means “alone”… Regarding どうせ あなたにとって私は ただの一人, I feel it’s more like “Anyhow, to you, I am just one person” — like saying that “I” am nothing more than one of “your” friends, or “I” am not everything to “you” — does it make sense?
   Golly, I’m not able make English as well as I used to…

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   1. 

      Releska

      10 June 2020

      Thanks for the comment, and don’t worry about the English, it’s great and all makes sense to me (^_^)

      I appreciate your suggestion for 「あなたが好き」に元通り – that clarifies things and I’ve updated the line.

      Do you think we should treat 「あなたが好き」って元通り in the same way? My first instinct is to interpret it as 「あなたが好き」と言って元通りになる…

      I had a think about your second point, and I had a go at changing it to “just one of many” in those cases. ‘Of many’ isn’t strictly there in the original text, but I feel that it conveys exactly what you suggested – ‘you’ and ‘I’ are not particularly special, they’re just one person.

      Putting that aside, I always appreciate your comments and insight! It’s especially helpful when you indicate what the translation would look like translated back into Japanese, it helps deepen my understanding of grammar, etc.

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      1. 

         Tackmyn Y.

         10 June 2020

         I appreciate the revisions! And thank you so much for your kind words. Luckily my head is quite clear today.
         Regarding 「あなたが好き」って元通り, there’s no need to change it, I guess your interpretation is right!
         And, pardon me commenting again(I forgot to say this yesterday), but about the final line たった一人だったのに, I don’t think it’s “just one of many”… boy, this is why Japanese is difficult yet profound! I feel ひとり of that line is like… “you are the only one to me,” or I say, “one and only”? In my opinion, the protagonist thinks that ‘you’ are irreplaceable to ‘me’ whereas ‘I’ am just one of many to ‘you’… What a contrast. Does it make sense? ひとり has too many meanings in Japanese, doesn’t it?
         Plus, I have one more thing to say: perhaps you have to distinguish the translation of 意味のないことばっかりだった from the one of 意味のないループを繰り返す.
         Except those lines, your translation is very good! I always learn a lot from this website, such as English expressions I’ve never known and some novel ways to paraphrase… thank you so much!

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         1. 

            Releska

            11 June 2020

            You’re welcome! I get what you’re saying about たった一人だった, and I tried to bring that nuance across this time. I think ‘my one and only’ captures that, so I went along with it.

            I fixed up 意味のないことばっかりだった too. That was a miss on my part – the beginning part matched the earlier section with ‘loop’, so I accidentally kept it the same T_T

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